Songs / Hymns for my funeral?

Question

I'm 14 (almost 15) and I am dying. I am trying to plan my funeral because I really don't want my parents to have to do it after I croak. This way they get to feel they have done it exactly as I wanted (but to be honest, I couldn't really care - funerals are for the benefit of those left behind).

Hymns for the service:
- Nearer My God to thee
- Be still my soul
- I also like Turn Turn Turn but even though it is taken from the bible it is might be seen as a 'pop song'

Songs for after the service
- You'll never walk alone
- The Parting Glass

Do you think these would be OK, out of place, or too morbid?

Also, I can't decide whether to be buried or burned.

And is it too outrageous to ask for everyone, including the coffin carriers, to wear celtic football shirts instead of black suits? Black suits just make people feel even worse!

I have cancer (carcinoma) and no, I'm not going to kill myself.

There are so mny great answers that, wow, I don't know which one to choose. I'll leave it you to decide and hope you don't go for a jackass remark.

Answer 1

It is your funeral. It might help your parents if you chose what you want. It also allows you to take charge of your future.

I think the songs you chose are great. Who cares if the songs are "Pop" if you like them. They reflect your personality, your likes, so that makes them perfect. The people who will attend your funeral are there to remember you and to say goodbye. The way you arrange your funeral is sort of your way of saying goodbye to them as well.

The choice of being buried vs. being embalmed is a very personal one. I know for me, I decided I wanted to be cremated when I was about 15 years old. My Dad couldn't stand the thought so he was embalmed (per his wishes) and buried. I don't know what type of service you would want, but depending on the coffin, cremation can be much less expensive. I've told my family I just want to be put in a shoe box or something and buried at the bottom of my Dad's plot.

As for what the pall bearers wear, that is also up to you. I saw a lovely funeral (if they can ever be described that way) where all the bearers wore tartan.

I'm sorry to hear that you're dying. I do hope that you aren't having to suffer pain.

Answer 2

Why do people have to be jackasses when they answer questions? If they think your question is weird or think you're lying...they don't have to comment. People really need to take the time to figure things out before jumping all over others and judging them. I was curious as to why you were dying, so I went and looked at the other questions you've asked...and I found out. And I'm sorry and I wish you the best.

Anyways..to answer your question:

Nearer, My God to Thee is very appropriate.
Be Still, My Sould is nice as well.
I like Turn, Turn, Turn too - if you think it might be considered as a pop song, play it after? I'm not sure, but that is a good one.

You'll Never Walk Alone is alright, though it wouldn't be my choice.
The Parting Glass is definate;y a good one, as well.

Other songs I reccomend:
Amazing Grace (it was played at my friend's funeral)
When I Get Where I'm Going
My Wish
My New Life Has Begun
You'll Be In My Heart

I think you need to sit down and discuss, with your parents, about the pros and cons of a burial vs. a cremation.

I think the celtic football shirts is a great idea. You're young still. You're funeral should not all be grieving...it should be filled with celebration for the life that you DID live.

Good luck to you, and ignore the jerks on here. Stay Strong <3

Answer 3

I think what you are doing is wonderful. My mother passed in Oct 2006 from lung cancer and I planned her funeral as the time got closer, so when it happened, I could grieve for her instead of all the planning stuff. I think your songs should reflect what you liked. and since you have a computer have you downloaded them so your parents won't have to search for them? I love the idea of your Pallbearers wearing the jersey. Sweetheart you are young so your service should be young also.
As for the cremation or burial, I wish I had my mom cremated so I could have brought her with me to my new state. I won't be able to visit her grave much since I moved 900 miles away.
Death scares some people, so those people that say this is morbid, are just afraid. Your death will be very hard on your parents so I as a mother of 3 say you are being very adult and helpful to them. God Bless you, you are one of God's Angels.

Answer 4

Any songs you want! If you want things that are not morbid, like the shirts, go for it!

It is very cool to be able to plan your own services, and if more people could, there would probably be more upbeat services.

One of the nicest things you could do is a gift to your family and friends -- a message to them about how you feel about them. They will always have that to remember you by.

Sounds as if you are in the acceptance stage. Go gently, my dear. You set a lovely example. If you cannot decide about cremation or burial, maybe leave that decision to others. (Or have you actually decided, since you mention a coffin?)

Answer 5

I can tell you that for me personally down the road when I pass I want to be cremated. My reasons for cremation is I don't want to have my organs pulled out and have my body filled with a chemical (not sure what the chemical is) to make your body prolong so you can be viewed by your loved ones. Another reason why I prefer cremation is that you can have your remains spread to your favorite places instead of being buried in one spot. When I pass I plan on having my remains from the cremation put into objects such as a locket or some sort of jewelry and the rest buried. I want to have my remains put in jewelry so my closest family members can always have a part of me with them.

I know from personal experience when my grandfather passed away he hated black. Everyone in his funeral wore colors that were bright and nothing dark and black because he despised it. As for your music that is a personal choice. Perhaps downloading a few songs and listening to the message that is being brought through will help. Finding something that is a message you want your love ones to know while your listening is the best.

Another suggestion is to write a poem or have something left behind that you wrote in comfort. Maybe you can write a story of your life that can be given to all your loved ones during the service.

I'm very sorry that your dying. This is sad to know but God works in amazing ways. By God taking you he is leading you into something bigger and better. Don't be afraid and know someday you will be joined with your loved ones as brothers and sisters of God.

Answer 6

I think you should be able to have anything that you wish. When I went to church as a kid, I used to really enjoy this song called "When the roll is called up yonder." It was cheery in it's own little way. Hun, I am sorry for your sorrow or for what you might be going through at this time not to mention what others might be going through who dearly love you. It doesn't matter whether you are cremated, lowered into the ground as is or go into the forest and become one with the land, in the end our souls live on to breathe the newness of another day. Many blessings and peace

Answer 7

I'm so sorry.

You can have anything you want for your funeral but just remember that you won't see any of it and try to consider the feelings of those you leave behind. Having one out of the ordinary song like "Turn, Turn, Turn" is a lovely idea. All the others are beautiful. Also consider "In the Arms of the Angels" by Sarah McLaughlin.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=HU1OaCglgw0

Answer 8

Well, first of all I think you should be concentrating on living at your age- provided that you are terminally ill- and then you should still be concentrated on living!!!

I was very ill a few years back and chose lot of my favorite songs - but I like Dance by Leann Womack, and When I look to The Sky By Train.

However, as I was more focused on living- I have made a dramatic comeback and my funeral plans have been happily postponed

Answer 9

This has got to be the saddest ? Ive come across yet on ya! But still to answer your ? how about Jessica Simsons angels ! I played this at my moms funeral because it was one of her faves and it seem to really fit . My prayers are with you and your family. Also my mom was cremated and I'm glad for I always feel that she is with me, I even have a necklace that contains a small angel vile with some of her ashes. Some people think its kind of morbid but i don't care I love it.

Answer 10

your Funeral should be an expression of you - it should be seen as a time to celebrate the life you had and not a time to mourn the time you will not have. It is hard for those left behind to accept that at the time, but if you have your funeral your way, in time, they will look back and think -" yes that is exactly what you were all about, that is how I remember you"

People will grieve in their own way in their own time ask for this final expression of yourself in order they see all that you think and feel before it is too late and they can then remember.