Why, when your in the store and.....?

Question

Why, when your in the store and.....your child throws a tantrum, and you are ignoring your child, cause if you baby the kid, they think it's ok, to do it all the time) why do people point and look at you like you are the evil mom?

I had this grumpy lady tell me (in front of my kid) to give her what she wants. I wanted to slug her, lucky for her, I was grown up with better morals then that.

I did tell my kid that they need to behave and she kept crying, so I did what I had to do.

Answer 1

I am sorry that you have had a bunch of people answer this who obviously have never had one of their children throw a tantrum in a store before. Everyone seems to be on the "offended" end of the situation. I am mom to 4 kids who are now 28, 26, 23, and 10. I also have been a child care provider for 20 years. I have been in a store with a tantrum throwing child on numerous occassions. Ignoring a tantrum is a tried and true response and actually works quite well most of the time. At that point of a melt-down, putting the child in the shopping cart and finishing the shopping works wonders. Let people point and stare and make snide comments, you are doing what you have to do. It is not always feasible to leave the store and go home when you have a tantrum throwing youngster with you. In theory, it seems easy unless you're the mom who has to buy the toilet paper, something for dinner, milk, and bread before you go home, which is a 30 minute drive from the store. Totally impossible to take the child from the store and go home without what you came for. Now, going to sit in the car for however long it takes to calm down may be do-able, but sometimes time or weather (we live in Michigan and it is 30 degress out) just doesn't allow it. Now...on to your true question. Everyone has an opinion on how your child should be raised and some are impertinent enough to say what they think to your face without knowing the full story of your situation. In those instances, what you are doing with your child, ignoring the bad behavior, works pretty good with "butt-inskis", too. Some people think they are entitled to a certain atmosphere when they are shopping, but a store is a public place, and kids throw tantrums sometimes so they should just ignore a tantrum throwing child and move on with their own shopping.

Answer 2

I understand, sometimes you really CAN'T leave. As a stay at home mom in a one-car family in a crowded trafficky city, when I actually am ABLE to get groceries or clothing or cleaning supplies or gasoline, I cannot just toss the opportunity away. My husband works long hours, so the car isn't often available.
I'm sorry that you have to put up with busybodies in public and with people on here who obviously have no kids, or think that they can parent EVERY child so perfectly no tantrums occur. Adults do plenty of unacceptable and rude things in public, so who cares if a kid is shrieking in a grocery store or a mall? They aren't old enough to comprehend that others may be irritated that they have to grocery shop with screaming. So many people are too hard on kids in the sense that they expect them to always behave. It's a process, people!!!
As long as the behavior isn't condoned, or the wanted item withheld, the child will learn in time that tantruming isn't ok and that Mom or Dad means no when they say it. Ignoring works in the sense that the kid isn't getting the negative attention they're attempting.
I threw my fair share of tantrums when I was little and my mom did several things: the "keep shopping with kid screaming and just ignore the behavior", the "slow walking away, saying, we're leaving now (while keeping an eye on the kid)", and the "loss of a toy followed by a spanking if necessary."
You keep on teaching your child that a tantrum will get him nowhere! Good job. I remember hearing my mom say "use your words!"

Answer 3

Well If its at all possible, leave the store, Chances are, when you get to the car, your child will have settled down enough to talk to you about exceptable behavior in the store, then you can go back in and finish your shoping. ohhh from experience, tell someone in the store to hold your stuff for you or you might come back in to find your cart gone, lol. Yes this has happenedto me a few times. every time my daughter is better after a few min in the car. then we talk, go back in the store and shes as good as gold. Good luck and dont let any rude onlookers get to you. they obviously either donhave children or they have someone to watch their kids while they shop, or they just dont remember how their kids were during the toddler/preschool ages. Or they just like to judge. it makes them feel superior.

Just a comment, for those of you that say, go home. Sometimes you really need what your at the store to buy. what if you go home with no dinner or milk ect. essentals.
I think go to the car and act like you are going home. only go home as a last resort, or if you really dont need what you went in for. Also Ive found that it really helps to talk to your child before you even go into the store about how they should act, tell them that if they dont act grown up then they will loose a toy or privlage. and be true to your word too. when you get home. take that my little pony away.

Answer 4

I have had exactly this situation. I ended up saying to my daughter. If I buy you everything you want you will end up a spoilt rude person like that horrible lady. We did go and have a bit of time out while she recovered but it's overated and I don;t use it much. Bottom line is everybodies children do it. You probably did it, the rude bi*ch in the store did it. And the wally sending shame on you message probably still does it! They are noisy and they are emotional that's what being a kids is all about. Don't worry about what other people think, just worry about your little one, you are doing the right thing not giving in otherwise you would have to do it everytime.

Answer 5

It's nice how everyone has the ability to just leave the store, I know you all have people you can leave your kids with good for you, you don't need milk and diapers and your kids are all well behaved. wow. I don't have that luxury and you do what you got to, if you don't like noise and you don't want to hear screaming kids, well move to a adult only city. Doesn't anyone get that you have to go to the store and finish the trip sometimes because you are missing necessity's? I would've told the lady to suck it. Sorry everyone but I understand where she's coming from here, shame on all of you for repremending her for things you don't understand.
also what's up with the lady who doesn't want kids+ why is she in parenting?
Edit: to the person below me who suggested smacking I applaud you! The only problem is the same people who don't want your kids to scream don't want you to smack them!

Answer 6

i like right here previous army Banana Republic Rue 21 objective JCPenney Belk i do no longer look after a number of those high priced shops, like Hollister and warm subject remember and Aeropostale and stuff. the clothing rip truthfully. i prefer to bypass to Ross incredibly undesirable and spot what they have. How are yalls comments approximately Ross? sturdy or undesirable?

Answer 7

When my oldest throws a tantrum, I tell her we are leaving the store if she does not stop. If she does not stop, I follow through with it and leave.

But people do think you're an evil mom because they want your kid to be quiet, and since you can't make that happen...well, then you become evil.

Answer 8

Isn't that when you just ask the old bag, sweetly and politely, if that's why her kids turned out to be as rude and nasty as her. Then hoik the kid to its feet and out the door.

I never had too much bother with my kids - I tried to work in things that interested them, too - but if one of them did kick off they found them self outside the shop so fast their feet hadn't touched the floor.

I only actually came home without the shopping once. Unfortunate for the child, because we'd been buying sausages ... but we had to come home, so I had to cook that liver that was in the freezer instead ... only the cat and I actually like liver, so Daddy was unimpressed when he got in from work too ... Don't you just love those little lessons in cause and effect? hehehehe

Answer 9

It's not that they look at you as evil. It's that your child is giving them a headache, and they want it to stop. Maybe next time she throws a tantrum in the store, smack her little mouth enough for it to sting. That'll stop her right then. She'll learn not to be throwing tantrums in stores anymore.

If you just ignore the kid, it's only going to escalate the tantrum, at least for a while.

To whoever gave me thumbs down..why is it you will NEVER see an Amish, Hutterite, or Mennonite child throwing a tantrum in the store? Because they know what's coming, and it won't be a measly time out.

Answer 10

Because some people don't like to hear your child scream. If they start to fuss you need to deal with it not just ignore it. I work in a store and I'm sick of people ignoring their children and making me put up with their kids because they don't want to handle a situation and while your at it don't let them scream that they want something that is being handed out as a sample it's annoying to the people doing the demo.