Why are some women so afraid of commitment?

Question

I am 20 and had a wonderful six month international friendship with

a girl who was 16 and we met on the internet, exchange photos and

found out that we had a lot in common to the point that she said we

were like soul mates. It soon became love but yet when I proposed

to her she said that she would not object to the idea of marriage but

that she was not ready for it and I respected that. Everything was

going well and then she tells me that she no longer wants to be in

contact with me because I want to be so close to her. She says it is

not my fault but rather it is her fault and then she says that she still

likes me but yet she would like for me to stop trying to contact her

or call her again. Why are some women so afraid of commitment?

What should someone do in this type of situation? Find another

woman even though the person still loves the other? Is this not a

betrayal by the woman and would it demand revenge?

What do you think?

Technically she is of legal age since

she is from England. We planned to

meet soon but she broke it off with

me that is a betrayal in my view and

treason is a death sentence and this

case is no different Don't you agree?

You know what is funny? She did say

that she was starting to become

creeped out because I would send

her emails nearly everyday and if she

did not answer her phone I would just

keep trying. Is that an obsession? I

don't think it is one.

Answer 1

Dude:

Let go. You're better off. I once fell in love under similar circumstances. She was 16, I was 22. The biggest difference was in my case she said yes. Everything was like fairy tale magic until AFTER we got married.

Though we had agreed before marriage to wait to start a family until we were more established and financially stable.
Within 2 days of being married, she began to bully me to knock her up till I finally conceded to shut her up.

I thought I would have peace, but after this, I came home from work every night to "boohoohoo, I wanna go home". I wasted 6 months trying to get a job where she was from to no avail. My tour was up, so in desperation, I went back to my home town, I had joined up to escape, as I knew how to survive there.

I got an apartment for the three of us. There wasn't much in the way of jobs in a dead industrial town, but luckily I found some one that wouldn't pay for overtime, but let me work all the hours I wanted. I thought i would finally get ahead.

Nope. I went to work 10-12 hours a day. My "wife" spent most of her day in bed doing nothing. I oftenly found my daughter in the same diaper I put her in before i had left for work. The house was always a mess, and I was oftenly expected to eat a cold sandwich after working my @$$ off. Her excuse? "This isn't my house so I don't want to take care of it". This came from a girl that came from a country where working people have pretty much no chance of owning a house and have to rent one from the government.

I stuck my neck out and bought a house, even though I really couldn't afford it. She straightened out for about 2 months and was the perfect wife. Then, just like the wind, straight back to the same old $#!+.

To make a long story short, weeks before my 2nd child's 2nd birthday, she went home to take the kids to see her mom who had cancer. In actuality, she had made plans to leave me for a rich man she had known as a child, that was my father's age. She stole my passport, rang up every bill she could behind my back and left, hoping I'd crack up in the ruins.

Between the debt she left, and the cost of getting my children back and a divorce from another country, I was in massive debt for 15 years. Just as I was getting out of it i lost my job, and couldn't find another for six months and am playing catch up once again.

My story is true. alot of it has been left out to tell the story without writing a book. If you still want to pursue this girl after reading my story, you're effin' nutz.

Answer 2

Revenge? Like what?

It sounds like you scared her - not with commitment, but with obsession. You didn't leave her alone, so she was afraid you were over-obsessed with her, and some women don't like that. They think it's creepy, and it's a turn-off. Obsession isn't love- see http://teenadvice.about.com/od/loveanddating/a/3thingslove_3.htm

Why are women afraid of obsession? Stalkers are obsessive. Serial killers are obsessive. Nobody wants to be in a relationship with someone that loves you so much they'd kill you if you ever left them. Obsession isn't love, it's scary. Women are afraid of that because it isn't healthy.

The best thing you can do is leave her alone. Long distance relationships don't always work, especially if they never started face-to-face. Chances are there wasn't that much of a relationship you had to begin with.

For goodness sake, no revenge. If you're thinking about revenge, you're living up to her fears.

Give women more space. I have a feeling you're not going to get this one. But in the future, don't fantasize so much, and don't constantly tell the girl you love her. Trust me, she'll know. And if you find yourself obsessing over someone, cut back. There's commitment and then there's creepy. You don't want to be the latter.

Oh, and wait to propose until you've been going out, in person, for more than a year. Five years if you want to play it safe. That's how slow normal relationships should go.

Answer 3

definite, there are women those with this comparable project. that's a human project not a male project. My new child's aunt, their fathers sister. She has continuously and could in basic terms date married adult adult males. i stumble on it an exceedingly terrible and unacceptable prepare. She has even made babies with various of those adult adult males. at some point she and that i had a verbal substitute, she knows i don't and could never settle for this habit notwithstanding, she is a grown women human beings. She suggested she likes as much as now married adult adult males or maybe conceive babies, no strings related. She does not have a dedication and does not prefer or prefer one. Very ill in my point of view. i think of she is afraid to come to a decision to one guy, and nicely-knownshows it secure to have a relationship with a guy who isn't obtainable to her for a actual relationship. God bless****

Answer 4

1. A 16 year old girl is NOT a woman.
2. You never met this person.
3. You proposed marriage to someone you have never met.

This is NOT a relationship!

Answer 5

First of all you need to date people that are legal...you know over the age of 18. She is barely legal to drive and you want to know why "women" are afraid of commitment....she is a little girl...women arent afraid of commitment. Stop robbing the cradle and maybe you will find someone that is mature and ready for a relationship!

Answer 6

She's... s i x t e e n...16years old; she's still a child and still in highschool, that's why she's not ready for marriage!

If you'd even think of getting revenge against a 16 year old girl then she was right to end it with you cuz you got serious mental problems.

♪♫Tweedle Dee...Tweedle Dum♪♫

Answer 7

You're 20 and she's 16! Get over it and move on. You have so much living to do, get out and do it already!! There's a lot more fish in the sea.

Answer 8

I think it because they want more from men so they realy want somethink real

Answer 9

only because they was hurt in the past but dang that was rough, i do feel for you.

Answer 10

THEY HAVE BEEN HURT iN THE PAST MAyBE!!