My roommate is extremely messy and never lifts a finger to clean. She'll even follow me around as I'm scrubbing down the floors, bathroom, etc and talk to me...and she'll comment on how lazy she is! She'll walk by overflowing trash by the door and say how it smells as she walks out to leave (the dumpster is literally a 10 second walk from our front door). To top it off, she'll eat stuff of mine and not replace it which has gotten kind of expensive. Also, she's a hair stylist and says my drugstore products are "crap"...so she'll just throw them away! Not replace them with stuff she bought for me, she'll just throw them away! She's done this like 3 times and every time I say something she just shrugs and says it's bad for your hair. What should I do?!?! She has kind of a short temper so I don't know how to approach her. We have 6 months left in the lease, after which I'm definitely getting a place of my own, but I need to know how to deal with this!
2007-12-11 07:19:17 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I've talked to her about it before, but she always just laughs about how "clean" I am and how "lazy" she is. I've tried not cleaning for 2 weeks and it was so disgusting it made my bf gag when he came over, no joke! Dirty socks everywhere, plates crusted to the floor, spills on the floor never cleaned up. It's THAT BAD! She works a part time job and uses that as her excuse but we work about the same b/c I'm always staying late at the office. We both only work about 50 hours/week max so it's not like it's excessive.
2007-12-11 07:41:52 · update #1
I'm definitely not obsessive over cleaning at all, I'm just sick of the absolute filth that I always have to clean up.
2007-12-11 07:53:25 · update #2
Tell her how you feel.
If that doesnt work, get a new roommate.
2007-12-11 07:22:39 · answer #1 · answered by Too Silly 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You shouldn't have to deal with this. It's not fair to you, or to her. If I were you, I would tell her directly how you feel, and state HOW IT IS. Use facts, and request more assistance from her. She needs to SEE how frustrated you are. If you've been holding it inside all this time, then perhaps that's why she's been the way she is because she doesn't realize **** and she doesn't see how it is affecting you. If you don't see any improvement, then let her know things aren't working out and that you're going to look into other living arrangements. As a last resort, and this may seem immature, but DON'T CLEAN AND DON'T PICK UP ANYTHING for a week or maybe two. Then maybe she'll see that if you don't do it, it won't get done, and it falls back on her. Good luck!
2007-12-11 07:30:45 · answer #2 · answered by Ahbeeee 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You do not let people run your life number one. Number two tell her you buy stuff you like, and you would appreciate her leaving your stuff alone. If she uses it she is to replace it immediately. She has responsibilities as a roommate to keep the room you share clean, and she will share in the rooms cleaning, as well as throwing out the garbage. She certainly doesn't keep her shop that way or they would close her down. I know because i done the same things as she does for years. And as far as the products she sells and carries in the shop is a bunch of s---! They have products that we carried in the shops in Wal Marts and pharmacies today. The reason is because these companies decided to go to the market to make more money, instead of just selling them in the Beauty and Barber Shops where they were making less money. Redkin was one of the top products for years. Just about every hair product to day is PH adjusted. She carries a product that they don't carry in the stores because they can't compete with the big chain stores. She needs to be put in her place fast. Don't let her get by with it, if you do she is the type to force herself on you. I have met girls like her before, and s---canned them. They are useless in a business as the clientell will leave because of their rudness. Stand up to her, lay the law, and tell her to smarten up your no push over or anybodies fool. what will you lose? But a Looser! Good Luck1 Have a great Christmas and remember to pray for out troops, and light a candle for those who can't be with us!
2007-12-11 07:44:38 · answer #3 · answered by mandm68 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Put your concerns, about her behavior, in writing. Tell her how you are fed up, with her not participating in the care and cleaning of the apartment you share.
Tell her that if she's unwilling to assist you in the cleaning and chores, the least she could do, is pay for a cleaning lady, to come in once or twice a week.
As for the items she's tossed, give her an accounting of the costs of those items, and tell her, you expect her to replace, or pay you for the items she's thrown away. They were not her items to dispose of. ( do not retaliate, by tossing her items, that would make you like her)
As for the food she's eating. Tell her, you will be going shopping, ask her what items she wants, and ask her to contribute some cash to the shopping. If she is unwilling to cooperate, then inform her not to touch your items. Perhaps getting a small mini fridge for your room would be in order.
If she does not repay you for the items. Tell her you'll be taking her to small claims court. That may give her some incentive.
Good Luck to you... she sounds like a nightmare.
2007-12-11 09:05:20 · answer #4 · answered by Foggy Idea 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her, she will like to honesty, beside if she beats you up you can always file assault charges against her and have her evicted, this may be a bit extreme but may prove necessary. I hope it doesn't come to that. You can offer to clean up room 1x/ week and she can make adjustments. If I may point out you also could be a little obsessive compulsive. One rule to live by if a person cannot afford the stuff you have, do not let them borrow it. My old roommate used to leave his used condoms and his sex wipe off towel on the floor one day I found it in my bed. I had to kick his face in, I still have his teeth in my jar as a souvenir.
2007-12-11 07:42:08 · answer #5 · answered by Jerome M 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you can afford to get a place of your own, toss her now. Six months is a long time to put up with that mess. Short temper or not, I would let her know that her inability to clean and maintain the house and her inconsideration of your personal property forces you to ask her to leave as soon as possible. In the meantime, put a lock on your personal stuff.
2007-12-11 07:24:38 · answer #6 · answered by dawnb 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
put anything you dont want trashed in a safe place and if you dont want to confront her then just live as if she werent there. i had a roomate like that and after so much bitching from me she finally left. if it were me i'd tell her straight up to find another place to live or pay for the things shes used and trashed, she has no legal right to steal from you and throw things away that you paid for. take her to court if you must, dont let her walk all over you or it'll never stop.
2007-12-11 07:25:13 · answer #7 · answered by TwistedBlackVines 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Spend as much time as you can at the boyfriend's house for the next 6 months.
2007-12-11 08:10:18 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her how you feel and say from now on what's mine is mine and what yours is yours. As far as the cleaning goes, just do what you can, only 6 months left. I don't think you can make her clean, so you're screwed there.
2007-12-11 07:23:32 · answer #9 · answered by Mark C 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I know how you feel - my husbands cousin lives with us and he's exactly the same way! If I were you, don't take out the trash .. she needs to do it her damn self. Keep all your stuff in your room and lock it! Buy a mini fridge for your room and padlock it!
2007-12-11 07:24:21 · answer #10 · answered by 4eyedgal 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Since you have already brought it to her attention and to no avail. The only alternative is to wait out the six months and then move as fast and as far away from her as possible. And take it as a very valuable lesson learned. God bless****
2007-12-11 07:46:48 · answer #11 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋