My cousin is getting married next month, it is nothing big, she became pregnant and wnats to do it before she gets too big. She had told me that the colors for the wedding were red, black and white. So I already bought my husband a black dress shirt and red tie, and I bought my daughter a really pretty red black and white dress, she will be the flower girl. She called to tell me that my husband can not wear that b/c she wants half the ppl wearing a white shirt and half wearing a red shirt. She wants to pick out my outfit...although I am only attending I'm not even a bridesmaid, and she wants a different dress for my daughter. I'm a little upset about it because she had said before just anything with those three colors would be fine, and now that I bought two of the outfits she wants something else. Should she really be in charge of what we wear? Should I just shut up and go along with it or show up in what I want, granted I still be wearing the three colors she wants?
2007-12-11 05:52:03 · 23 answers · asked by .:Tina ♥ marie:. 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Also my husband already told me he is wearing what he wants to, my cousin's husband to be is my husbands best friend, and my husband and I both know that he would agree with us.
2007-12-11 05:56:35 · update #1
She just sent me a txt saying that the 3 of us half to match, she wants the 3 of us to wear red, "like everyone else"
2007-12-11 05:58:39 · update #2
Yes, she actually IS 18!! literally
2007-12-11 06:04:11 · update #3
If you're daughter is in the wedding, you should return the dress for another one. If you can't find another one, however, don't stress about it and let her know you can't find anything else. As far as you and your husband, if you aren't in the wedding - she can't tell you what to wear! She should be happy that you are attending and will be celebrating with her on her special day. Don't worry about it. What you have sounds ok. The bride is being a bit too demanding it sounds like. If that's how she wanted it done, she should have specified in the invitations.
2007-12-11 05:57:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
whoa. this is why people so young and immature SHOULD NOT get married. is what you wear really going to make a difference? NO. a wedding is about the couple's love and commitment, not these trivial details!!!
if you and your husband are not in the wedding party, then she should not have any say in what you wear other than requesting the level of formality - and even then it's just a request.
since your daughter is a flower girl I guess she does have a say. Can you return what you already bought her? If not, I would tell her that you can't afford to buy her something else, you already bought a dress based on what she originally told you and if she wants your daughter in something else, should can buy it herself. seriously. people need to not be so ridiculously controlling about the littlest details of their wedding.
what does your cousin's mother say? I'm guessing if she's 18 her mother is very involved. can she talk some sense into her? or is she just as bad?
2007-12-11 08:41:05 · answer #2 · answered by not margaret 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW! Is she hormonal or what?
If your husband is in the wedding, then the bride should have told you what she wanted him to wear. If he's not, then what he wears is not her decision. A bride doesn't dictate the guests clothing. (And she doesn't get to tell YOU what to wear if you're not in the wedding.)
The flower girl dress sounds really sweet. Did she tell you to find something for your daughter to wear? And that anything with those colors would work? If so, then she's stuck with what you bought. If she doesn't like it, then she needs to be responsible for returning the dress and picking out another one. YOU shouldn't have to buy dresses on approval for her. That's not reasonable.
Good luck with this one. I'd pinch her head off if she were my cousin!!! :-)
Oh.......about her red/white thing. Is she going to arrange people in chairs so that one person has red, one has white, one has red, etc? Instead of being mad, I might have to die laughing at her. This is just crazy!
2007-12-11 07:06:47 · answer #3 · answered by Woods 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
While your cousin probably isn't exactly "right" here, I would be more interested in helping her out, and relieving her stress. She's planning a wedding ON TOP of being pregnant, and since she's wanting to have this wedding before she's showing too much, she's in her first trimester. You've been pregnant before, so try to put yourself in her shoes for a few minutes.
She's out of line, I'll grant you that, but it sounds to me like she's not going to get any better. See if you can return the stuff you've already bought, if you can, then simply return it, and get what she would like your husband and daughter to wear. If she wants to help you select an outfit, let her. As long as you like it, then let her do it. I think she's taking on way too much, and she's making something that can be very simple very complicated, but some people do that. You can either go with the flow, or get her massively upset here. If it were me, I'd be going with the flow, as long as she's not asking you to spend money you don't have, or picking out things that you can't use again. At that point, I would have to remind her that you're not in the wedding, you're simply a guest, and you're not going to spend your money on something you won't wear again. If your daughter is the flower girl, then she does have a little more control over that decision, let her make it, and move on. Good luck!
2007-12-11 06:02:02 · answer #4 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I have witnessed such behavior with my dh family. Dh has a tuxedo and every time there is a wedding in the family they decide to go with some other corny style. I really think the bride should pay for the cloth if they are that picky. I am not sure who ever made those rules where one person can dictate what every one puts on to their wedding. I hope you can return the cloth you bought. As you are not in the wedding I would not let her pick your outfit. Your dh and daughter are in the wedding and you might be better off just using the cloth she has picked out. It does not sit right with me at all.
2007-12-11 06:08:30 · answer #5 · answered by Iris R 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, can I say BRIDEZILLA?!?!?
I can understand if she wanted the flower girl to be in a particular color or style of dress, as she is considered to be part of the wedding party. However, if you are attending as a guest, she has absolutely no right to tell you what to wear. The wedding couple can "request" their guests to attend in black tie, semi-formal, or casual wear, but not specific items or outfits. That is inconsiderate and just plain "ghetto".
Just show up in what you want, because others will be doing it too.
2007-12-11 06:07:54 · answer #6 · answered by Benji's Mommy 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Maybe it's hormones? She's probably obsessing about this because it's an easier thing to worry about than all the changes she is going through now. It's all anxiety. If you have the means to, I say do what she wants. Doing what you want will cause more drama for this kid & probably create fights that aren't worth having. If you don't have the means, offer to wear what she wants if she's buying- at least you'd get some new clothes out of it. You absolutely have the right to wear what you want, but I doubt she's going to see the light.
2007-12-11 13:29:08 · answer #7 · answered by Allison 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her she will need to purchase the dress for your daughter as flower girl, unless you can return it. If you and your husband are not "in" the wedding, wear what you want. Unless of course she wishes to purchase outfits for you as well. She should not expect everyone to buy a particular color of shirt.
2007-12-11 05:59:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow, she really thinks she has a say in what her guests wear? that's crazy! being picky about what the bridesmaids and flower girl wear is understandable, but this is just overkill. if i were you, i'd tell her that since she's deciding to change her mind about what she wants, if she wants a different dress for your daughter then she'll have to help out with the cost, but as for your attire, you can wear whatever you want.
oh, she's 18, that makes much more sense now...
2007-12-11 06:01:31 · answer #9 · answered by LoriBeth 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She should not be in charge of what you wear. She sounds way to picky, what you have picked out sounds nice. And as for your daughter dress, I would tell her that you already have bought her a dress and if she would like something different, then she will need to buy it. Good Luck and have fun.
2007-12-11 05:59:12 · answer #10 · answered by tarie75 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋