Urgent please answer!!!!?

Question

Me and my mom argue all the time, starting when i was in 6th grade. Sometimes are relationship is great, and then again it can be extremly bad. We have went to counsleing, but that didnt work, noting does. The last argument we had was really bad, she told me she hated me, and i told her i hated her back, and now we dont even speak, its only been a couple days but it is still very akward. This is suffering with my school work because im always in my room, listening to music just trying to avoid her (am i just making excuses)???. I feel like i have no one, family is supposed to be the ones who will always be there, but i dont really have that. Im thinking about staying with my cousin for while, just untill things cool of??. Should i stay home and try to work stuff out, or just get away for a while?????

Answer 1

Sounds like your mother is not very mature. Yes, staying at your cousin's house might be a good idea.

Answer 2

Not sure how old you are.
That is something that happened with my mother and I. We just did not get along when I was growing up. I am 24 now and we have a great relationship. I just needed to get out of the house and do some growing up. So that's what I did, when I graduated HS, went on to college and now she and I are living in Taiwan together and have really bonded.
You may want to stick it out until you graduate but if your grades are suffering this could effect your future. If your cousin does not mind, nor your mother, and your cousin is a good influence then maybe that is something you should consider. You do not want things to get to a point where they are unrepairable.
I have seen mother daughter relationships take years to recover and you do not want that.
It is hard for women to be under the same roof too long, we are too strong willed sometimes.
I really hope things work out.
I posted a link to a thread that may be of some help to you.

Answer 3

There seems to be immaturity on both sides. Parents have always looked out for the best in their children, and perhaps she may or may not be doing that in your eyes, but think back to when you were a Child, she probably dotted on you and in some ways she hopes for the best in you. Perhaps she sees somethings that remind her of actions some friends close to her took and went the wrong way. Its all about Love, and sometimes its the most misunderstood thing of all. Give her a Call and tell her you Miss her, have coffee together and pour out your concerns to her. Above all else let her know that you love her Dearly. That's a start, a little step and it goes a long way to Meaning a Lot. Hope all turns out well.

Answer 4

I'm not sure! A couple of days is a loooong time! Too long. Make the decision to stay or visit WITH HER; that's the best solution I can come up with...and of course, then you will need to be the one to initiate the conversation.

Part of what needs to happen is that you both revisit the argument eventually, because it sounds like it was a really big issue for someone.

Answer 5

My Mom used to be like this honey, it is not your fault, she is mentally ill.

Don tell her you hate her when you get upset, the last thing you want is to end up like her.

She is your role model for exactly the kind of parent you do not want to be.

Go stay with the cousin , you need some nurturing.

The good news is , you will grow up and move on with your life.

You have your youth, so don't waste it being unhappy.

You could look into counseling thought he state if you cannot afford it, you have a PC so research support groups and counselors in your area .

There are a lot of good people out there who can give you the love and support that your mom is not giving and don't look for it through sex.

Answer 6

what on earth could possess your mum to tell you she hates you?...no parent can hate their child and allow you to remain under their roof and continue disrespecting her...unless i'm mistaken and you actually pay the rent?..

hmmmmm....now then yourve given us your side of it how about giving us your mothers side...can you do that?...do you really believe she hates you? DO YOU?!! DID SHE ACTUALLY SAY IT?!! or did the words she use make you feel that way? You wanna share with us what you said to her for her to lose it like you say she did.

Does she let you eat breakfast before going to school?...does she give you lunch money?...transport you? allow you the use of electricity while your in your bedroom? has she ripped up all the clothes that she bought you?...allow you to eat dinner?...use her soap when you use her hot water to have a shower? has she stop paying for your school fees? Do you have siblings she also needs to take care of? and maybe need your help with?

Soundz to me like youve been giving your mother a hard time since 6th grade. SHE LOVES YOU. she is hurting more than you but she doesnt know how to handle you...give her a break...or are you trying to give her a nervous breakdown?

Honey..if you truelly believe she hates you then you are not safe with her...so get out and stay out. if your exaggerating the situation be a loving daughter go to her and put your arms around her and hold her tightly and say "i love you mum, i'm sorry"...it only takes a minute...go on i dare you...then come back and let us know how it went...ok

It really bloody upsets me that people actually advise you to leave your mother...if you really wanna stab her in the heart, kiddo - well then yes go ahead and leave her. that should do the trick just fine

give your mum a break kid go give her a cuddle...she may not understand you but she certainly does love you....if there's only the two of you in your immediate family...you seriously need to let her be your mother instead of you trying to tell her how to mother you.... honey... stop making excuses.....your mum misses your company too

but what the heck do i know?...i only have a teenage son....and over 40 nieces and nephews...half of which are teenagers!..

Answer 7

May be u were too attached to your mother when u were young. This is the other side of love but with lot of expectations from both towards each other. Both seems to be possesive.

Combinedly make a decision not to talk to each other for a month & then see if ur condition improves.

Answer 8

I had a relationship like that with my mother... it's not easy when you don't get along with a parent... When the I hate you's get around it hangs in you.... when my son was about 4 he said the I hate you to me... I said you have the right to hate me if that's how you feel, but you either love someone or you hate someone... we do get angry at the people we love, but anger isn't hate... he thought about it for a while and said I love you but i'm angry... learning to express how you feel is the beginning of changing how you behave....

Answer 9

Yeah when you have the chance get out, moms like that don't really know much or think of what comes out of their mouths..once you leave for awhile she'll probably come to her senses just don't hold anything against her it'll just stress you out more. Let that motivate you to make your own life and move on.

Answer 10

Sounds to me that you both are very stubborn women, You need to tell your mom you are sorry, or she needs to do that first, either way, this is no way for a mom and daughter to act, I am sure you both are very hurt over these actions. go to her and just put your arms around her and give her a hug, that will be enough to give her the courage to break down and talk to you too, you both need to have a very long heart to heart talk, remember, family is for always.