PARENTS...would you let your 13 yeard old daugher wear a bikini?

Question

Our rule thus far has been that only one piece swimsuits are allowed, but she has been bugging us about it a lot lately...any thoughts?

Answer 1

okay i am not a parent but this is what my parents rules were:
full pieces or tankinis. then at 16 i was allowed to start wearing a bikini but it had to be covering and one my mom approved of.

Answer 2

Note that if you describe as a perv any guy who would look at a teenager in a bikini, then you have covered most of the population.

It's probably most important to her that she fits in with her friends and peers, and that the boys she likes don't pass over her to talk to the girl with the hotter swimsuit. She won't be thinking about and she could care less about anybody else looking at her. Probably. I'm just letting you know that her concerns are different to yours.

It's your choice, of course, but you are not going to be able to stop people *looking* at your daughter, no matter what she wears. That's not a power that you have.

Maybe she will try it and be uncomfortable, or decide only to do it around people she knows, such as at pool parties and so on. But in general, don't forbid things unless they are actually important, because your power diminishes with each petty thing that you get upset about.

Teach her self-esteem, the value of friendships and hard work, and education, how to make sure she is always safe and protected. A bikini at the beach, or at the pool? It's a judgment call. Don't just make a kneejerk decision, because she won't respect it.

Answer 3

No. I have stuck to my no tummy rule--my daughter is allowed to wear one-piece or tankini style swimsuits only. She will be 15 next birthday. This is our house rule and will apply as long as she lives under our roof, and when she is visiting/vacationing with us even after that.

Two different conservative Baptist summer camps she has attended have helped us reinforce that rule by putting it in their dress code (they don't even allow tankinis).

She has also been to three different secular aquatic science and marine camps where other girls did wear bikinis, but so far she is enough of her own person to not give in to the peer pressure. She's also been invited to numerous pool parties, and we even had a backyard pool at the house we lived in before this one, so it's not like it's an uncommon thing for her to go swimming.

She respects our wishes, but has even internalized our values I believe, as evidenced by her choice of clothing and her lack of argument about house rules. She is fairly modest even around the house, and we are also pretty picky about what clothes we will let her wear otherwise. (no cleavage showing, no spaghetti straps, no midriffs hanging out, etc.) It is getting harder and harder to find decent clothes for girls nowadays, especially swimsuits!

If more parents would stick to their guns, it would make it easier for the rest of us--I have found that even some the quote "good" parents let this slide way farther than I think is decent and proper just to try to stay friends with their kids.
In some cases, I have also watched some not to great consequences come out of this permissive style of parenting.

I'm sure you will get a lot of opposing responses on here, but you need to do what you feel is right--you are the parent. Don't let her (or yahoo) dictate your house rules!

Answer 4

I'm not a parent...yet. But, when I was 13, I wore bikini's. They were always tasteful and not too revealing. I can understand how these days there is a lack of material in bikini's but every year I am able to find a cute suit that covers everything that needs to be covered. It may take me a little longer, but it can be done. So, I'd say...go look in quite a few stores and make an agreement with your daughter about what it has to cover and who has to agree on it.

Answer 5

There are a lot of cute conservative bikinis out there for 13 year olds. My daughter is now 14 and I allow her to wear bikinis. Nothing with the gaping cleavage line or booty short or brazilian bottom, but something more like boy shorts or something fuller. And when she wears them it's either at my sisters house or at the beach when we go as a family. I don't think anything is wrong with it as long as it's tasteful and doesn't have those sexy cuts.

Answer 6

Hell no she's only 13 too young to be in a bikini shoud'nt wear one until age 16 be a parent first not a friend and stay firm no matter how many friends she says have one those are the parents that don't truly care what there children do because they don't want to be bothered with it because it causes too many problems and friction in the family if we don't give in "tough"

Answer 7

As a general rule, probably not, however there are too many variables involved such as the situation, the girl's maturity (both physical and mental), the type of bikini (how revealing it is) and the parental gut feeling about things overall.

~

Answer 8

NO, too young, bikinis are sexually appealing and 13 is too young to be wanting sexual appeal. I say 18 sounds good. Whatever age you are comfortable and feel is proper for her to be sexy and possibky sexually active, that's the age you should allow her to wear bikinis.

I'm just being direct. People one here are talking about pervs, ur not just talking about older men are you? There will be boys her age interested in sex appeal as well. Forget the boy who she's trying to impress or the other teens who hit puberty early, anything before 16 is way too young to be wearing a bikini, Honestly I think it's lingerie in public, and I don't feel comfotable letting my kids expose that much skin until they are in college.

Answer 9

I'm actually 13 and i say no i don't want to wear bikinis until i'm 16

Answer 10

I think its better if you tell her she can't until she is older. There is no real reason to wear a bikini, especially at that age since it exposes more skin to the sun and would leave her more vunerable to sunburn and skin cancer, and as everyone else put it; perv's.