Is my church perception wrong, or clouded?

Question

As a child raised in a baptist home, we were in church each time the doors were open.
It was like our extended family. Went to some ones house for dinner on Sunday or someone was at ours.
The preachers wife stood at the rear door with the preacher as we left.
Visitors were codelled like children. Made to feel welcome by each member of the church. My husband and I have been church shopping and I have yet to find one that makes me feel the way I did then. The church we have attended for about 2 months is OK. I am disappointed in that it is the same. Only 2 ladies have gone out of their way to introduce themselves.
I chose not to participate in the ladies Christmas banquet, cause I feel so unwelcome.
I am expecting too much? Do I just accept this is the way it is and continue going? Am I being too picky?
Please Help!

Joyful Noise: you found the words I could not....."Going Home" that it exactly.
Thanks.
and
Jed, Thanks. I will be the Rebel with a cause.

Thanks everybody for such great responses.

Merry Christmas to all and God Bless and keep you.

Answer 1

Sounds like the church you grew up in had it right.
As long as you are there, why not do as you remember being done to before?
Eventually, you may steer that whole congregation into loving as a family.
I wouldn't make it mandatory on anyone's part...leading is best done by example.
If you feel called to do this,(since you've noticed this) expect some difficulty, but persist. Nothing is built or changed overnight. (except of course for when Israel became a nation again)

Answer 2

Well, the thing about it is this. If you go to a church that has a small congregation you might find what you are looking for but if the church has a large congregation then you most likely will only be greeted by the greeter and maybe someone that you are sitting by. If you want to feel at home in a larger church you have to get involved in a ministry or something like that so that people can have an opportunity to get to know you. When you went as a child your parents were probably known by the parishioners and if visitors stood out because they were not that frequent or because everyone knew everyone else then that would explain it.

I go to a church with a large congregation http://www.alcf.net and the Pastor asks visitors to stand up so that we can see who they are and then there is always a "meet and greet" time where everyone stands up and you are asked to introduce your self to the people around you whom you have not met before.

Answer 3

Each church has a personality of it's own, wherever you go. If you are living in a small town, I guess you are limited, but, from the sound of it, I think you should keep visiting until you feel "at home". In Revelation, there were 7 separate churches written to and each was different from the others. I belong to a Southern Baptist church and it's very friendly and loving to each other, as well as visitors. I love my church. Like you said, it is my family. It's a rather large church, but it operates with everyone in mind and has a sensitivity to people's needs whatever age, race, gender, etc.
I don't think you're being picky to want a warm loving climate in the church you attend. In fact, I wonder how beneficial a church is to it's community if it's not warm? If there is no church for you, perhaps it's up to you to warm a church up.....now, there's a thought. Become a part of a church and spread the love yourself. Don't just wait for someone to come to you and welcome you. Take the first step to introduce yourself and make friends. Jump right into a church group (the ladies group, or help with the youth, children, homebound, etc.) and work your tail off! It might be up to you to open them up a little. It takes two to tango, you know. Don't sit back and blame them for being cold.........it might be you that's a little cold with new people.
I guess in the end you just need to pray and seek God's direction. God bless.

Answer 4

Pray to God for direction to the Church where you should be planted. Check out my Churches web sites, then there should be web sites of Churches around where you live with a similar idea. You can get an idea how the Church is. Is Gods love & Gods Spirit in the house? Does the Pastor preach the Word of God?

My Church http://www.riveroflifefellowship.org has services on live (Sunday & Wednesday). I just found this out last Sunday. And there was some technical difficulty with the sound during the praise & worship. There are still bugs in it that need to be worked out. But I was so blessed. I could go to Church when I wasn't feeling my best.
Got to listen to Pastor Jack last night & he was preaching that things are going to be better than we expected them to be... He had a very joyful preaching. So many of us have had many hurts this last year. But we need to expect Gods gifts. Every good & perfect gift comes from the Father of Lights.

Some Churches are very self righteous. They have forgotten who they are in Christ. When we are born of God, cleansed by His Blood, we are made the righteousness of Christ.

Also, some Churches are bigger & then it is the greeter people who say 'hi' to those who come to Church. That is the case with my Church. We don't really get to know people unless we go to the bible studies or ladies luncheons, etc.... But at the River, we have a great Greeter Ministry.

Then there is a new commers meeting ever so often. For new people to be introduced to the Pastors, etc...

Answer 5

To start my perception may be skewed as well as yours, though for a different reason as I am not Christian. My coven does wonderful potlucks at our gatherings and does feel like extended family to me. Also some who have only been with us for a short time have said the same thing. The time I visited a local Hindu Temple with a friend so she could write a paper about it for her class, they made us feel very welcome even though we were there for a visit.

I think what you are looking for is not impossible or unreasonable based on the above reasons. Try introducing yourself and being more social and keep looking. If the church feels right then just work on building up a network. Some churches will have their little cliques that won't be very welcoming. Others may just be shy and not sure how to help bond the community. It does take time, and don't give up hope.

Answer 6

I don't think it's expecting too much for the other church members to welcome you, the majority of those at the church I attend, including myself, would certainly do that.

Maybe they have all been going for years, and everyone knows everyone else, or perhaps they have had unfortunate experiences with strangers before, and don't want to be too hasty to get involved with newcomers, though after two months of regular attendance they should be getting used to seeing you there. I really can't think why supposedly Christian people would be so unwelcoming, it goes against what we are taught as Christians.

I hope that things improve for you very soon.

Answer 7

I don't think you're being unreasonable. A church is supposed to be like your family. A church is supposed to teach, encourage and support each other, not to just talk to a couple old friends, sing some songs and call it a day. If I were in your shoes, I would do a bit more church shopping.

Answer 8

I know how you feel. My husband and I moved several times in the last three years, to different states. We had a church we loved before we moved. We tried, not kidding, 6 different churches before we found one we liked. It was a large church, but the first day we attended, we filled out the visitor's slip, and the paster himself called us that afternoon and asked if he and his wife could stop by and visit with us. We felt very welcome there, but it took a lot of looking first. Sometimes you have to be the initiator. The church we are at now is sort of like the one you are describing. Everyone seems to already have their groups. We have had to make ourselves get involved and get to know people. Once we did, we found out many of them were very welcoming, it was just that there are so many transient members that most of them didn't know who were regulars and who were just visiting.

Answer 9

The Bible teaches that in the last days the church will fall away from the faith and become "lukewarm" and "apostate". I am afraid that is what has happened, and you are not alone in feeling the way you do. The bible answer is to not forsake going, but you need to realize that the church is now the mission field, not the ones ministering. Go there and seek to stimulate others to live godly lives. I doubt seriously whether you will ever find a church like you had again.

Answer 10

Demon comes from daio - to distribute. It ability a distributor of fates and fortunes. this is the different of the God of the Bible, who makes use of angels (messengers). Distribution rights etc. are prevalent vast-time in society, yet they do no longer seem to be what God makes use of. He does not have faith in luck. in reality, the vast sins interior the previous testomony are in seek of omens, divination, blending wine for destiny etc. Deuteronomy 18:10 permit no one be got here across between you who sacrifices their son or daughter interior the fire, who practices divination or sorcery, translates omens, engages in witchcraft. Do you mock human beings? Proverbs 9:12 says: "while you're smart, your know-how will reward you; once you're a mocker, you by myself will go through."