Why does he keep doing this??

Question

I broke up with my BF ages ago and he keeps texting me, phoning me and calling round. He keeps telling me he loves me but he's ok with us being over (I ended the relationship). I have a new BF and ex know's this. He not only text's/phones me he's calling my friends and telling them how much he loves me and asking them about my new BF, they told me they get fed up with him calling them all the time but haven't got the heart to tell him so... should I tell him to leave them alone or just let them sort it out? Should I tell him to leave me alone too?? My BF is getting annoyed with it all and has said he'll have a word, but I don't know if that would stop him. I feel like screaming sometimes!!!

Yasmin, he was at my house day and night, sometimes I need space because I have children and like to spend time alone with them. He made this impossible because every spare minute of the day he was at mine. My kids got fed up with him being here, especially when we had planned to spend an evening together watching dvd's with no interruptions (family night!)
Thank you ALL for your advice, x

Answer 1

You do have to talk to him hon, don't let your new boyfriend get involved because it will do his head in and probably end in a fight. I had a problem like yours, i talked to him and told him that an occasional text or email is ok. you should tell him that he needs to get on with his life and although it will be hard for him, the less contact the easier it becomes. Good luck with it xx

Answer 2

I had an ex just the same. Unfortunatley, it got messy. I personally think you should tell him yourself to leave not only your friends alone (as it was yours and his relationship, and they shouldnt be involved) but to leave you alone to. Tell him you've moved on, and the best he can hope for is your friendship but he's pushing you further away from any relationship with him at all, whether it be friends or romantic. If at all possible, don't allow your current bf to become involved as the ex will feel more of a need to get you back into his life...
He's harrassing you and you shouldn't have to put up with it.
Goodluck!

Answer 3

I know how he feels, its is hard to be dumped for someone else as all you want is answers to the questions of what happened, and hope that the woman you onced loved will be there for you. My ex told me that a text or an email would be ok and that she really wanted to be friends, I can deal with that now but it took time and patients, time will help him as it did with me, but it is for the best. The more you see him the longer it will take and the heart ache will continue for you both. but please be patient with him, as my ex was with me. He needs reassurance every so often and you must be firm, because he doesn't know what else to do, but he will in time get the message.

think of what you have to do, do it over time, and if he did truely love you he will be happy for you in the new relationship, honestly.... but you have to reduce the contact bit by bit.

good luck xx

Answer 4

I had the same thing happen to me! I had to tell him to stop and he still didn't, so I put him in my phone as 'DO NOT ANSWER' and simply ignored him. The calls and texts will drop off, but it might take a while. Sometimes guys just can't seem to get it, even when it is shouted directly at them.

Answer 5

Way too much drama. Just tell your old bf to piss off. Most likely he is young and naive and doesn't even know what love is (not like a whole lot of other people really have a clue though). Just ignore him and tell him to stop texting you (unless you secretly like the attention - perhaps you should explore your psyche).

cheers!

Answer 6

i,d talk to your ex-boyfriend. suggest he find a new gilrfriend.
who knows, maybe one of your friends he bugs, could
do this.i would strongly reccomend your new boyfriend stay
out of this. him having a word with him maybe confrontational.
the two talking to each other may cause things to get worse.
you don,t want a fight. also, you could say you are deeply
flattered he still loves you, but now have a new boyfriend
and obviouly you will not be going back with him.
be kind, gentle and understanding. you can catch more flies
with honey than you can with vinegar. good luck.

Answer 7

Yeah you see this is the classic type of male who dont know what they have until its gone...He is in the past he had his time with you and now he wants you to spend more time on him when it should be spent with your new beau....Tell him to leave you and your friends alone... Its best you do it as you are the reason that he keeps calling them....if he still dont listen, threaten restraining orders and all sorts - I know it sounds harsh but sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind? good luck x

Answer 8

Oh my God I was in the exact same situation with my ex with some differences!!!! I had a heart to heart talk with him, asking him what he wanted so he could pour his heart out...it worked somewhat and he stopped stalking me but still kept texting me but he finally stopped recently...you might want to try this which I didn't try on him: tell him that it makes you SAD that he's doing that...hope it works out =)

Answer 9

Yes you have to tell him to quit calling your friends and to also leave you alone. If your boyfriend did this then it would only escalate although eventually your boyfriend might have to get involved. Your ex really hasn't accepted the fact you moved on so it might get ugly.

Answer 10

I think you should talk to him. There is nothing wrong with talking to him. Tell him that you have no interest in him and he is making everyone mad. Tell him that even if you did not have a boyfriend that you would not go back to him because of the way he is acting now.