strippers at bachelor parties?...your opinion appreciated.?

Question

Even though my fiance and I don't plan on getting married until I graduate college in 2010, I've still been really thinking about the whole bachelor party thing and him having a stripper there. I really don't know how to feel about it. I don't like the idea of some naked woman shakin her sh^t all up in front of him, and I don't really want him to touch her or vice versa. Idk...what are your opinions on this? I want to be okay with it, but I just can't seem to bring myself to do so...

maybe if i had a stripper at my bachelorette party that might make me feel a little better about him having one at his lol =]]

Answer 1

To be honest, this is not really nearly as common as it used to be. More guys are now going out with the boys and doing things like camping trips, fishing/hunting trips, a night of pool and pizza, or a sporting event. Some couples even have joint bachelor/bachelorette parties (this may or may not be a good idea depending on the couple).

I know it's "trendy" to go to strip clubs with your man, but it's OK to not want to pretend that you're cool with another woman getting naked in front of the man you are marrying.

While I'm overall a pretty laid back person who is rarely jealous, I can clearly see why someone would be upset that the man they are about to marry and have children with is about to see another woman's parts reserved for her gynocologist.

I mean, I'm all in awe of gorgeous women too any other time, but tying a stripper into a bachelor party just seems disrespectful of the vows you are about to take.

That said, in the vast majority of cases, if your man DOES happen to go the stripper route, generally it is a "harmless" night of fun and nothing actually goes on provided they don't hire an escort instead of a stripper. In any "classy" strip clubs, there is no touching, or you will be removed.

But if you have a problem with this (as many would, although not all), then it is YOUR job to speak up and say that you do not want strippers, and that he should respect your wishes. Most good guys will, and frankly, if he won't why would you marry him?

Answer 2

Tell him how you feel. My fiance isn't having a bachelor party, let alone one with a stripper. It's not necessary and it's actually a form of cheating even if they don't have sex. It's mental and emotional cheating. If he doesn't see a problem with it by the time the party happens, then you should consider, is he really the one for you? If he's okay with having a stripper even after promising to marry you and be your husband until death, what does this say about him? He's committed to you but watching another naked woman and he thinks it's okay. That's not a good sign. And don't have a stripper at your bachelorette party thinking it'll make it even. That's just worse. That's both of you cheating and you'll probably be worried about him the whole time. When you're about to get married don't you want to be with him instead of separately watching others take their clothes off? I think if people so strongly feel that they need a party in order to enjoy those last days of being unmarried then they need to think about whether or not they're ready to be married. I can understand if you want to spend time with friends out to dinner, a movie or if guys want to get together and go to a game, but other than that I think it can get really inappropriate really fast.

Answer 3

Better reality check...strippers are for people of low class and no morals. What does ogling strippers have to do with celebrating an upcoming marriage?

It may be his party, but he can most certainly tell his friends "no strippers". If they are any kind of friends they will respect his wishes. I am assuming the people involoved are all adults.

The most important thing is he respects your wishes. If it makes you uncomfortable, talk to him about it. Any kind of man will certainly choose his bride to be over some sleazy stripper.

The last thing you want at your bachelorette party is a stripper for yourself. It is such a stupid cliche to hire one. Holdyour head high and have class...strippers are disgusting.

Answer 4

Reality check... Strippers are no big deal, it's just boy fun.
Hookers on the other hand. Now that's where to draw the line.

And yes! You can have strippers if you wish. Who cares. Naked Boys Singing is a great show if there's a production anywhere near you.

You know the old "Don't do anything I wouldn't do." Try flipping the script. "Don't worry, I won't do anything you wouldn't do." If he's a good guy he'll be fine. If he's thinking of being naughty those words will make him limp.

Answer 5

I think that is just a disaster waiting to happen. Because there are always the "what ifs" What if he cheated, what is he touched her etc etc. Ive had a few friends who broke off the engagement, the wedding, even the night before bc of things like these. Alcohol can cause you to make foolish decisions.. I'd say that if you cant bring yourself to be ok with it, then its probably not a good idea. Would you get jealous? a little? bc I know I would, and I know that I am by far the prettiest girl my fiance has ever been with, but its just knowing that hes looking at naked girl in person. It just doesnt seem right to me. I amdefinitely not the jealous type either, but this scenario would just hit a nerve. xoxo.

Answer 6

I'm not keen on the idea really either as I do have a "jealous streak", however, this all comes down to trust, do you trust him not to touch? Do you trust him not to go further than watching? You and him should set boundaries and say "It's fine to look, but no touching" etc.. (whatever suits you two) and agree to stick to it. You may well find he has other ideas anyway, my husband went paint balling with all his mates, he never even considered a stripper as it's just not what he enjoys, so thankfully we didn't have an issue there really.

Answer 7

In my personal and honest opinion, strippers at bachelor/ette parties are tasteless, classless, pointless, and contradictory. What I mean by that last one is this: you've promised to spend the rest of your life with someone and you celebrate by having SOMEONE ELSE take off their clothes and dance all over you? WTF?!? It makes no sense to me at all. The way I look at it, if you're engaged and you want to see a stripper, put on some music and have your fiance' go at it. You want to see someone who isn't your fiance? Tough nuggets! You had plenty of time to do that while you were single. (BTW, these "you"s aren't directed at you =D. It just helps explain my point)

Answer 8

Your fiance's buddies cannot "force" him to have a stripper at his bachelor party. However, if he or they intend for him to have a stripper, what's good for the gander is good for the goose, and you have one, too, girl!

Alternatively, you, you fiance, and all of both of your friends can go to the nearest strip club that has a "his and hers" night, and everybody can get their fill of eye candy all at once, and keep an eye on each other. A place where I used to work did this for their Christmas party. It was an eye-opening experience!

Answer 9

this seems like a really weird thing to be concerned with so far away from the wedding. is there something else going on? do you trust him? does he respect you? are you really ready for marriage? or even engagement, for that matter?

for what it's worth, my husband didn't have any strippers at his party (he didn't want any). but my friends and I went to see exotic dancers at my party, and they did "shake their stuff" and rub up on me. it was all in good fun, but I think male strip clubs vs. an exotic dance show at a nightclub are different. and my husband had no problem with it.

I think the fact that you are worried about this at all, esp so early, is a sign of something else bothering you.

Answer 10

My husband went to a strip club for his bach. party. I didn't care because I trust him 100%. Normally the guys are not allowed to touch the strippers, so I wouldn't be to worried about that. I guess it really depends on if you trust him or not. If you don't then be worried. Either way you should be honest with him about how you feel.