I was molested ten years ago, should I tell my counselor about this?

Question

i was molested when i was 9 by a relative of my father. i've been hiding it for so long. i did not seek for help right away, i thought i could forget about being molested and move on. but i was wrong. i often get flashbacks about being sexually abused as a child. i feel so ashamed and filthy. i want to talk to my counselor to see what advice she can give. i'm afraid that she would report it. it happened ten years ago before i came to america, do you think my counselor would tell the police about this?

Answer 1

Please do tell your counselor, they will be able to help you far more if they know what is at the root cause of your problems. I can only answer this questions based on my own experiences. Like you I didn't tell anyone about the abuse I suffered until years after wards. When I finally did the Dr's etc I spoke to where quite honest with me. They said it was up to me if I wanted to go to the police etc but that because of how much time had passed and lack of evidence it was unlikely that anything would come of it. The best I could hope would that be by reporting them now, if someone else had also reported them then it might help them. I am fairly certain that they are not allowed to go to the police without your permission so don't worry about that. You need to do what is right for you, and that means telling someone about what was done to you so that the healing can begin. If you do decide, at any point, that you feel able to go to the police, in my experience they are very supportive and friendly and take good care of you while they are interviewing you etc.

Answer 2

The only time a counselor would report that is if you were a minor. This happened 10 years ago and you are now over 18, I suspect it's up to you to report it, as you should do. Why? This child molester will/has hurt others, don't think you are the only one. Help save another child.

You cannot forget about things like this, it's very good you are in counseling to get help. It was not your fault, you did nothing wrong, you were an innocent child. So being ashamed and feeling filthy are two things you need to work on, he should be feeling that way for what he did to you.

Stay in counseling, get the help you need to move on and be free from this. Good luck.

Answer 3

Tell your counselor, and arrange a letter to the Embassy, or Consulate of that country, naming the abuser, so that they may be entered in a computer database, and others believed, if they come forward. It will also make you feel better. See sexual abuse: minors, at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris in section 20, and PTSD, in section 33. If not significantly improved in a few months, consider changing types of therapy, as advised. Examine the 1-800-therapist website, and use the locators in section 1, and phone book, and/or various associations for psychiatrists and psychologists, to find the nearest one using EMDR therapy.

Answer 4

You may never feel better until you talk to someone about it. You need to get it out. I've seen this scenario before and no, the counselors (more than one) never reported it to the police. If it were still happening, that's something else. If it's possible that it might be happening still, to someone else, you may want this person to be turned in, so they can't hurt anyone else. You need to face it, good luck.

Answer 5

I think you should tell your counselor and being that you are an adult I think you can control what your counselor can or can't tell the police. Be careful of your counselor, some are bad like priests.

Answer 6

Tell your counselor she will help you. If you don't you will be in counseling 20 years later talking about this anyway.

Answer 7

I know therapist have to keep things like that private. They have the right to, even in court. I think if you feel comfortable about talking about it then you should.

Answer 8

yes, talk to your counselor, if you cant or wont tell your family, you have to tell someone. he/she probably wont tell the police if you ask him/her not to. just talking abut it finally will take a huge load off your shoulders. goodluck.

Answer 9

YOU should tell the police about it