My friend and his wife are newly pregnant. It's their first child. And he is actually more anxious than she is. He is terrified of everything that could go wrong.
He is worried to death about birth defects. There are alot of them out there.
He is also worried that he could hurt the baby. Either by accident or on purpose. He points out how clumsy he is, and how most people who molest or abuse young kids are related to them.
This is really scaring him. He says he keeps getting these unwanted images in his head of things that could go wrong.
I think he is being awfully hard on himself. He has absolutely NO criminal record to speak of besides shoplifting once when he was a kid, and a traffic ticket. And he's never been violent or abusive to Suzy or anyone else. And he is very caring and good natured.
He's always been a bit of a worrier. So is this natural for a new father to be? Should he seek professional help if it doesn't go away?
2007-12-10 08:05:05 · 5 answers · asked by IrishFan2011 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Totally natural. I think my husband is worse than I am! He's convinced that when our son is born he's going to accidentally "break" him. He's terrified something bad will happen to me and any number of other things. He's been having nightmares about it!
One of the best things your friend can do is contact a local hospital to find out about parenting or fathering classes. They'll teach him how to wash the baby, diaper it, feed it etc. This will boost his confidence and make him feel a lot better about everything! Also advise him to read as much about newborn care and being a first time father as possible. The book "What to Expect When You're Expecting" has a great section of expectant fatherhood and www.babycenter.com offers some great resources as well.
I've started having "Daddy Class" with my husband and it's helped him a lot. We bought a baby doll and practice changing, feeding, bathing it.
Also, tell your friend that the very fact that he's this worried means he will be a wonderful parent! The bad parents are the ones who DON'T worry at all!
2007-12-10 11:52:20 · answer #1 · answered by Rachel B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well point out to him that he's an excellent friend. get all his buddies together, have a drink and w/e. tell him he's going to be an excellent father and help him out in times of need. and it's natural for the father to be anxious. I mean, he's going to teach the baby (if it's a boy or a atheltic boy) sports and everything. he's bringing a new life to this world and take him along his life. Give him a few pointers and a nice headstart and he'll do FINE!
2007-12-10 16:09:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes it's natural and he should think how his wife feels, she's carrying the baby and it's scary the first time around. I hope he doesn't constantly put all those worries in his wife's ear.
2007-12-10 16:09:10 · answer #3 · answered by ME 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
yes. it is ok for men to be like this. they get worried and then when they just settle in to the idea. give him time.
2007-12-10 16:11:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yeah its pretty normal for a father to worry a lot about things. They get over it thought,
Its NOT normal for someone to worry about molesting their kids. Thats just wrong. Maybe he needs therapy?
Why the hell did i get thumbs down? People think its normal to worry that you might molest your own children? WTF?
2007-12-10 16:09:26 · answer #5 · answered by amosunknown 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋