I have told my three year old Santa is pretend - why am I demonised for this?

Question

I have told my little girl Santa is pretend - just in the same way Dora the explorer, Winnie the Pooh etc are also pretend.

My reason for doing this is that I want her to always know that I am truthful with her. Inevitably she will find out it is all just a charade and perhaps a part of her will lose trust in me for carrying on that lie. I dont be a spoil sport and I play along etc but I let her know it is just a game.

I am Christian and do not then want her to see Jesus and Santa as both something they believed in but which turned out to be make believe. (yes, atheists insert your snide comment here)

Why do some people make such a big deal of it, as if I am a cruel and mean parent?

why

Answer 1

Why go halfway? Tell your little girl about the fictitious god-man that you love and believe in. Tell her the truth, that you have no proof, but you have faith. If you dare.

Snide comment inserted as requested.

Answer 2

I think Santa is a fun tradition, whether you truly believe or just play the game. I don't see what difference it makes. It's nice for kids to live in reality, but then again they are just kids.

I say whatever works for you and your family.

I never understood the feelings of betrayal that some kids have when they find out Santa isn't real, though. I always thought it was just a fun tradition. It was still really fun.

As for Jesus, well, that's something your children will have to make their own decisions about anyway. If it doesn't ultimately make sense to them, then it doesn't. Isn't that all a part of "free will"?

Answer 3

What you done was not wrong nor was it right. You aren't abusing your child and you didn't do it to be mean. For me, I enjoy letting my children believe in Santa. Now with that comes the responsibility of being a parent and ensuring they know the difference between Santa and Jesus. I don't look at it as lying, but playing a fun game with the kids. I had one of those bad childhoods and never got much for Christmas and was forced to not believe in Santa. Now I'm doing well for myself and for my family and just love watching them get excited over the whole thing. My oldest found out last year there was no Santa and isn't upset with me that I "lied" to her. As a matter of fact, she now knows all I've done for her in the name of Santa and has thanked me with a great big hug. She does know who Jesus is and wasn't even worried that they were the same. Don't worry about what other people think or say. It's not their child.

Answer 4

I don't see any problem with that. For a three year old, especially, they have such vivid imaginations that make-believe things can be just as much fun as real things. When my daughter was 3 she had a make-believe pony that jumped off a carosell and followed her around. Sometimes it got really tiny and hid under a freckel on her cheek. She knew it was make-believe but it was still fun. We never told her that Santa was real but the way I handled it was that when she asked if Santa was real, I just asked her what she thought. Her answer changed all the time. It never seemed to bother her.

Answer 5

i tell my daughter the same thing i tell here that santa is just a man in a suit and thats it i dont want her to think that christmas is all about santa bringing gifts! thats just men tradition and i dont see no point of it and why to follow it! plus i dont want to be lieing to her why tell her its real than later on she finds out might as well tell her when she little. my parents always told us that santa was not real and i'm glad they did! just like the easter bunny thats so stupid ppl just see a bunny and eggs and than forget the true meaing of easter! so keep doing what u do she is your daughter so other ppl thoughts do not matter

Answer 6

I can understand your strategy - throw Santa under the bus so she will believe your lies about Jesus... cruel but maybe effective. I am sure you will still buy her love for Jesus with presents and decorations. I just hope you told her not to tell the other kids.

Answer 7

If you want your child to "know" that you are truthful, then you have failed. Santa Claus is synonymous with Love, sharing, truthfulness, kindness, hope, and belief in something greater than oneself.

Your fear of these things is what caused you to trample the tender goodness of your child. It would be much more useful if you were to question your own motives [honest and usually hidden from cognitive discovery] behind your desire to crush the beautiful imagination of your child.

Peace

Answer 8

you don't necessarily have to be cruel just to be devoid of letting a child be a child. Make sure you let her know that at any time she could be kidnapped (that's not a make believe thing) tell her there are no monsters in the closet, but someone might sneak in a grab in her sleep (that's not make believe) tell her that there is no guarantee that she will not get hit by a drunk driver when she goes out to play.... make sure she is aware of ALL the reality in the world.

Answer 9

I agree with you completely i feel the same way you do about this. and people may not understand but they should keep commits to there self God will be the judge in the end i don't think it is wrong for people to tell there kids there is a Santa and etc.

raise you child they way you feel is best

Answer 10

Let kids be kids, they are only young for a short time and if they want to believe in santa..let them, there is nothing wrong with believing....but also tell them the meaning of christmas and about baby jesus.