OK.. My sister in-law lives with us...She is muslim.NOt that it matters or maybe it does,,,She has lived here for two years now...Her husband and her divorced...She was pregnant at the time,,I helped he threw the labor and delivery and we bought her all the baby stuff she would need,,,threw all theses two years..Well She does nothing to help me out..No cleaning.. Not even sweeping nothing...She keep's her own dishes in her room her own toaster and pans and utencils..and even soap...I have nought her and her child clothes and jewelery..and taken her shopping for things...I just do not understand why she does not even help me out....She does not eat what I cook she prepares her own food..If I buy two gallons of milk she will open the new one before the old one is gone...I am so upset ..She sleeps at differant hours than we do...So I hardley get to see my Niece..And to top it off she will keep her door shut all day long and only come out when she thinks I am not around...
2007-12-10 23:06:11 · 18 answers · asked by getagrip 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
you need to have a family meeting and propose rules that all of you can live with.
2007-12-10 23:09:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Enough is enough right now. Your mistake was in not laying ground rules ahead of time, including a definite date when she would have to move out. Speak to your husband about your concerns. Make a list of the things you would like to change and then tell your sister-in-law that you need to have a family meeting. If necessary, leave a note on her door telling her that her the time of the meeting and that her presence is required. Do not make accusations. Simply state what you need. Like "Since, you are now a permanent member of this household and not a guest, I need your help with the household chores." Perhaps you could make a schedule of who is to do what and when. Her cooking and eating habits most likely have to do with her religion, so try to be accommodating with that. You could also express your desire to be a real family and to spend time doing things together with her and your niece. You and husband should present a united front on all issues.
2007-12-11 07:38:31 · answer #2 · answered by babydoll 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Time for her to move out. Give her a time table, and get her out of your home. If her religion keeps her from working and supporting herself and her child, then she needs to be with another family member who is her religion.
If your husband doesn't agree with this, then you two need to sit down with her and tell her that this isn't healthy for the family she is living with. Its certainly not healthy for the child. Have you considered that she is mentally ill? Stop just accepting this and talk to this woman.
2007-12-11 08:46:53 · answer #3 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is time for her to get a job and a place of her own!! Past time!!! You are not married to your ex sister in law and I know that you want to be able to see your niece but she needs to know what it is to help herself. You need your home back. She does not feel that she needs to help as she stays in her room. She doesn't think that any cleaning is related to her as she isn't making anything dirty. She doesn't realize that dust and floors get that way even without much traffic.
2007-12-11 07:12:42 · answer #4 · answered by Linda S 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is your home, and she is a Sister IN LAW, yes you get 50 stars for being loving and helping her out, but you are not supposed to be stepped on .... Your rules, Your house.....just as if it were your child and you are the parent. No difference. and definately No reason that you should be getting so upset...It's time for you to sit and talk, and be honest.....let it all come out calmly, and honesty will prevail
2007-12-11 07:11:15 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's been long enough. Some ground rules are in order. Tell her by no uncertain terms what is and is not going to be allowed from now on. What will be expected of her etc. If she is a true Muslim she is not acting as one. As'alam alaikum
2007-12-11 07:12:01 · answer #6 · answered by 66stang 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's time for her to move out. Talk with your husband and be united in your stance. Then have a gentle discussion with your sister-in-law - set a realistic date for when she needs to move. You can't just pitch her out, but after two years she ought to be back on her feet enough to live independently.
2007-12-11 07:28:29 · answer #7 · answered by Pam 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me that you two just have different cultures that you aren't understanding. You obviously think that her being muslim is a big deal; it's the first thing you tell us about her. While I admire your generosity, I find it disturbing that you would feel that because you were generous to her, that you feel she owes you because of that. Maybe she doesn't like your cooking, and maybe she doesn't leave her room because she doesn't like you and she wants to avoid confrontation. But the only way to find any of this out is to just talk with her, and to be open minded about your differences.
2007-12-11 07:15:44 · answer #8 · answered by wsguy1983 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
OMG she has to leave. I have had people living with us like that and they had to go!
This is not your problem, there must be some public housing she can get for single mother, call your local council or a Charity and find out before you go crazy!
2007-12-11 07:12:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Does she work?
Help her get assistant,
and a place to live.
2007-12-11 07:17:09 · answer #10 · answered by elliebear 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋