a homeless guy came up to my car and asked for money i turned him down and now i feel guilty?

Question

he was spanish.

he came up to me while i was reading waiting for my mom. my sister said loudly "sarah! look!" she pointed to the window a man in plaid was there he was knocking on the window to roll it down. since the car was turned off i couldn't so i opened the door open a peek. it was an automatic response. so then he gave me a piece of paper it said

"hello

my name is joe
i am deaf
please give me money so i can buy food and drink

i flipped it over and it was translated in spanish. i opened the car again and returned the note. it was really hard to breathe cause he was smoking weed at the time.

he was picking at 4 quarters. i shook my head and said i couldn't give him anyhing. he walking away.
now my mom is perinod. i'm 12.
i feel guilty i didnt give him something.

how can i feel better about this? i feel like a mean person.

Answer 1

Do NOT EVER open your door or window to a stranger.
Don't give them anything.
You could have been killed.
Pretend you can't hear or something.
Geesh you are crazy, girl!!!!!!!

Answer 2

I don't think you should feel guilty. If he was smoking weed then he probably would have used any money you gave him to get more.

I used to live near an area where a lot of homeless people would sleep. They would ask me for money all the time, but my response was always "I'm sorry, I don't have any money but I live close by. If you'd like, I could get you some food." I think in the year I lived there, probably 30 people asked me for money, but only 1 ever accepted the offer for food.

Try to think of it this way... Giving money to a man who is doing drugs is probably worse for him than not giving it to him because he likely would not use it for food and water.

Answer 3

Nothing to feel guilty for -- you already know what he wanted that $$ for. As others have said, you should have never opened the door of your car.

You don't earn money of your own yet so you don't get to decide whether the money your mom gives you should be given to a homeless person, thrown down the sewer or whatever. That person shouldn't have been asking for money from kids. And you shouldn't feel like a mean person because people such as your parents WORK hard for that money. I personally don't give my money to beggars -- as others have said, if they're really hungry you can buy them food or offer them a job so they can EARN that money, not just get it for free. That's not the way you get things in life, you have to work for them. Think of this, and when you're grown and earn your own money you'll see it doesn't feel good to give it to someone who's gonna give it a bad use and who isn't working their butt off such as you are to earn it!!! Not fair!

Answer 4

Don't feel bad, it's not your responsibility to feed the homeless and give them money, you are 12 years old. Most of those people are con artists anyway, looking for free money for drugs and booze. BTW, you should have NEVER, EVER opened the car door. He was a stranger, you did not know him or his intentions. Some very bad things could have happened. I would advise you to be more cautious around people you do not know. Your parents should have taught you that.

Answer 5

When I was young I wanted to do all kinds of fantastic ideas for the poor...then I grew up and learned about human nature. I find beggars a particularly difficult situation to deal with. I think it is fine to give them a blanket, clothing, or food but I will no longer give money. If you can't shake the guilty feeling(even though you aren't guilty of being mean) you could make sure to make an extra donation to a cause or work at a shelter in the near future.

Answer 6

Don't feel bad about not giving him money. He probably would have spent it on more drugs. If he really needs something he can go to a homeless shelter.

Something else, don't ever open a car door to a stranger. This time you didn't get hurt--next time you might not be so lucky.

Answer 7

I give at shelters, sometimes other venues. I never give money on the street - strict policy.

Recently, I was hit up in a parking lot for a grocery store near work on my way home. Happened before, but I always say that I never give money on the street. He said, "I don't need no money - I need food!" I went in with him and we shopped for bread, meat and other basics and a couple of special treats. Then I paid for it. It was a refreshing and enriching experience for me, and I think for him.

Usually, when I offer to buy food, take them to lunch or offer to buy them lunch, they aren't interested. Sometimes they are hostile about it. They want the money for alcohol, drugs, smokes or crap food like $4 sacks of chips and cokes. I'm not interested in supporting that - they can get it from someone else.

Answer 8

yeah i often feel the same way when that happens. but they could go to a homeless shelter if they wanted to. And also they would probably just spend it on drugs or alcohol. Just donate some money to st. Jude or another place where u no your money will be doing some good.

Answer 9

Don't feel guilty. He would use the money for drugs or alcohol. The best way to help homeless people is to give to charity. The next time you see a Salvation Army worker, give him some money.

Answer 10

i don't think you should feel bad about it. there are lots of people who treat homeless people worse than that. i've never given money to them. you can't trust them or what they'll end up using it for. if you have food, that's not a bad idea to give them that. i was approached by a homeless man one time and i gave him the box of ramen that i had in my car. he was thankful for it. but i would be more hesitant about money. there are alot of druggies on the street.

eta: it's definitely not a good idea to open a door for someone you don't know. anything could have happened.