My dad died about 2 months ago (1 month before my 14th birthday). Though he was an alcoholic and a drug addict and very violent/abusive, he owned my heart...he broke it when he died (of an overdose, by the way). At the time I was looking for anything to make me feel better...so, I had sex for the first and last time until I get married. I knew at the time that it was stupid and foolish of me and that I was way too young, but I didn't care. We used protection but here I am, barely 14 and pregnant.
I haven't told anyone but my aunt (who I'm living with right now) and don't plan on telling anyone else but the father and a close friend. The dad is only 16 and I don't really know what his reaction will be. But, I can't blame him if he wants nothing to do with the baby...we're just kids.
I'm keeping the baby. I know I'm young but I grew up way before my time (I know what you're thinking, that I must not be too mature to get myself in this situation) and my aunt said she would help me anyway possible...I'm very lucky to have her. I know this isn't really a question, I'm just looking for some kind words. I'm a bit scared.
2007-12-10 09:45:00 · 40 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
You are a brave female, and the young baby that you carry within you will appreciate your kindness and all the things you are willing to give up. The courage you have is astounding, for you have experienced a lot in your 14 years but each obstacle in your life has made you into a strong and independent woman. Never let anyone lower your self-esteem, because your bravery should not be rewarded with little confidence. Be proud that you can give someone else life and the chance to fall in love =)
2007-12-10 09:53:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
You seem so grown up and mature about this situation. I wish I had been the same way. I am also ten weeks pregnant; 20 years old and married but when I found out I freaked out and it took me a month to tell my mom even though I am married and there isn't technically anything wrong with it. So I respect you so much for being so mature and responsible. It's a great attitude to start out with. Just be happy you get to give life to this whole new person and witness a miracle because it really is a miracle. The bible says children are a blessing. God would not have given you this if he didn't think you could handle it. He wants you to have this baby and give it the love and care it needs. I was truly astonished by you maturity in this situation though keep it up and stay in school or at least get your GED. Try to college so you can really give this baby a great life. I am in college and pregnant and I have 2 years left so I know it can be done. So its time to quit feeling bad and start enjoying the fact that you have a little blessing growing inside you. Just wait til you hear the baby's heartbeat for the first time; I heard mine today and it was incredible feeling. I am so glad you are keeping the baby that is a great decision and since your aunt is there to help then you will be ok probably even great.! If you don't have health insurance then go to your local health department and get medicaid. Also they will put you on WIC or at least mine did and that helps out alot as well.
Congratulations and if you need someone to talk to you can email me at slwoodard21@tntech.edu.
2007-12-10 10:28:37 · answer #2 · answered by Samia25 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Congratulations on your pregnancy. Im 20 weeks pregnant with my first child. Although I am 10 years old then you, I tried to put myself in your shoes before responding. I thought back to when I was 14 years old & what I was doing. Although it would have been very hard, I know that I would have kept the baby & made the best of the situation. Especially now that Im experiencing the miracle of being pregnant...I wouldnt change this for anything in the world. So my advice to you sweetie is this... Have this beautiful baby that you created & make the best of the situation. You said that you have an aunt that is willing to help you & that is wonderful that you can count on her! I would suggest joining a pregnancy forum online. Im on one & the support group their is wonderful! Try www.babyzone.com. They do have a message board for Young Moms. I cant promise you that it will be easy, Im sure it will be very difficult. I say this, since Im married, older, finished with school & pregnant & have times Im overwhelmed with pregnancy. But I can tell you that if you stay focused on the blessing of your baby, you will make it through. I have heard young Moms say that at the time they found out they were prgnant they couldnt imagine their life WITH a baby...But as they got older & they look at their baby, turn to a toddler then a teenager...They are so happy that they decided to have the baby because they cant imagine their life WITHOUT them. Good luck to you! Wish you & your baby much happiness & good health! Hugs xxx
2007-12-10 10:02:23 · answer #3 · answered by Mommy to be in 2008 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
oh sweetie, Ive been there too! I wasn't 14, but barely 17 but there really isn't a whole lot of difference. If you think you have grown up early, well you really will by being a mother. Its wonderful that you will have a whole new being to love and to cherish as your own. You can do it, but it will be hard. You will have to give up the care free life style of the young and innocent. Its rewarding though, especially if you do a good job. let me just say, you must do for your child what wasn't done for you. Don't become an alcoholic and abusive... (not that I think you will, but you never know what your life will evolve into.) Hold on to your beliefs and really believe in yourself and your ability to be a good mother. Your bf may not want to be a father, but he should also be held responsible for bringing a new life into this world. I'm 46 and the mother of two adults. I have to say I wish I had the hindsight then that I have now. I would have been a better mother, much more involved in their schooling and tried harder to do the right thing when it came to my own personal life. BUt as it stands they are pretty good people. I did teach them compassion and understanding of others. Good luck and enjoy!
2007-12-10 09:59:05 · answer #4 · answered by lucielu 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Wow! Although you are way to young for your situation, you are not the first. The fact that your Aunt is willing to help you through this is a great thing. If the father doesn't want anything to do with the baby, that is his choice - granted a poor one, but his choice anyway. At least you know that you will be taking care of a precious little life. Now that you have realized your mistake, you have made decision that will affect the rest of your life.
I won't kid you - it won't be easy. You may find a time where you just want to go out with your friends, but the baby comes first - now and until he or she is 18 years old - and you have to do what is best for the child. Keep that in your mind and you cannot fail. With your Aunt to help you, you'll be okay.
I wish you the best of luck. I KNOW you'll do okay. It's scary - but just take things one at a time.
2007-12-10 09:57:37 · answer #5 · answered by Paul L 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
im only sixteen and I just had my daughter. It not going to be easy so i won't say that, its a little bit challenging, but its so much more rewarding than anything. Hopefully you'll stay in school, i am, we both have a lot to learn. I didn't have a loss like yours, my parents gave me everything and i appreciate them, and then i thought i'd dissapoint them, but they were so supportive. Everyone around me was. Don't let anyone tell you your dumb or immature, condoms were smart,even though they didn't work. The positive thing is that youll have something to live for. I had a pretty good life, and now its even better. sometimes its hard but everything turns out great in the end. Good luck and congratulations. if you ever need to talk email me if you want to sneaux_chik@yahoo.com
2007-12-10 11:17:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you sure you really "grew up way before your time"? You are not mature. If you were you would be thinking about the baby & how you would take care of it. You're too young to get a job, at least any kind of job to give the two of you a good life. How are you going to get a further education? Being a single mother will require you to have a pretty good paying job to take care of you both. Can you really provide all of that? Without putting the burden on your Aunt? This isn't her baby, it's yours. What happens when you get your drivers license? You will want to go out w/ friends. Are you going to stick your Aunt every weekend with your kid? You need to think about the quality of life your baby will have with you while you are trying to grow up too. What will your quality of life be too? If you keep it, remember it's your baby & no one else's. Don't put that responsibility on anyone else. Please think long & hard about this. You can always put it up for adoption.
2007-12-10 10:58:09 · answer #7 · answered by pkbuddy 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Well yes I would say that wasn't the best thing to do, but you did use protection, so kudos on that. And when your depressed you aren't on your game, his death will be the only thing occupying your mind. And I'm so sorry for his death. And it doesn't matter that he had a few problems, he was your dad, and you will always love him, I know what it's like to have a dad like that. No matter what you love him, you may hate what he's done but you still love him, and are willing to forgive him. 14 is such a young age and you've had so much go on. I'm 16 so if you ever want to talk about this or anything, even let things out email me, I know how hard it this is.
skater_teen@sbcglobal.net
and as for your boyfriend, well he's a teen and he may not want a baby. And it doesn't matter if you love each other, he most likly will freak and leave. Say you want to meet up someplace, maybe at a park under a beautiful tree. And come straight out with it. Lets call him john for now. Say John, will you promise not to say anything until I'm done talking? john I'm pregnat, and its yours, your the only one I have ever had sex with. i'm keeping the baby. Now I know you may not want to take care of a baby because your only 16 and I understand that, but I would like you to atleast be in the babies life. And I know you may not want to even think about this right now but I would love it if you would atleast support me and be with me when the baby is born. It would mean a lot to me.
Now he may freak and leave, so give him a few days to cool off, then call him and see what he thinks.
i know it sounds like something in a movie, but being calm and not hesitating will be better then waiting and yelling at each other. Anger will only make things worse.
2007-12-10 10:38:21 · answer #8 · answered by Amanda J 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Let me start by saying I'm sorry for your lost and I hope all is well. You really owned up to your situation and I'm so happy to hear you're keeping the baby. Age has nothing to do with it. Its what you make out of the situation and you're going to be fine. It takes a lot to take on the responsibility you just have believe in yourself. Don't stress over what the father is going to say or do who knows he might step up to the plate. And if he doesn't don't let it get you down. You just take care of that baby. Congrats and I wish you the best. No matter what you'll make it!
2007-12-10 10:02:38 · answer #9 · answered by LIL REDD 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well i am about to become 14 next month. Well from my view, you can say sex wasn't the best choice but I have respect for you because you are keeping the baby. One: I have a friend who has a cousin who got pregnant twice at age 17. She had abortion the first time without letting her parents know. Now she is pregnant again. Obviously you are doing a wiser desicion because you are giving the baby a chance to live. this baby could be the next great scientist or talented at many things. Most people get abortion. Two:You are being responisble for your actions and will clean up the mess in a mature way. Three: You are being brave.
Keep things that way and learn from your mistakes :D
If you need to talk I will be happy to help
2007-12-10 09:59:34 · answer #10 · answered by Cero 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You sound very mature and should be respected no matter what you choose to do. My father died 3 yrs ago and my little sister was 14 at the time, he was our world, and now my sister is a drop out, has a felony on her record, and has an abusive 22 yr old boyfriend. I only wish my sister had the courage like you do to step up and take responsiblity for her actions, and to ask for help. and to know everything will work itself out. They say god never puts more on you than you can't handle. Good Luck sweetie and I hope you have a healthy baby. You'll be a great mommy.
2007-12-10 10:16:18 · answer #11 · answered by msdood1 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋