My bf (now ex) has a child with a woman who is clearly unfit. She has a history of (hard) drug addiction. We've caught her doing some pretty bad things- being high on hard drugs while he's in her care, leaving him alone in the house, not picking him up from school (we found her at a spa, after he'd been waiting for 3 hours), suggesting that he be left overnight with a cat for a babysitter.
Now she's slipped back into hard drug use. My ex won't do anything, won't report her, won't go for custody. Just keeps dropping him off every other week. He says it would be too hard on the boy to take away custody from his mom, and that these "mistakes" don't happen often enough to warrant it.
He says he's smoked weed in the past week (when he hasn't had his son) and if I report her, she'll report him and have him tested and the boy will end up in foster care. I don't want to risk him losing custody. He gives that boy so much love and attention and really takes good care of him.
2007-12-10 09:46:40 · 11 answers · asked by Priscilla B 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
So what do I do? To make things even more complicated, the boy has a mild case of aspergers. His father has worked with him on it and had tremendous success. I don't want to ruin that.
2007-12-10 09:47:50 · update #1
Tell him to stop smoking weed and to grow up. That's just sad.
Anyway, it needs reported.NOW! Don't let her get away with it. Let his system clear out. and then report her and tell him to knock off the weed. But do an ann.tip but tellhim to clear himself out.
2007-12-10 11:36:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you should report it. The child doesn't deserve that type of treatment and shouldn't have edured what he has. One of those "mistakes" is too much!
If child services decides to deem either parent or both unfit then the child could also be awarded to a relative or family friend who is willing to care for him besides being awarded to the state/public foster care.
Sometimes it takes the child being taken away for the parents to realize how serious their actions are. For the child, all of it is tramatizing. I feel sad for this child but something needs to be done.
It also sounds like the father has issues with wanting him if he continues to give him back and allow his child to live in such conditions. I question his amount of love for the child. It makes me wonder if he cares enough. Why would anyone who loves their child the way they should allow him to continue to live with the mother?!?!
2007-12-10 19:21:44 · answer #2 · answered by Cinny 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I feel that any "mistake" that is this severe warrants a report. I also agree with a previous response-he needs to quit smoking weed grow up and take care of his child.If he can't do that then in my opinion the child would be better off in a foster home. Especially if this a special needs child. Please as a parent myself do something about this situation as soon as possible.
2007-12-11 04:04:01 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should report it, don't wait for him to do it because it sound like he isn't ever going to.
You need to do what is in the best interest of the child, not the parents. It sounds like both parents are kind of irresponsible. Whether or not the father takes good care of him, he shouldn't have been participating in ILLEGAL activities (drugs). That child deserves parents who do not do any drugs and that take care of him.
Maybe the father will wake up and realize that his son is more important than drugs. As for the mother, I'm not so sure there is any hope.
2007-12-10 09:57:58 · answer #4 · answered by ~They call me MOMMY~ 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
You cannot allow this child to be in that home. It is unsafe. Though it is hard for a child to be taken away from a mother, it is harder for the child to be expose to hard drugs and a harsh drug party lifestyle where neglect is involved.
Do the right thing and report her. Tell him to quit the dope and file for custody. If he loves his son, this is the only thing to do. The only moral thing to do is to help the child get OUT OF THERE!
2007-12-10 13:13:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I agree... she needs to be reported. I know of a similar situation, and the mom put her children in danger OFTEN. So often, that when she volntarily went into re-hab, her ex got the kids and will not be giving them back.
Personally, I would report it...
A question for you: Why would you stand by someone so spineless? I am not sure I would want to be with someone who is so willing to turn a blind eye to such reprehensible acts by the child's mother.
He needs to stop smoking pot, hang out with his Aspie kid some more, and work with him...
Good luck
2007-12-10 18:26:00 · answer #6 · answered by mammi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Report it. Today. You don't have to tell anyone you've done it. I'd also tip the school off to keep an eye on the kid too. If he's worried about being tested and caught out, he'll just have to clean his act up. Simple as.
2007-12-10 10:17:57 · answer #7 · answered by who me? 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Your bf is SCARED!!! scared he'll have to take care of the kid!!! This child needs someone to stick up for him!!!
You need to do the Right thing and call CPS!!! Anytime drug use is involved and leaving a child by himself are both reasons to call CPS. You can do it anomyously, she won't know who did it.
2007-12-11 06:02:06 · answer #8 · answered by serene e 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a difficult situation. However, if you feel the child is being neglected, you should report it.
Besides, if he really loves his son that much, why does he continue to allow his son to be neglected that way?
2007-12-10 10:21:06 · answer #9 · answered by brwneyes 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Report it. Any child protection agency worth anything will try to get the parents help before they take the child away.
2007-12-10 10:01:00 · answer #10 · answered by Sonja 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋