My husband's Wiccan and I have questions.?

Question

I was raised Catholic and it really wasn't until I met my husband that I started looking into other religions. My husband is a Wiccan. I'm finding myself more and more uncomfortable about things he talks about and I'm not sure if it's part of his religion or if he might be going insane.
He talks about when he's asleep he's not really in a dreamworld, he's actually in another dimension. And he says things about talking to fairies and seeing them. He talks about demons, other realms, and that he's not really a mortal.
It kind of freaks me out, and I don't want to seem unsupportive of his religion, but at the sametime I'm not really sure this is a sane.
Any help and explaination would be nice, and I would really prefer no bashing about his religion.

I think I should've added that I'm not a praticing Catholic. I've never read the Bible and I never really paid attention in church, I was forced to go by my parents. So, I'm not really familiar to what Catholics believe or do. That's sad, right?

Answer 1

I know from my experience that there are other dimensions that can be contacted during sleep, and fairy energies can be interacted with. The part where I got worried was when you mentioned demons and not being mortal. I tuned in to see if I could pick up anything psychically, and I do think there is cause to worry. But I also see that he's very stubborn and not given to listening. I think most of his problem is him being solitary. Encourage him to reach out to others. He can go to www.witchvox.com to find local folks, or I suggest http://witches.meetup.com where there are local social events where he can talk to others. My magickal partner is also a psychotherapist who says all this would be labelled psychotic by DSM and suggests asking around for an open-minded therapist. I would also suggest he find some training in Reiki, which is very grounding and relaxing and calming. He seems very stressed and also depressed, and Reiki will help with that. You are a very loving wife to try so hard to help him and to understand him without judging him! Please feel free to reach out - this community is here to help! Hugs!

Answer 2

Like all religions, we have our nuts. Wiccans, Pagans, and other practitioners of Neopagan and Occult religions can go from one extreme or the other -- very rational and skeptical, or completely off the deep end. Most are somewhere in the middle. Some are able to shift their paradigm from the most rational to the mystical and back again at will. Some Pagans see other worlds, the Gods, and the spirits as being psychological constructs in their own mind with deep psychological meaning and no objective reality. Most, I think, see the Gods and other worlds as real, but as something to help guide you in this life and to help you function better in this world. There is a time to come back to Earth, and deal with your life, after all. But because we use spooky sounding words, like "witch" and "magick" we tend to attract people who aren't very comfortable in reality. So, there are a few who take their experiences literally, believe that they have special powers, and who spend so much time in the Astral that they forget how the Real World works. These are the ones that tend to give the rest of us a bad name. Exasperating this problem is the fact that we are largely unorganized, and there isn't enough sane and well balanced peer support for new Pagans in most areas. And then, there's the Otherkin subculture, which just encourages this sort of thing.

It sounds like your husband is loosing touch, and needs a reality check. Find an open-minded therapist, and possibly a local community of Pagans for support and guidance.

Answer 3

He may be going insane, but his beliefs do correspond exactly with what other Wiccans have said to me. He doesn't sound insane to me- he sounds ignorant, arrogant, and like he's boasting about his abilities without a real awareness of what's going on, or consideration of your feelings... Is he a relatively new Wiccan?

Many Wiccans believe that it is possible to enter the Astral plane (another dimension) when asleep. I believe so myself. It's not recommended to do so, because one has so much less control than when awake- unless on practices Lucid Dreaming. Does he do Lucid Dreaming?

Many see faeries and talk to them. I myself neither see nor talk to them- If I did see them, I would probably be very polite, but otherwise avoid them; like Wyvern13 says, they have a whole set of different rules than humans do. They can be naughty or even dangerous if you offend them.

He should Not be having anything to do with demons! Period.

Some Wiccans, myself included, believe that they are "twice born" , meaning that they reincarnate and never die the way that other religions believe that people do. Is this what he means by not being mortal? Did he say he was not mortal in the sense of not being human, or did he mean he was immortal in the sense of living through repeated reincarnations?

Y'know- just because it's his religion doesn't mean that you can't put your foot down in certain areas. I would demand that he stop astral traveling while asleep; that he have nothing to do with demons; that he stop playing with faeries; and that he fully explains the statements that he makes.

I would also ask if he does the proper protection and cleansing spells. Stray psychic and spiritual energies CAN damage one mentally and/or emotionally. You may even want to tell him to practice outside of the house.

I live with my moms- I don't do circles or spells at home because it freaks her out- She is psychic enough to pick up energies, and she doesn't understand them, so they frighten her. It's about respect for each other as individuals.

Answer 4

There are three options:
1. He's speaking allegorically, about his own psychological self development. (Much as Jung analized the gods, and alternate dimensions within his own dreams and meditations)
2. He's right that there are actually other dimensions, for which you have to ask yourself why you're so against the idea, when Quantum physics has already proved that they exist. Then you have to decide whether he, as a human, has the power to access these dimensions. Look at it this way, Plata, Tesla, Einstein, Freud all believed they accessed alternate dimensions to come up with their revolutionary ideas. (Einstein did so in a lucid meditative state, for example)
3. There are no other dimensions. This doesn't automatically make your husband insane, but maybe a little diluded, which wouldn't be out of the norm, because most people must be diluding themselves about something or other. (Catholics with Transubstanciation and a Zombie, rise again from the grave, God as an example) Then you have to decide if your pity for him is so much that you don't respect him anymore.

Answer 5

Um...well, I'm Wiccan, and there are other dimensions, but I don't visit them in dreamworld (I consider that unsafe), and faeries can be dangerous to consort with, since they have a whole different set of rules than we do, but I'm definitely a mortal and the fact that he says he's not is very, very troubling. As well as the fact that he's openly sharing so much of this with you when it clearly makes you uncomfortable.

If I were you, I'd find a New Age store in your area and pick up a book called "When Someone You Love is Wiccan." It's simplistic, but will at least give you a little more insight on what Wicca is. I really don't get the feeling, from what you've said, that your husband is stable. I would never discuss my spiritual work with my boyfriend, because it's my spiritual work and not his.

Good luck.

)O(

Answer 6

First of all, if you are calling yourself Catholic, then read your Bible and understand it in the context that it is. Much of what is there is allegorical rather than historical.

As Pagans, we understand what you are saying. Many Pagans believe in the realm of the Fae as well as other dimensions (other dimensions have been theorized by scientists for decades).

We all believe in spirits, but few of us believe in demons. Demons and the Devil are Christian affectations and if he has no proper training or is self-taught, then it could be that he is expressing these things in terms that both you and he can understand.

What he could be experiencing is out of body travel or lucid dreaming of some type.

As we Pagans believe, there are other dimensions and in the etheric, all time is now. That means that in the etheric plane, all time happens at the same time. It is difficult to picture in this plane as we live a linear existence, which puts a simple understanding of time within our grasp.

Now, on the flip side, he could be having some mental issues in addition to this.

His statement that he is not mortal could be indicative of a real mental issue, or he could be saying something of the immortality of the human spirit in the etherial plane which has been misunderstood by you or misstated by him.

If there is a serious concern, then he should see a mental health professional. One who will not be judgmental of Pagan beliefs.

Also, you could read a few of the books on Pagan beliefs to better understand what he believes in.

Paganism is no more or less subject to having believers who have mental health issues.
From the most minor to major losses of emotional stability, no matter what religion one does or does not have, no religion is safe from it.

Answer 7

It is a commonly held Occult belief that when we dream we are actually astral projecting, which is when the astral form, or spirit as you will, leaves the body and travels elsewhere. The Occult view of the world is that the physical world is but one layer of an infinite number of realities, the astral plane being among them. This would be what he's talking about.

Fairies are a common thing that people in Pagan religions interact with. As for not being a mortal..there are a certain subculture called Otherkin, people who believe that they are the reincarnations of some other beings that are not human, and that spiritually they are those other beings. For the most part those people are harmless.

Personally I don't see how that is anymore "insane" than believing in a man who could bring people back from the dead, or believing in angels, or in Satan.

Answer 8

I want to clarify one of your sentences...does he talk in his sleep about these things or does he talk while awake about things that happen in his sleep? If he's talking in his sleep, I wouldn't worry about it. Lots of people dream really strange things and say really strange things when it's happening.

If he's talking about this while he's awake, I'm not sure what to recommend other than he probably isn't going "insane." That's a really strong word that may be overly concerning you. I think what you're actually worried about is some sort of mental illness.

A lot of this depends on the specifics of what he's saying. Wiccans often say "I am God. I am Goddess." Although we don't usually deny we're also mortal. Does he say what he is? Vampire? Elf? Otherkin? Those aren't distinctly Wiccan beliefs and there are other people who hold to them.

Demons don't usually have a place in Wicca, but again, we're eclectic enough he could certainly believe in demonic-type creatures along with Wiccan ones.

There are people who say they see fairies. Again, not specific to Wicca but certainly possible.

I think maybe the best thing is to judge how he's acting on these statements. If you think he's going to get hurt (or hurt someone else) then I think you need to bring in professional help. Having chats with fairies is one thing. Having the fairies tell him to do things is entirely another matter.

The fact is I can't tell you whether the fairies or real or whether its in his head. And unless they can find something physically wrong with his brain, neither can a doctor in all honesty. There's no scientific test for fairies.

Hope that helps. Feel free to email me if you have more questions.

Answer 9

I'm going to answer in two parts. One as a psych major and the other as a pagan

First of all there is a fine line between religion and crazy. I'm going to piss some people off with that, but it's the truth. I AM a theist. I "get" religion. But there is still a fine line. There is even some arguement of whether religion in itself is a sign of mental illness. Very contraversal but it still exists.
So when does that line get crossed? I personally think it's the perception of your religion that draws that line. Do I hear the gods? Yes. Do I hear "voices in my head"? No. Yes there is a difference. The gods speak to me through me. Not some disemobodied voice in my subconcious. These voices aren't commanding me either. Many people who hear voices feel that HAVE to listen to those voices. I understand that I have free will and don't HAVE to do jackshit.
Now that line that I am refering too can generally be classified as
Schizotypal

The Schizotypal Personality is often described by others as strange acting and/or thinking. They have eccentric ideas about the world, may be highly superstitious, and talk frequently about their beliefs. They often spend a great deal of effort on activities related to magical thinking, clairvoyance, telepathy, or ESP. They also speak in a metaphorical tone, often coming across as confusing and overly abstract. They often lack close friends and suffer from social anxieties. Their presentation is seen as odd, as they often dress in a peculiar manner and come across as suspicious and lacking in emotional expression
(As stated in the DSM)
Here you see that "magical thinking" is not the only part of being mentally ill. There are plently of people out there who believe in things we can not touch or feel and are perfectly sane.
I have to say the "he's not really a mortal" is dancing dangerously close to that line if not crossing it.n

Now answering as a pagan, I know people who believe many of what you listed. I personally don't buy into a lot of it, but I know a Shadow Worker who believes just about all your have listed and she is the most grounded person I know. Mainly what you are going to be looking for is maladaptive behavior and loss of touch with reality (which is a psychotic break).
Do I think as both a pagan and psycholgy student you should be worried? Yes. Does everything he believe sound crazy? No. I would talk to him about seeing some one and going from there.

Answer 10

I've been Wiccan for over 20 years, and I don't think I've ever said or believed anything like "He talks about when he's asleep he's not really in a dreamworld, he's actually in another dimension. And he says things about talking to fairies and seeing them. He talks about demons, other realms, and that he's not really a mortal."

Sounds nuts to me.