Catholics only please?

Question

My dad sent me this e-mail with the act of contrition that dove into the deeper meanings and taught about the perfect act of contrition . I came to this part:
Universal
"The act of contrition must include all of the mortal sins. One may never keep even one pet sin. Thus, if a person living in adultery is very sorry for his sins of eating meat on Fridays, but will not give up his sinful life of adultery, he cannot get rid of even one sin. One either leaves all of his sins behind, or he keeps all of them for God's just judgment at the moment of death. Unlike teeth, which when left alone, will pass away, sins, however, when left alone will never pass away."
I always thought that my sins were forgiven. I never mentioned the ones that I knew I would do again, because I thought it was wrong to ask for forgiveness if you were just going to do the act again.
From what I've heard, my Church won't consider me an adulteress because I was never married in the church in the first place but was divorced twice, I don't know how you consider it, maybe I am. One thing is for sure though, I am living in sin, therefore my sins are retained according to that. All of them, It hurts in my gut, I feel all twisted up inside and I've been more than depressed, I've been distraught.
It's all my fault, I lived the life, but I honestly thought those other sins were forgiven, but I was wrong.

I'm so scared to go to the church and lay myself out before them. I guess it would be good for my soul though, I would be very humbled...humiliated and ashamed of my life. For the past 10 years I've been trying to be a better person, but too afraid to face them, would they even accept me? I've been among them all this time, I go to church, I've been going, never receiving the sacrament because I know it's wrong.
I have to do this though, I've let my shame rob my kids of their sacraments and also myself. Why am I so afraid to go to the RCIA counselor, I fear she would judge me and perhaps rightly. But no one can tell me that Jesus doesn't love me, he's shown me he has, why am I afraid of their judgments when my judgment is in such a serious state?
My heart hearts so much right now. My "husband" (we've been together 9 years with kids) wants to go to the JP and get married there before we go to the church with this.

I think he's afraid the church will make us become celibate until after we're really married, and they most likely will, but my heart right now wants to flee to the church, but my fear keeps me here.

It is a mountain, and I'm not sure how long it will be before I climb it because I feel like I'm having an anxiety attack just thinking about going in the office and explaining why I haven't finished my Sacraments, do annulments, get confirmed and get married, my kids need every thing too.
No matter how long it takes, for me to go and actually climb this mountain I know Jesus will be with me, he's been with me all this time. Thank God he mingles with sinners, I love him so much, my heart bursts with love for him every day of my life.
But right now I'm scared and knowing I'm carrying sins I thought were long forgiven weighs me down, I feel like the insides of my heart were dumped out, I feel sick to my stomach.

What can you say to me to give me encouragement?

my dad didn't send it to be mean or anything, we send each other religious articles because our faith is strong, always was, I'm just a screw up. My dad didn't try to hurt me, in fact because I was upset about it I told him and he began to cry, he said he didn’t mean to hurt me. He didn’t hurt me, I hurt me.

Answer 1

I am catholic and my best advice is to go and make an appointment with your priest for confession. Lay it all out on the table. EVERYTHING. Talk to your priest about it and he will advise you what is the best course of action.

Here is the thing, if you are living with someone whether you have been married or not the church considers that a sin. If you are having sex with someone and not married to them then the church considers that a sin. If you are Catholic and you marry outside the church, then the church won't recognize the marriage and you are not free to receive the sacraments, IE communion.

Please, please, the best best best thing to do is to talk to your parish priest. He can be the one who can best guide you. Not ANY of us on yahoo answers as we don't know you personally!

In the meantime, I wish you the best of luck on your spiritual faith walk.

Answer 2

Yes, I am a practicing Catholic. I do feel bad when, at Christmas and Easter, all those "twice a year" Catholics come out - but then I realize that it could be worse. It could very well be possible they don't come out at all. It's easy for someone, who attends Church every week, to go to Mass on Christmas, Easter, and Holy Days of Obligation. I often wonder just how much more difficult it is for people, who don't attend Mass regularly, to get out and go to Mass a few time per year. We can't imagine it, because we know what we'd be missing. I don't think these "twice a year" types can fully appreciate what it is they're missing. If they did, they'd be at Mass more than twice a year. I am proud to be Catholic, so it's all the more disappointing when I see people taking an "oh hum: attitude towards their vocation as lay Catholics. All we can really do about it is pray, and hope that they example we set will, someday, motivate them to start living the Catholic lifestyle all year round.

Answer 3

Why are you scared? First off the email is wrong, you do not retain the sins you have been absolved of. Since it is not possible to confess all of our many daily faults, we know that sacramental reconciliation is required only for grave or mortal sins—but it is required, or Christ would not have commanded it. Your sins have been forgiven.

Your email is convoluted with about 100 different things that it is hard to follow and make sense of it. Yes God is with you, always will be. If you want to get back into the Church, have the rest of the Sacraments, get your kids baptised then do so. It sounds like you need alot of spiritual counseling and no one is going to judge you, they will however make you take a hard look at why you have made the choices you did (which it sounds like you need to do). Don't hide.

Answer 4

As the Father has sent me, even so I send you. . . . Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained" (John 20:21–23).
Jesus gave his priest the power to forgive sin. I know how embarrassing it is to tell your sins to someone else but you can do an anonymous confession and the priest will not even see you. Once you confess you sins and the priest forgives your sins in the name of Jesus THEY ARE FORGIVEN and you can move on. I have to go to confession this weekend as well it has been way to long lol. Get it over with! Good Luck!

Answer 5

Peace.....when you go to confession, your sins are forgiven - the ones you mention and the one's you have "forgotten" to mention. However you are concerned about sins you are aware of and continue to repeat. You are in a position that even and especially God knows about. Your best bet is to make an appointment with a pastor, explain the whole situation and that you want to make it right - for your conscience, family and future and he will direct you on how to take the right steps. Forget mentioning your problems to an RCIA leader; that is not really what they are there for - but the pastor is there to guide and direct in matters such as this. I'm sure a pastor will use good discretion and privacy for both you and your family. The main thing is your desire to correct the problem and for that you will be graced..... I will pray for you and God Bless! "orthros"

Answer 6

Only God forgives sin

1441 Only God forgives sins.39 Since he is the Son of God, Jesus says of himself, "The Son of man has authority on earth to forgive sins" and exercises this divine power: "Your sins are forgiven."40 Further, by virtue of his divine authority he gives this power to men to exercise in his name.41

taken from Catechism of the Catholic Church.

I can see two important questions to ask yourself.

1.) If you believe that God gave divine authority through Peter
to the Christian Church, should you do all that you can to
live within this authority? (All of us should be humble enough
to understand that believing this point or not believing this point is not what it means to be a Christian.)

.....And whatever you do, do not start quarrelling with other people because they use a different formula from yours."
-C.S. Lewis

2.) If your intention is to commit a specific sin again, ask yourself, "Have I given my life over to God?". His strength is infinite, and all that is good and righteous comes from his grace.


One of my favorite parables is that of Pharisee and the tax collector. LUKE 18:9-14 "......God, have mercy on me, a sinner......"



P.S. I am certainly smart enough to know that all questions
asked are not taken from life, however not all answers are for
only those who ask.

Answer 7

Don't be distraught. The church will welcome you with open arms. I don't think you understood what you doing at the time. Talk to a preist and find ask him how you can go about getting your marraige blessed by the church. Go to mass. You will always be welcome. Ask about communion since that may have special requirements. God will never abandon anyone. I will say some prayers for you. Stay close to God in prayer, as that is where grace comes from.

Answer 8

We all fall short. Only Jesus is perfect. That is why he died for you and for me. Repentance and forgiveness are our amazing answer to all things as He loves us so much. I pray that God will show you the way forward and give you a peace about it. God Bless

Answer 9

Look, I'm Lutheran, which is sort of similar, but Jesus wouldn't have died on the cross if we could be perfect or pay for our sins ourselves.
You shouldn't expect yourself to be perfect cuz you never will be. Just try to do what is the best choices you can make day to day. If you trust in Jesus, he will forgive you that you can't always do the will of God. Because the world and ppl are sinfully

Answer 10

Your guilt is weighing heavily on you... find a compassionate Clergyman or Sister to speak with and tell them your concerns...

The "anonymity" of the Internet allows a false freedom to say what you feel BUT will probably not give you the release you seek.

find a counselor [clergy or non-clergy] and address these issues with your counselor.