What do you do when your friends just care about sex?

Question

I'm 25. I've been trying to get close with God.....reading the bible etc... but all the people around me just have sex with men. i'm starting to feel left out. My friend told me "a girl needs to get theirs" and 'there's no man that will wait for sex". Its been about 5 months for me. I know in the bible it says no sex before marriage. but i promise you- all my friends are doing it. And they end up living with their boyfriends. I feel so left out. but I don't want to go against Gods word. Am I wrong for warning my friends that this is wrong? What TO DO?

Answer 1

You have to realize many of those rules were written for times very different than today. Back then girls were married at 15. Waiting until you were 15 to have sex is no problem.

Applying that rule today means waiting well into your 20s (in my case, I was married at age 29). Waiting that long to have sex is just not practical. They are old enough to understand the benefits and risks. (I for one would not want to miss out on 10 years of sex to satisfy some archaic rule)

You do what you think is right for yourself and your body. Just realize that at your age, people are old enough to make their own decisions.

Answer 2

OK, you have warned your friends, now set a godly example for them. It sounds like you think your friends are smarter than God. Obey the Lord, and sit back and watch your friends destroy their lives by going from one relationship to another, getting pregnant, contracting std's, along with the shame and disgrace that will come sooner or later. They are not good friends if they are leading you to do wrong. Your friends are not going in the same direction as you are, they are headed for destruction and loving it. Is that what you really want? You will be the very one to get messed up and they will laugh at you, talk bad about you and then desert you. It happens all the time. BTW, you did not say if you are a Christian or not, but if you are then know this, you cannot and you will not be able to follow the crowd and walk with the Lord. There are going to be times when you will be alone and will have to stand alone, but the Lord will be with you.Either God is going to direct your life or your friends are.

Answer 3

I thought I would wait until I was married, but I didn't. I'm 27, and my sex drive has dropped dramatically, and I regret not having sex earlier; it's really the greatest experience you could have. The bible was written thousands of years ago when people would marry very young, but the world has changed dramatically since that time, and life doesn't always turn out how you think it should. I think that committing yourself to one person is really what's important, even if you don't have a ceremony to make it official. It's also my belief that there is no perfect person for me, and I've got to choose the best one and make a relationship work. You're not 17; you're 25; it's time to live your life.

Answer 4

Consider this - all the major religions in the world frown down on sb4m for solid reasons. God created sex way back in the beginning to be a powerful bond between one man and one woman in marriage. Do you steadily follow the wisdom of God, or do you chase after the world lies dished out to you through peer pressure, magazines, and TV shows? Needless to say turn their backs on God and glorify the sin? Does not sound right. Don't you think your body and long term self-esteem is the more precious gift Jesus gave you at birth?

And now I need to get mundane about your friends pressuring you, I have to say this. Leave it their business. Sex is a mind-altering drug that makes you do irrational things and it impairs your ability to make sound decisions.

I have heard close friends talk about the sexual sins they have committed. In a nutshell it severely weakens the bond of marriage and children suffer the most from the contentious atmosphere in a marriage where the bed is not pure - it only creates demons in a marriage. And when people describe it on the surface, it sounds like 'she nags me about every dime I spend' or 'no fair, why am I always the bad person' or 'their expectations of me are too high' or 'they treat me badly but I tolerate it.' The underlying issue is that the most fundamental adhesive that brings a man & woman together in marriage is tainted and from that comes a slew of other resentments that hang in the background and the source of resentment is not always obvious.

If you ask just anyone they will not likely tell you all that is going on spiritually in a marriage like such. Mostly because of the idea "well that's not the way the media said my marriage would turn out, sex outside of marriage should come with no strings attached." Be careful because both the beauty of true love and ramifications of sexual sin are something that is very intimate/private and kept behind closed doors. It is something that nobody cares to talk about; people are generally ignorant about it; when consequences come in real life they still don't explain it because it is not 'cool' to see on TV or it is too sensitive to talk about in a group gathering; and yet general ignorance pulls more people into the web of world lies. The truth is that sexual feelings are extremely powerful and it shakes you to your core being. You won't know what you feel until you are on the spot.

So obey God's word and honor Him. His love for you and his protection of your virtue and your soul is written all over the bible. And most of all stick to people who believe what you believe and support each other. And if you have time, listen to the deepest most intimate details of those who have sinned. Love between man and woman is conditional to say the least however God forgives.

Answer 5

You are doing the right thing by warning them . That is part of your job as a christian; but once you have warned them, then it is left up to them to do the right thing. I wouldn't say to go and turn your back on your friends; but I would consider making new friends with ones that share the same values and beliefs as you do. That will help keep you from being so tempted to do the same things they are doing. Which are obviously wrong. They may make it look and sound like it is all fun and eveything; but a time is coming for each one of them where they will be held accountable for there foolish actions. I really think you already know what you should do, it is a matter of taking the steps in the right directions for you is all. Don't give up on yourself, you are to important and deserving. Keep on keepin' on!

Answer 6

You have to understand that people do what is best for them and not always what is considered "right" by the Bible. Just because everyone is doing a certain thing doesnt mean you need to do it too. You do what feels right in your heart, if you believe sex before marriage is very bad than refrain from having sex. There is men out there that will wait for you and truly care about you.

Answer 7

Kay, God and I are proud of you and commend you for your intelligence in knowing that you are right and that your friends are wrong in their attitude towards sex before marriage. Don't fall for the false sales pitch of a immoral society. The only way a girl can test a man's true love for her is if he will wait with her to have sex after marriage. You wouldn't follow your friends if they were jumping off a cliff would you? So don't follow them down this path of destruction either. Be the one to set the example for them. You will be glad you did in the long run. God and I wish that all girls were as smart as you.

Answer 8

Honestly... back when that scripture was written, people hit puberty on average at like 15 years old and were married at 16. These days people hit puberty at 11 and 12 and don't get married till like 24 or 26. It's a much taller order to remain abstinent. Also with advancements in birth control like "the pill" I don't really see the point in refraining from a desire which is so naturally prominent and strong in humanity.

I think the modern equivalent to a similar amount of abstinence would simply be taking your relationships slowly.

Answer 9

People are able to make their own judgments. It's not your place to tell someone if sex before marriage is right or wrong. If your friends are sleeping around with all kinds of people and not being responsible such as protection then that's very different than having sex with someone you're dating and truly care about...then maybe talk to them about their actions. I personally see nothing wrong with premartial sex if you care about that person and are in a healthy relationship. That's my my opinion though. Relax and live and let live!!

Answer 10

First of all realize that it isn't a mortal sin to have sex; the world isn't going to come to an end, in fact you just might enjoy it. But don't let yourself get pressured into doing something you don't feel like doing.

Secondly, don't worry or concern yourself with what other people. You really should stop trying to lay guilt trips on your friends for what they are doing in their own romantic relationships, its not healthy for your friendship. Live and let live.