How to applease unhappy muslim neighbour.?

Question

My next door neighbour just moved in. Last week my sister had an underwear party while our parents were in London. I was out then, I arrived home early in the morning to find almost naked people lying all over our house front porch with beer bottled lying everywhere. Apparently that applied to my neighbours front porch too. The muslim neighbour was very upset. I apologised to them, though they stomped of in a rage. At night we had roasted pork noodles bought from the chinese restraunt. I knew that my muslim neighbour had not reached home yet but they had a few young teenage childern at home. So I offered to buy food for them. Unknowly I did not know they could not eat pork. And thus again they were outraged. I really hope to get on better terms with my neighbour, my parents will be returning home soon! I don't want them to know anything. They seem to not want to even look at me and say that I discriminate, also they call my sister unmodest.

Answer 1

tell your sister to grow up and make sure her partys dont involve the neighbors porch. i think its too bad that you don't know anything about their customs so you keep screwing it up. look into their background and offer peace in a way they would like it to be kept. and your sister probably isn't very modest - and obviously your parents wouldnt have wanted her having a PANTY party in their house, or she wouldnt have waited for them to go out of town.. if someone let drunk as* half naked people pass out on my porch i'd put my foot in their as*.. seriously. so your sister needs to be responsible for her actions, and SHE needs to do the appologizing not you, but since you tried to get them to eat pork you should look into doing something NICE for them, especially if you dont want your rentals finding out. you should probably appologize for being ignorant to their customs and calm the parents are out of town mantality down.

Answer 2

Well, your sister IS a bit "out there", if she's got half-naked people lying all over the neighborhood after an "underwear party"! Good lord! They do deserve an apology, since the party spilled over onto their property.

The bit with the pork noodles is an accident -- you can't be expected to be familiar with the dietary laws of a religion of which you are not a member. I'd buy a lovely bouquet of flowers, wear a modest outfit, and go next door and apologize for getting off on the wrong foot. Just tell them, "I'm so sorry, I've never known anyone who was a practicing Muslim, and I'm not familiar with your dietary laws. It was never my intention to offer your children food that they are not permitted to eat!" (Frankly, if they are young teenagers, they should know what the dietary laws are, anyway, so don't feel TOO bad.)

Good luck!

Answer 3

I believe you need to do some serious reading. Learn more regarding the Muslim faith. You meant well with the children however, the incident with the party had already caused a rift between your home and your neighbour's home.
If I had been your neighbour at the time of your sister's party, I would have called her more than just immodest and I'm not even of the Muslim faith. I don't believe that your parents would have sanctioned such a party. I believe that your sister was being very disrespectful of your parent's home.
Both you and your sister must inform your parents of the goings on in your home during their absence as well as the rift between the neighbours.
You and your sister might try writing a sincere apology to your neighbours. It may not solve the immediate issues but it won't go amiss either.

Answer 4

You should get some background on their beliefs first of all so you do not offend them anymore. ( I thought it was common knowledge they dont eat pork but thats just one example of their culture that you should read or learn about)

I am sorry to say but your sister, from what you have said, is unmodest and they are right to say so. Naked people on their porch I would have been upset too and im not muslim.

I would go to their house, wait to be invited in or ask to come in. And talk with them open and honestly. Saying I dont know much about your culture, I apologize for you making them feel like you were discriminating, because you did not mean that.

Offer them a fruit basket - because who doesnt eat fruit.

Tell them you cannot speak for your sister but you yourself will do your best to be respectful and not cause any more discomfort. When your mom comes back explain to her what happened and im sure she will know what to do. Maybe you can invite them over for a healthy non pork dinner to discuss culture and community or whatever...

Answer 5

Well, you shouldnt have to change your way of life for your neighbors, muslim or not. However, you still should respect your neighbors. If I woke up early to go to work one morning, and my lawn was trashed with a bunch of people passed out in their underwear, i would be upset. Not because of the drunkeness (that i could care less about) but more because of the mess and the lack of respect for my property. I know it was out of your control, but i really hope you cleaned up the mess and didnt leave it for them.

I dont think there is much you can do. Maybe you could pay them a visit (if they will have it...) and try to explain what happened (about the party, and the mess. apologize for the mess, but not the party, unless it was REALLY loud. you shouldnt be sorry for having a party in your own home if you arent disturbing others.), and that you were not aware about the pork thing, and you never would have offered pork had you have known. Maybe you can tell them that this experience has inspired you to learn more about their culture and try to be more aware of things in the future. Thats about all you can do. Good luck!

Answer 6

First of all, I think that any neighbor would be upset with what you sister did. Your sister sound immature and irresponsible and she should be the one trying to make amends for her actions. Your neighbors shouldn't have been upset that you offered their kids pork. They can expect people to know everything about their beliefs, and the teenagers know that they aren't allowed pork, so if they ate it, that was their fault.
I don't really see any discrimination on your part, just bad choices. I say...you tried, so leave it be for now and maybe your parents can fix things when they get home. Again, this is mainly your sister's fault and you shouldn't be to blame.

Answer 7

Frankly I would never go out of my way to kiss my neighbor's butt. I don't care what religion you are, what happens in my home in no one's business but mine. I can understand being angry about your sister's party, but they also reserved the right to call the police. Your sister should apologize for letting her party get out of hand. It's rediculous that people on here are telling you do go out and research Islam when you're not interested in converting. You shouldn't have to research your neighbors to get along, they're another religion not another species. If you've apologized just be polite when you see them and let it go. The pork thing was an honest mistake. It's one thing if you show up to their house with a ham and a side of bacon, but it was a mixed dish, how would you have known? Don't live your life trying to kiss up to people like this. They should try to be more sensitive to the fact that not everyone in this world is so religiously uptight.

Answer 8

Oops. I think that you should give them a few days to cool off, and then phone them and apologise, and say you're sorry that things have got off to a bad start. You really didn't know about the pork thing, and you feel quite bad about that. Could they please tell you a bit more about their way of life, so that you don't make such mistakes again? The thing is, you made an honest mistake purely through lack of knowledge, and you want to rectify that and avoid making similar mistakes in future, but you need their help in this. I'm thinking they'll be more open to you in future if you take this tactic.

Refuse to apologise on behalf of your sister, it sounds like they're justified in their opinion of her, if I came home and found almost naked people passed out so visibly after a party, I'd read her the riot act.

Answer 9

WO WO WO....u fed them pork....that was a huge mistake. I'm not sure if you can ever make this better... you got to be careful because they don't really celebrate any holidays nor some don't even except gifts...What you need to do is get prepared for your parents to get the news from the neighbors...what may help you is if you tell you parents as soon as you see them that way it won't be so bad in the long run....try doing some yard work of something for them to make it. excessively apologize to them and tell them you did not mean any harm and ask if there is anything you can do to make it up to them (before your parents come home) if talking doesn't not help...WRITE A NOTE... GOOD LUCK

Answer 10

yeah i can guess that didnt go down well,
1. they cant eat pork (pig is a dirty animal)
2. their holy day is a friday
3. they (if strict) wont drink alcohol
4.they may pray (salat) 5 times a day and need some quiet
5.their views on woman are usually that they shouldn't reveal themselves too much so an underwear party is not a good idea.

hope this helps slightly x