what do you think of a mother that tells her child to' get over it'?

Question

when the family pet has died and the child is bawling crying and lucking for some comfort?is this cold reaction the signal of a bad mother?

or emotionally abusive household?

well it had been a few months and it was resolved but the child was reminded of it again and the child was only about 7 or 8?

but don't you think its the mothers role to be nurturing and kind and not to leave the child feeling she is in a cold and hostile enviroment?doesn't that response lower a child's self esteem?

Answer 1

not very sensitive, but not necessarily meaning bad mother or abusive household.

Answer 2

A parent who reacts this way is not uncommon and not really a sign of a bad parent or an abusive one but simply a non-sensitive one. Perhaps the parent was also raised in a home where a pet is just a pet and nothing to cry over. Usually it is the father or male figure that responds to a family pet dying by telling everyone to "get over it" as if the pet was just nothing more than a pet but there are mothers and female figures that are like that as well. Not everyone feels a family pet is a part of the family. Now if the mother was to hit the child for crying or punish them for crying then that would be more of a sign of abuse in the home but to just say "get over it" while that is cold and insensitive it is their way of handling the situation and not considered a sign of any kind of abuse.

Answer 3

I would say both. The child who just wanted and needed to be comforted and the Mother sounds very cold and unattached to this child,which is very sad.Is this how shes going to react when her Daughter gets her 1st broken heart and need some one to lean on.I can only Hope there is another relative near or a friend that can give comfort and support to this child.I lost my Dog a few yrs ago we had to put him to sleep and I could not do this,He was like a child to me and my Husband who was not all that found of my dog went into the room while he was put down while I went to the car and bawled.

Answer 4

"Get over it" wasn't the popular trendy catch-phrase that it is now, back when I was a kid. My mother would just yell that if I wanted to cry, she'd give me a reason, and then she'd start hitting me or pulling my hair.
Even as a small child, I was struck by the total illogic of her behavior. Clearly, I already HAD a reason to cry or I wouldn't BE crying, then - would I? Adults were supposed to be so much smarter than us kids, so why wasn't SHE smart enough to see THAT?

"what do you think of a mother that tells her child to' get over it'?" Well, she's a notch above mine, since she apparently didn't lapse into physical abuse, as well, but a long distance below what she should have been.

Answer 5

Who's to say what is "bad" or "good" parenting. Many of us would not use those words as a way of helping a child with their grief/loss of a pet, but maybe that's the way she grew up and is using the same parenting skills that were used on her. If she's a close friend then maybe you should tell her that it bothered you and has she thought of another way of handling that situation. She can either thank you or tell you off.

Answer 6

I dont think it's an emotionally abusive home. Nor do i think it's a signal of a bad mom.

I do how ever thinkg it's a mom who may not value a pet like the child did. She may value the animal as just that an animal, and the child may value the animal as a friend.

A little harsh, probably, Could have handled it better and explained that it's an animal, and that like people they have an end of their life too.

Answer 7

To say that this is a sign of a bad mother may be a bit heavy handed. I think this kind of reaction occurs very often for many different reasons. My sense is, most parents who respond with a "get over it" attitude are most likely uncomfortable with their child's grief or negative displays of emotion and probably feel a bit helpless with how to deal with them. Maybe such a parent feels poorly equipped to offer emotional support. It is interesting to me that many people who feel emotionally deprived, themselves, may feel incapable of giving emotional support to others. Another explanation may simply be that parents who behave in such a way are uncomfortable with emotion. In cases like that, I would predict we would find more "bad fathers" than "bad mothers." Obviously there is more to it than a quick judgment like that.

Answer 8

I think it's emotionally abusive for a parent to not give comfort to a child who has lost a pet.

Answer 9

a pet is a very important tning to a child.Show your child that you also acknowledge his hurt and start from there,In a few weeks It is not the signal of a bad mother but one who could use some advice.

Answer 10

I think you can nicly explain to the child that the pet has died and kindly talk to him . give him confort at first, then tell him he can now move on and forget about it. maybe get him something else so he can feel better like a toy he wants or another pet. the child was probably close to the pet and thought of it as a friend so treat it as one of his friends died.

Answer 11

No,

Its just not " COMMON"

I know many people who tell their kids to toughen it UP

Personally its not the best way, nor the most compassionate,

But it doesn't mean the parent is BAD nor abusive,

Perhaps she had a reason and wanted to snap him out of his misery, ( he could have been crying for hours and DAYS)

You really can't judge, and we really don't know the WHOLE situation,

M