Hello. My boyfriend & I have been going out for a couple of months now... he was kind of a little nerd. But, you know, I liked it. Not so popular... but since I am one of the more popular girls in school, Henry has become more popular also. The problem is... now he's a jock. He's the same sweet Henry I used to know and love... when it's just the two of us. Around other girls and guys, he's kind of jerk-isk. I want to tell him without hurting his feelings... what should I do?
-Saerah Ashlie-
2007-12-10 10:10:35 · 36 answers · asked by ♥Saerah Ashlie♥ 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It sounds to me, that originally you liked the fact that ,being a nerd, he felt honored that you would date him, and you liked being worshiped by him. But once he was accepted into your clique, he was just another one of the popular jerks you didn't find appealing. You are no longer the only one who makes him feel like someone, and he has become someone. Just not who you wanted him to become. He originally went with you for similar selfish reasons, so he would be able to fit in with the popular kids. Now that he is, he doesn't need your help anymore, so the thrill is gone. He has become his alter ego and so have you. It's almost like you've switched ideals. He is more concerned about impressing his friends ,than impressing you. Remind him of how things use to be, and that the reason you dated him, was he wasn't insensitive like the jocks in your circle of friends, and now he's started acted insensitive just like them when in public. Tell him, you want to feel the same way and be treated the same way in public, that he treats you when you're one on one. Tell him that he doesn't have to be a jerk to be a man, he can be a man by being mature and treating everyone with respect. Then even his jock friends will look up to him.
2007-12-10 10:25:15 · answer #1 · answered by mainah 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i understand were your coming from. My old befriend did the same thing. Most guys act like a jerk infront of they're friends and other girls to one: impress they 2: keep from being called whipped and 3: to impress you, yeah crazy I know, but guys are just that way. There is always some one that a guy gets nervous around and will act like a jerk to you, even if it's one of those high class, prince charmings.
Just talk to him about it. Casually bring it up when your alone and don't get mad. Stay calm. It will be a better convo if you do.
2007-12-10 10:20:16 · answer #2 · answered by Amanda J 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He might just be trying to keep up with you. If you pulled him from a lesser crowd as far as popularity goes, he probably felt a little out of his element at first. He's probably just mirroring the attitudes of other people around him so he doesn't feel...different or stand out. OR, he might just be a little defensive and being a "jerk" is what comes out. I think you should talk to him when you are alone with him and approach it with something similar to what I just said such as, "I still like you a lot, but I've noticed you're a little different around my friends than you are when it's just us. Is there a reason for that? Are you comfortable with them? Because...I'm a little uncomfortable with how you act when you're around them becasue it's sooo much different than the you I started going out with."
2007-12-10 10:15:59 · answer #3 · answered by Bella J 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what is this thing about being popular, i was popular at school but i did not go out to be popular and dont, really care if i am popular or not because at the end of the day if you have a few good friends who like you that is all that matters. if you like him when he is with you that is all that matters. perhaps he finds it easier to be himself when he is alone he may lack confidance or not like those people as much as you do.
2007-12-10 10:17:11 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm, a popular girl decides to give a nerd a chance, he grows popular because of it and now acts like a retard.
Wasn't this a movie?
2007-12-10 10:15:46 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just watch those teen movies that come out every summer with this exact premise.
See what happens when the nerdy guy gets too big for his britches and the popular girl wants to remind him that he was nothing before her. Then follow suit.
2007-12-10 10:14:45 · answer #6 · answered by Mole Shooz Babii 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no longer somewhat. the capacity for him being bodily risky to you is rather severe. on the subject of the only way he won't be a risk to you is that if he's in a coma or lifeless. needless to say he has crushed you down. you may not help him or exchange him. some human beings have a chemical imbalance and character affliction that treatment can not help. and rather some those clowns are at the back of bars for existence. the guy who desires to alter is you. you ought to renounce rationalizing that this is okay for a guy to be abusive in direction of you.
2016-11-15 04:58:54 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's acting like a dick then he should know it. You should also consider the degree. If it isn't that bad then let it pass(it may be a phase). As a guy I'd rather know if I was acting like a retard and fix it before it's too late. If you don't want to hurt his feelings you should say it straight to his face away from everyone else.
2007-12-10 10:17:04 · answer #8 · answered by Peter 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should just tell him that he's changed. Then he'll probably say "really? how?" That's when you can tell him that he's probably not as reserved as he used to be? Of course you don't want to say he's jerkish, but you can at least tell him how you feel. If he's a good boyfriend, he should at lease listen and consider your opinion.
There's also a chance that he's trying to impress you or maybe trying to fit in with his belief of how popular people act.
2007-12-10 10:15:13 · answer #9 · answered by niiro13 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow he change. Why would you care about his feelings when he does not care about putting you in a inberestment huh. Also tell him the same way you make him popular is the same way all that could disapear, Tell that you need a break to see if could change or not. Tell him.
2007-12-10 10:16:23 · answer #10 · answered by janet_23 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋