Girls, Why do you do this? What's in it for you?

Question

My ex broke up with me 4 months ago. She still calls me evry 2-3 weeks. She calls and says she misses me and our relationship, etc.She has been seeing someone else and she has told me more than once that she doesnt like him that much and that they dont have the same connection that we have.A month ago I stopped taking her calls and havent answered her texts.She saw me 2 weeks ago with another girl and she called me at work 2 days later and told me several things about how she misses me and how special I am and then she started crying and told me she wanted to see me, and that she is thinking of leaving the guy she is with, etc. She never acts on her statements, so I told her that I am moving on and that I think it would be best for her not to call me again EVER. When I said that she hung up on me.I do want to be with her but she tells me she misses me but doesnt ever come back to me.did I do the right thing? Why do girls like this play these games? What do y'all get out of it?

Answer 1

It's not just girls that play these games honey, it's a certain type of person regardless of gender.

She wants to have her cake & eat it too - ie. have one boyfriend and one man to string along... she doesn't want to commit to either of you.

You did the right thing: if she was committed to you we wouldn't be having this discussion.

Answer 2

ha, sounds like something one of my friends would do.. .which is bad. Anyways, ever heard the statement " you don't know what you got till it's gone." ? I think you're EXgirlfriend is finally realizing how much she liked you now that you are broken up.. too bad it's too late. Also, since she saw you with a girl she could be jealous. Girls get jealous REAL easily. Girls love attention, and she probably misses the attention you gave her when you were dating. If I were you this is what I would do; Set up a time and/ or a place where you guys can just talk about the break up and explain to her how you just simply think it's best to move on. Put some closure on it, maybe that'll make her feel better. Talking it out so she understands your side and you understand hers will help a lot. My main advice is to not go back to her... unless your heart really, really, REALLY, feels it. good luck!

Answer 3

She is simply showing regret. Whatever it was that caused you two to split is now seeming like nothing to her. The good times you all had are overpowering the bad times and now she sees what she missed. I would suggest not ignoring her. Yes, she is all talk, but right now she needs you. When she calls you, keep explaining to her that you are through... even if you have to keep reminding her. Just give her time. She thought that she could get the best of you in the new guy but she is realizing her mistake. Just work with her and give her time. But don't let yourself get sucked in with guilty feelings or dependency. Be firm and supportive. Tell her you can be friends and if she wants to see you, see her in a group.

Answer 4

Mainly ur qestion is why we do this...?
we dont ALL! do this...
plus.. if ur ex girlfriend wants to be back with u and u want to be back with her whats the problem...? of the "game"?
there is no game... she still cares for u and misses
u. and wants to be back in a realtionship with u
and while u telling her dont ever call me again that dont help AT ALL!! so if u wanna be with her... treat her with respect whether she done the same too u or not... ! she left u for some other guy it sounds like but she dont like the guy she likes u!!! but if u are moving on and yet still want to be with her.. what is ur qestion..? my advise.. if u still love her be with her u make the first step she makes the 99
theres 100 steps.. u make the first cuz she already make the 2nd! by telling u how much she misses u.. best of luck!

Answer 5

Yes, you did the right thing. I am guilty of playing this mind game before. Honestly, she might still have feelings for you, but obviously, she wants to be with someone else, but know that you are still there wanting to be with her. Its the classic " she can be with someone but you can't" kinda thing. She is keeping you close because she isn't ready for you to move on, even though she might have already moved on. I don't know why we do this, maybe cause were afraid you will find someone better, prettier, funnier, etc. But its not fair to you, cause in reality, she probably wont act on her words. I think you did the right thing, it sounds like its time to let go. I hope this helps, and i hope everything works out!! : )

Answer 6

If you really never want her to call you again, then i guess you did the right thing. Thats not to say that you couldntve done it a little nicer. As for what does she get out of it, maybe she really does miss you. Maybe she really does want you back. Why do you automatically assume shes just saying that to hurt you? How long and under what circumstances did you wait for her to 'come back' to you. It doesnt sound like shes doing it for any other reason than to be with you.

Answer 7

HEY I don't do that! OK i admit I have acted irrational in the past - but I was young.

You didn't mention your age - I am assuming you are very young and have not realized yet that she is nothing to waste your time or thoughts on.

Your girl is immature and does not know what she wants. Stay away from her b/c she will not change for you.

I hope you can handle being without a date better than she can, because whatever it is she needs to work on she will beat her next man over the head with.

Better him than you.

Answer 8

I'm a girl, and I don't do what she's doing. She's trying to boost her opinion of herself by finding out that you still care, but when that happens she leaves you hanging.

All the drama and tears are coming from a very selfish place in her spirit. She's not worth it. Move on and start seeing another girl who has her heart and self worth in the right place.

Answer 9

ok well...girls are stupid. yea, im a girl...but i try not to do that kind of stuff. see this girl is insecure, so shes trying to keep you around for a support, incase anyhting happens. your her back burner boy. shes leading you on so she has somone to go back to if this relationship goes under, so she feeds you little lines to make you feel like you still haeva chance so you dont leave. waht you did was right, and i wouldnt go back to her even if she was tellign the truth. i knwo a girl exactly liek that and she has been back and forth witht his same guy so many times. he hasnt dated another girl in like 5 years, but she dates all of the time. hes wipped and its ruining his life...move onand forget abotu this girl...

Answer 10

She wont dump the guy she is with until she knows you are going to take her back.She would rather have someone who she hates than no one at all, and if she will not be honest with the guy she is with, and just use him to keep from being alone,guess what kind of wife she would make you.
She gets tired of you it'll be"oh my husband is abusive, your special, I wish we could be together tra la la" to some other dude.If she was serious, she would break up with the guy and tell you she wants to date you again.

Answer 11

Wow. You really need to change that to SOME girls. I would NEVER do something like that. As for game playing, GUYS do that shiz too. Guys play games a majority of the time. Next time get your facts straight.

As for your ex, she seems desperate and VERY needy. I think you did the right thing. Ive done that to guys before when they didnt get the hint too even resorting to having numbers changed. Yeah, that is kinda harsh but some times call for you to be cold-hearted.

One thing I REFUSE to deal with is game playing, Im 18 years old, my time for kiddie azz games is LONG gone.