I have been dating this guy for about a month, we have been intimate already. He does not know that one of the clauses of my divorce stipulates that my ex is to live in my house. We divorce a year ago and have a 11 YO girl. I work full time and got to school part time. It has been of great help to have the ex in the house to take care of the kid, also he pays rent for his room so that’s a plus. The ex & I obviously get along well, but there is NOTHING else going on (he’s 20 years older than me). I have been thinking about showing my BF the clause in my divorce & explain from there… Is this a good idea? How would you solve this situation? I’m not kicking out the ex, as a single mom I need his help & the rent $$.
2007-12-10 15:02:48 · 9 answers · asked by Bri 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
In any romantic relationship, communication, honesty, and openness are very important. Therefore, I applaud you for making a decision to be honest with your BF.
The only way to break the news to your boyfriend is to be calm and composed about it. Get him to sit with you in a calm, neutral environment, like a restaurant. This will ensure that he does not over react and maybe hurt you in the process (intentionally or unintentionally).
Tell him that you want to be honest and tell him about your situation. Tell him that you and your ex husband are still living in the same place because of financial situation and divorce clause. Tell him that the only way you can move out is when you can support yourself or when you can find a new partner.
Don't say there is nothing between you and your ex husband if he doesn't ask. Give him a chance to trust you first.
2007-12-10 15:27:41 · answer #1 · answered by sir_b_man 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
An honest person would have made mention of this right from the start, thus giving the guy a chance to say, thanks, but no thanks! I mean get real....your ex living with you and you expect some guy to accept this bull crap and carry on a relationship with you? I do not hardly think so! What would be the same thing is him telling you...oh that's OK, I have an ex-wife that lives with me who is a documented nympho manic, but do not sweat the details of what I must do with and for her on a daily basis to keep her satisfied in between seeing you!
2007-12-10 23:35:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him the truth about the situation as soon as possible. The longer you put it off, the more he'll question what you had to hide. If he can't deal with it that's not your problem. Just explain it like you did then.
2007-12-10 23:07:13 · answer #3 · answered by Lee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just sit him down and tell him that you have a confession....tell him about the clause and about your past and present relationship with your ex....i personally think showing him the clause would be over kill
2007-12-10 23:11:17 · answer #4 · answered by corkydw89 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him as soon as possible!!! It would cause more problems if he finds out somehow or brings it up first. Tell him you need to talk and just explain the situation. If you're upfront it shows that you have nothing to hide and he has nothing to worry about.
2007-12-10 23:10:30 · answer #5 · answered by ftwizz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, what an odd situation and a full house. I say be honest with your boyfriend and let him decide what to do.
2007-12-10 23:09:59 · answer #6 · answered by m k 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its a good idea, show him the clause and hope he is happy
2007-12-10 23:08:05 · answer #7 · answered by sunny 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you agreed to the divorce, you agreed to have sex. you did not fully disclose your living arrangement. tell him.
if he moves on, call me...LOL..... i don't care about the ex...
2007-12-10 23:12:20 · answer #8 · answered by councilmanward1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh!?
you mean your f buddy?
cool!!
2007-12-10 23:08:06 · answer #9 · answered by alamoblue2003 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋