My son is 3.5 and is have a really rough time falling asleep on his own. I typically lay in his bed with him until he's just at the point of sleep and then kiss him good night and leave before he actually falls asleep. However, since the Thanksgiving holiday, he's been unable to do this. The second I begin to get up from the bed, he begins to panic and cry, begging me not to leave.
If I do get up and leave, he becomes semi-hysterical. Closing the door and holding it shut only leads to enrage him to the point where he is banging on the door with both fists, screaming, and waking my daughter across the hall. Going back in and lying down with him causes all the tears to go away almost instantly. I have tried reasoning, bribing him with rewards, and sitting on a chair instead of the bed. None of these work. He won't sleep unless I'm in the bed with him and then the instant I leave, no matter the time of night and how deeply he's asleep, he pops up and the panic begins again.
2007-12-11 01:36:52 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
This is a busy time of year and it sounds like he is sensing that and it's scary to him. Just be patient with him and give him what he needs right now until he can go back to falling asleep on his own. It's common when children are stressed for them to regress a little bit. Good Luck!
2007-12-11 01:45:18 · answer #1 · answered by Sonja 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel I went through this for good period of time and some nights I still go through it....My thing is I lay in my bed with my son and we watch TV something that I like because if we put something on he likes he gets to wound up....I do make an exception when the XMAS cartoons come on.....I take him up around 7-7:30 and we just watch TV most of the time its the food network.......He goes right out and i pick him up and bring him into his room and he sleeps the entire night...Most books or parenting websites will tell you to keep the child in their bed and you sit on the floor far enough away so the child can not touch you...They say to read a book or sing but make sure the kid stays in the bed....every night you move further away from the child and eventually they get use to the idea of a parent not being in the room for them to go to sleep...I have tried this and for me I ran out of patients....For the most part my 3.5 year old goes to sleep on his own but watching TV with daddy has now become away we spend time together rather then a tool to get him to sleep..... Also my son's are in day care so they play alot all day and run around to get there energy out...the 3.5 doesnt nap and that is why i usually dont have any problems getting him to sleep also he doesnt have any sugar or any foods that have the red dye or any dye in it that also affected his sleeping habits...Best of luck you can look up the red dye just google red 40 and read....
2007-12-11 02:45:53 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Take it steps and don't give in to the hysterics.
First night. Sit by his bed and put his hand on his back. Don't make eye contact and don't say anything but "You're okay, go to sleep." He will rage and fit but don't give in.
Then when that seems to be okay, move to sitting next to him but not touching him.
Then move closer to the door, then outside the door, you get the hint.
I also found a star chart was helpful. Once my daughter earned enough stars for going to sleep on her own without a fuss, we would go to the store and pick out a new toy. She was the exact same age.
Stay calm and consistent. Don't hold/lock the door, that only creates fear and panic and creates anxiety that will make bedtime the next night worse.
check out http://www.supernanny.us.com/Advice/-/Parenting-skills/-/Routine-and-teamwork/Solve-your-child%E2%80%99s-sleep-problems.aspx for good advice.
Good Luck
2007-12-11 01:51:18 · answer #3 · answered by apbanpos 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh, gosh, just lay down with him until he falls asleep! Many kids this age still need help falling asleep, and the more you push him to go to sleep on his own, the longer you will prolong his neediness and insecurity. Once he settles back down and isn't so worried about being left, you can move to sitting next to him while he falls asleep. When HE is ready, he'll fall asleep on his own. If he's waking up when you leave even if he seems to be deeply asleep, go ahead and sleep with him for a while, or maybe try putting his mattress next to your bed, until he gets past this stage.
2007-12-11 02:25:56 · answer #4 · answered by daa 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
at 3.5 his imagination is probably going crazy lol, and it sounds like he might be afraid of something, ask him why he doesn't sleeping in his own room unless your there... if he can tell you than see how you can fix the problem from there, see if leaving his door cracked would make him feel better or getting him a night light. ask HIM what you can do to make him more comfortable with sleeping on his own like he use to. if he's not afraid of anything and still refused to go to sleep without you, than try making comments about how only big boys can sleep only their own anyway... i know it sounds mean but little kids like being called big kids, and normally be convinced to do things if they think it will make him a big boy
2007-12-11 02:08:56 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you really need to talk to him and figure out the route of why he is so scared to have you leave, and then go from there. It could be as simple as giving him a whistle that he can hang from his bed, and if he gets scared, he can blow it and let him know that you will be right there. Maybe he just needs some extra security right now.
2007-12-11 01:47:43 · answer #6 · answered by amanda 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
plsss give him some time! make sure he doesn't takes a nap during the day, also read him few story books at bed time, sleep with him for few days,maybe he needs u.believe me u'll miss this moments when he'll be a big boy, don't let this moments pass away,njoy! u both will remember this time all your life!
2007-12-11 02:03:45 · answer #7 · answered by tina 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're just going to have to hold out on him.
Is he overtired? What happens when you put him to bed sooner? Have you cut all the fizzy pop and rubbish out of his diet for a few days? What about a new stuffed animal that he has to "train" to sleep nicely?
2007-12-11 03:28:43 · answer #8 · answered by who me? 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
my son did that once in fact he was 3. kids would much rather be with there parents then in their dark room at night me and my husband redecorated his room we rearranged the furniture put cool new pictures up that glows in the dark we put one of those small lava lamps in there and we put those stars that glow in the dark all over his room it appealed to him and because none of the new stuff we put in there worked during the day he liked it at night. but every child is different i hope it works
2007-12-11 01:56:32 · answer #9 · answered by Nish 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you think there's any way something happened to him in his room when he was left there alone at some point? It seems like extreme behavior.
The other thing I can think of is speaking to his pediatrician about his anxiety.
Good luck!
2007-12-11 01:45:51 · answer #10 · answered by Cristina C 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋