i had a boyfriend and i really liked him but we had to break up (long story) and we're still close friends but today i found out that he was going out with this slutty girl in my school. and it's all screwed up because it's only three days after we broke up and it's like he doesn't even care. i also learned from one of my best friends that he slept over this girls house when we were going out, we don't know what they did but the thought of him just going there hurts, she had a boyfriend at the time too.
i don't know what to do really, i can't yell at him because he's a good friend and i promised myself that i wouldn't cut myself anymore and the urge is coming back.
help?
2007-12-11 08:01:23 · 35 answers · asked by s2 xo Dana 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
instead of cutting urself cut paper r someit
2007-12-11 08:03:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your boyfriend is a bit of a slut himself. Time for a new boyfriend. Just realize young guys will sc**w mud while their mother is in the next room. Try not to take it so personal. Find a new boyfriend. If he fails to show you the respect you deserve, dump him, too. Don't lower yourself just to be around someone. You think girls will laugh at you if you don't have a boyfriend, what do you think they will say when you cling to a total a**hole who treats you like sh*t? Take the high ground. Boyfriends are a short term goal in the scheme of things and are easy come, easy go. Respect from others and of yourself is harder to earn and easy to throw away. Do you feel good about yourself when you have a boyfriend who lies, cheats and treats you bad? Let people know you won't put up with that crap. At the same time, you have to treat them they way you demand to be treated. Don't cheat on a boyfriend, flirt with other guys or make out behind the gym with some guy you just met because you weren't thinking. Now is the time to build the foundations for the rest of your life. If you aren't happy with yourself, why should anyone else be? If you don't have any respect for yourself, why should anyone else? Time to figure out the person you want to be. Good Luck.
And forget about your ex. He is your ex bf, not husband. To confront him would accomplish nothing. Move on. If he tries to confront you as to the reason you are blowing him off, tell him you don't appreciate people lying to you.
2007-12-11 08:18:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, cutting yourself is awful. Please don't do it. You will regret it so badly later on in life. It sounds like he is a cheater and a player... you should just stay friends with him and nothing more. Move on from him by having fun with your friends and only pay him mind as a platonic friend. Look at this as a part of your past that you can learn from. Obviously you didn't mean too much to him if he goes traipsing around with other girls 3 days after your break up... and supposedly visited her home when you were still with him. You're much better than that and are worth more... respect yourself!
2007-12-11 08:06:27 · answer #3 · answered by Maneerae 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't take it out on yourself (cutting)! he sounds like a skeeze to me but if you care about your friendship then try writing him a letter. Tell him that this behavior confuses you because yes you want to be his friend but it seems that he could have a little more courtesy than to pick up some bimbo (dont' use bimbo in the letter) only 3 days later
then keep the letter and read it the next day, this will help you to see any parts of the letter that may have been written out of anger or may be too rash. let a very close friend read it and see if they think it's ok too
then if you think you should, you should give it to him in a private place and tell him it's what you've been feeling but just didn't know how to say
good luck
2007-12-11 08:09:13 · answer #4 · answered by peacefrog 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's obviously hurt from your breakup and is just looking for a rebound girl to help him get over you. And the easiest way to do that is to go out with the slutty girl. It might be healthier for you to maybe distance yourself from him as a friend too, because it's not going to make the pain go away. If anything, it can make it hurt more. Just remember that if he's gonna stoop that low because he can't deal with his emotions, you're better off without him. He's not worth cutting. And if you need help, get help sweetie. You can always email me if you need to talk to someone.
2007-12-11 08:08:27 · answer #5 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Confront him with the information that you have but be prepared for an answer you may not be ready for. Breakups are always hurtful but they get easier with age and experience.
As far as cutting yourself again, you've already recognized that the urge is there and why it is there....now find another way to deal with this head on since cutting will only cause more guilt and pain. Stay occupied to keep your mind off of it.
2007-12-11 08:05:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
What do you mean "cut yourself" anymore? He's probably upset about your break up to but this is the only way he can forget about you and the pain he feels. Or maybe he's a jerk, everybody deals with the grief of losing someone they loved differently, don't look to deeply into it, there are plenty of fish in the sea! and the cutting yourself thing you might need to seek help for this...then he'd take you seriously.
2007-12-11 08:06:51 · answer #7 · answered by Karen T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel. Pretty much the same thing happened to me. Whatever happens...DO NOT CUT!!! Seriously. I know its hard not to, but you can't! Talk to him about it. Don't yell at him though. Ask him why he moved on so fast. Maybe that was his way of trying to move on. Don't think about the night that he spent over at this girl's house though. It will make you want to hurt yourself more. Not only that, but yelling at him for it will just push him away.
Just tell him how you feel, but do it in a nice way.
2007-12-11 08:09:20 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Boys are boys until they become men. Then they are still boys in men's bodies. You need to move on, as this will only bring you pain. The truth is boys are guided by sexual urges above anything else. We as girls, and then as women, are guided by our feelings and emotions. You need to move on, a true friendship with him isn't possible for you right now.
As far as cutting yourself goes, the urge rises from a self-loathing that you are basing on what you feel HIS perception is of you, or what you think he thinks of you. Can't allow him to validate you. YOU validate you. Hating yourself because he won't love or like you, is pointless. Move on and enjoy your life. If you are as young as you sound you have years of promise ahead and this will be a distant memory sooner than later.
2007-12-11 08:13:03 · answer #9 · answered by ☆ Spharoe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To tell you the truth, I would just react horribly. If he goes out with a SLUTTY girl that means he's not in a mood for a good relationship with someone he wants to spend time with. it seems as if he's looking for something else. Other than that, I had a similiar situation, and I just kept yelling at him..
2007-12-11 08:04:23 · answer #10 · answered by Customise 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to move on. Easier said than done, I'm sure, but it CAN be done. You should probably stay away from him, to help aid the process. Hang out with friends, do things to keep your mind off of him.
As for the cutting, you need to speak to a therapist or someone else that you can trust. Cutting doesn't help anything - I used to do it myself when I was a teenager, and it was not beneficial. Please get help.
2007-12-11 08:06:58 · answer #11 · answered by Kitten Toes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋