How do I best deal with my circumstances after losing my parents?

Question

Back in 2004, I lost parents to cancer. My mom died fast in the hospital in April, and I cared for my grandmother until she died in October. When they died, I inherited my brother and the house I grew up in as my responsibility. My brother has hypotonic cerebral palsy, making him a 5-yr-old in an adult body. AND my house had a flood last year, forcing some walls and ceiling to be removed. This I can deal with, but its my future that scares me. Before they died, I was cloistered by my parents in grammar and high school. They lost too many loved ones before I was born, they were afraid I would become lost too. After they died, I split caring for the house and my bro with college studies, but I'm screwed with my major. I chose Journalism, and I'm graduating this January, but I have no internships or writing experience to help get a job. Plus,I feel bitter and resentful on missing out of being young like 20-somethings my age. I know better, but I'm lost. God failed me, now what?

Answer 1

I don’t know what you’re going through, but I know the feeling. That the only good day was the day before, that it feels like the only good feelings you have are locked in the past. I’m not going to try and answer, because I know you’ve probably already looked there and found things that sound good and are thoughtful, but do little to help. I don’t know who you are, but all I can say is that we share a common bond. The only thing I can say is I found, that when you’re really truly happy, you don’t know it till afterwards. Find something from when you felt like you were truly happy and try and make it a part of you life today, it might work or not, just keep experimenting.

Answer 2

Wow, you have been through a lot. You need some help. There are programs that can help with your brother. There may even be some financial help to get the house fixed. Can you talk to a counselor in the education program you are in to see what you can do about getting the experience you need? Don't give up. It is very rough now, but talk with others to see what help might be available. In California, there is a program for people with developmental disabilities. It would have the county name followed by the words "Regional Center". You have to apply for help there. They can't force you to do anything, but if I were you I would check it out. Social workers in hospitals and other health care settings know a lot of resources. Connect with others. Let it be known what you are dealing with. Through that process, you might get some wonderful ideas. Later in life you may look back on this period as a turning point for you. I wish you luck.