Single moms, are you aware of this danger to your children?

Question

"Children living with caretakers other than two biological parents are at greater risk fro child maltreatment." (1)

"Though boyfriends provide only 2% of all non-parental care, 64% of all cases of non-parental child abuse are committed by boyfriends, with 84% occurring in single-parent homes." (2)

"Girls who live with non-natal (stepfather or boyfriend) fathers are at higher risk for sexual abuse than girls living with natal fathers." (3)

1. Erik Erikson, Childhood and Society (New York Norton) p. 259
2. David Popenow, Values and Public Policy (Washington DC Brookings Institute) p. 95
3. James Q Wilson "Culture Incentives and the Underclass" in Values and Public Policy, p. 70-71

Hestia - I don't know, these studies didn't cover adoption. That would be a great topic for research and study though.

Issiah - *curtsy* Evening Sir.

Answer 1

YES>>>I was a single mom of 3 girls
That's y I didn't date while raising my girls.

Answer 2

I think it fair to point out that the rate of child abuse in the U.S. in 2006 was 1.23%. I don't know what percentage of the 1.23% were non-parental abuse, so I cant say how the numbers add up for the 64% of non-parental abuse committed by boyfriends. So although it is a serious problem requiring serious and immediate action, be aware that the chances of it happening to your child are slim. I wouldn't worry too much unless there are other indicators that your boyfriend may have violent tendencies.

Answer 3

Can we ask the basic question first? Do we know, in general, the dangers our children face every second of every day they are not in our eyesight?

I was raised in a two-parent home; we were strict Roman Catholic- the kind that brought their hospital beds into the sanctuary with them. My father worked, and my mother stayed home- with all three of us. One or both of my parents went to every single solitary school function, tee-ball game, gymnastics competition, etc.

Yet, I was abused. An adult from one of the organizations I was involved in.

You also must go further with this question and ask if we know the statistics for children with disabilities (or, people with disabilities in general).

Go further yet, and ask why, knowing all of the statistics that we quote here on Yahoo!, we allow, accept, condone, know that a certain amount of abuse must exist in the world for it to be right.

Keep going, and ask why you (we, all of us) have not walked away from Omelas……
(http://harelbarzilai.org/words/omelas.txt )

In my humble opinion, until we do that, until we walk away and accept no hurt, no pain…until we take a Zero Tolerance for all of it, we (those of us in front of our screens) are just as much to blame; we ask the question, or at least the easy ones, without doing anything about it……

Take the challenge of asking, and see what you can solve- even if it your own little corner of the world.

Thank you for the question.

Answer 4

I guess we can all tell a misandrist's questions when we see one.
What if the boyfriend has his own children? Why did you fail to mention the statistic of the evil step mother beating on the other woman's kids?



Agenda anyone?

There are three kinds of lies,
1.Lies
2. Damn Lies

3. Statistics..

Looks like you've covered the bases in one fell swoop.

Sylvery, looks like we will have to just take YOUR word for all that eh? Your kids will too huh?

I can get a restraining order against a ham sandwich..

Answer 5

Yes, I am aware of these alarming statistics.

I was raised by the step-mother-from-h*ll so I have always known that non-biological parents were capable of heinous acts towards children.

Bonding with the infant is CRUCIAL in keeping the child from becoming a statistic.

Peace.

Answer 6

do no longer permit a majority of those people critcise you. i understand that isn't any longer what you got here right here for. what's completed is achieved. First, tell your mom or yet another kin member who you sense relatively on the fringe of. you need to commence taking prenatal supplementations (get them at Walgreens, grocery, etc...) and get some prenatal care from an OBGYN. Your mom is going to be disillusioned at 1st, yet she is your mom and he or she loves you. She is prob. greater disillusioned good now because of the fact she would be ready to inform your hiding something from her. she would be ready to ultimately recover from it. you go with her help. i might motivate you to have the newborn. in case your no longer waiting to be a mom, then provide it up for adoption. there are such lots of households that may no longer have slightly one and can provide it a great homestead. in case you do prefer to maintain it, then you certainly will do a great pastime, although that's plenty much less annoying with your households help.

Answer 7

I'd keep it simple. If I became single, I'd simply not introduce any potential men to my child until I trusted him 100%, even then it'd be awhile before I subjected my child to any man that isn't her father (because I trust him...100%).

Answer 8

What about children who have been adopted and are living with two non-natal parents?

Answer 9

But what is the total risk/frequency of abuse? Reading your question I almost think all new boyfriends do it or something.

Answer 10

*waves*

All I know for sure is that we need to pray for and support single parents (men and women) in what ever way we can.

I can't imagine trying to do it without my wife. It really takes both of us.

God bless the single parents and may they find rest tonight!