What can you do when the “simple” Christmas gifts won’t go over well with your relatives?

Question

I can’t afford to spend much of anything for Christmas this year, and haven’t been for several years. We bought a house almost nine months ago, so most of our money is going to that and bills. I have read some of the questions on here about what to buy someone for Christmas if you can’t afford much, and some people say bake cookies, cakes, pies, or give a plant or make coupons for personal services. Those are all GREAT ideas but they won’t work with my family. My family is very judgemental and money driven. The name brand or price tag of something is what catches their attention. I can guarantee you if I baked a dozen cookies and gave them to my aunts, they would toss them in the garbage – guaranteed. My mom, brother and grandmother as well. I am not assuming this either. I know them. I have heard them talk about other people’s gifts.

I bought some some Victoria’s Secret lotion for two of my aunts a couple of year ago. They sat it in a corner and never touched it. The following year they told me not to worry about getting them gifts. That really hurt my feelings because I wanted to get them SOMETHING, as they are my favorites out of five aunts. My mom is the same way. She says she doesn’t expect anything but she truly does. She doesn’t buy gifts because she’s on a fixed income and can’t afford them. I don’t expect anything either. I tell her not to buy me anything everytime she suggests it. But if Christmas rolls around and she doesn’t have a gift she gets really depressed and feels left out. One year I absolutely couldn’t even afford to get her a gift (I usually do EVERY year and spend quite a bit). She seemed to distraught. But I never get ANYTHING and I’m just fine. It’s annoying but hey – that’s life.

Again, I know my family and the first thing they’ll say if I give them a “homeade” gift is that’s it’s cheap, and I didn’t even have to waste my time doing it. They (with the exception of my mom) tend to be high-minded people who want to be more than what they are. They like to be viewed as big and important. They feel that they are above certain things. Any other suggestions?

Answer 1

My mom is the smae way, no matter what I get her its not good enough, however she doesnt expect anything. I have tried the gift sets from walmart (I would like those) Perfumes, candles, nothing ever is good enough, she probably re-gifts them the minute she gets home. If you think of something PLEASE let me know

Ps. My Brothers the same way. We wont hear nothing from him throughout the year but Christmas rolls around and he pops up with 3 more people to buy for and cant do right there either, just wanting you to know, you are not alone!

Answer 2

You can do alot with photos! It isn't that expensive to make really nice things. Wal-Mart has the nicest prices and selections of frames.

We are going with Target giftcards... I'm sure your family would think that was cheap but people can buy what they want with a Target giftcard and the ads are always so exciting, maybe they can put your $5 or $10 card toward soemething...

I hate when family and others make one another feel bad about GIVING. That is ridiculous, stressful and sad and against Jesus. Oh well, some of my relatives are that way, too.

Answer 3

I totally agree with all the answerers that suggested not buying for these selfish snobs. Getting a gift is supposed to mean that the giver loves and thinks about you...not that they "owe" you something. Also, giving a gift should be a joy to the giver, in a situation like that all you are getting is stress and anxiety. Buy gifts only for those you ENJOY buying gifts for, and let all the others feel however they choose to feel about it.

Answer 4

Honestly, I am sure your family-members are great people, but their actions are disgusting. They seem very shallow. I don't know about you, but when I see such behavior in people, I want to change it. They are very wrong. Do what is right for YOU. Get them whatever you can afford to get them. Your aunts were very wrong when they told you not to buy them anything. Since I do not want to risk offending you, I will just say that this behavior is wrong, but I feel much stronger about it. Lotion is a beautiful gift. I would get them what is convenient for you, and if they don't like it, to hell with them. Don't cater yourself to their needs. If they are so money-driven, let them buy their expensive gifts for themselves. I am really bothered by this question, and I strongly believe you should stick by your guns here.

Answer 5

OK, I hate it when people say give to an animal shelter and leave people out,BUT this is one time where its actually appropriate.Decide on an amount put all the names on it and get a receipt for each one put that in a Christmas card and hand that out to each one.I think you will have your problem solved.This is what I would do,the animals get taken care of and the message is loud and clear.Merry Christmas!

Answer 6

I would get each one of them a Christmas ornament. You can personalize them if you want so they know the ornament is specifically for them. Of course, pick ornaments which are suitable for the person you are giving them to. A cat for a cat person, a ballerina, a cowboy, etc.

Let me give you a hint... Consider purchasing something from the $5 and below type stores. If they are that snobbish, they will have no idea of what any of those stores carry. You can get ornaments for very little cost and it is seasonal in nature. Perfect for the small pocketbook.

Answer 7

If you can't afford to feed their greedy appetites, feed their ego's instead!

Make them a scrapbook album, labled "Stars of the Family" or something. You decorate the pages and they can glue their favorite photos to them.

Make a videotape asking their friends and family about the person you are giving the tape too.

Answer 8

I suggest you stop giving gifts to your aunts. Give only to your mom, brother and grandmother but only whatever you can afford and to h*ll with their feelings and comments. You need to protect your own finances and no one, not even your mom, brother or grandmother should bring you financial ruin. Look out for number one.....YOU.

Answer 9

I would consider taking them up on their suggestion of not getting them anything. It seems that they are COMPLETELY overlooking the concept of Christmas. Better yet, remind them what Christmas is about. Give them a card that says you have donated "X" amount of dollars to a charity in their name. Maybe choose something they care about, if they care about anything. An animal league, children's home, cancer research, etc.

Answer 10

Sounds like their problem and not yours. Buy them all a copy of A Christmas Story. They need to relearn the meaning of Christmas. On that note, buy them a cross Christmas tree ornament. If they complain about it, maybe it will remind them of JESUS.