We are both very happy and love each other very much! everyone is saying that we need to set a wedding date and asking when the wedding is, we have talked about it and want to stay engaged for a couple of years and enjoy that and not rush into getting married (spread everything out a bit I suppose) and people seem to think its weird? is this not normal? are you supposed to set a date and then plan the wedding straight away? Any ideas?
2007-12-10 07:15:04 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
The first thing people wanted to know when my fiance and i were engaged was when the wedding date was. We wanted a long engagement and the questions were starting to drive us mad so we dedicated one day on the weekend to picking a date or atleast a range of dates (eg a saturday in this month of this year) depending on availability.
So we printed out a calendar for every month between when we got engaged to when we wanted to have our wedding. One month to an A4 page so we could write on it. We then wrote in the birthdays of the bridal party and parents and grandparents so our wedding wouldn't be on a special person's birthday. As we are both teachers we put in all the school holidays because they were times we could get away. Then we put in public holidays etc and special days for our parents and grandparents to rule them out. Nothing worse than trying to get accomodation for your guests in the middle of a festival. The list went on to find what days cancelled by the events affecting our parents and us as a couple because that was who we wanted to be able to make it no matter what.
We actually found that after considering all these things that the best dates for our wedding were a year earlier than we were thinking of.
Even if this doesn't happen for you if you do this you can set a date and tell everyone it's the best date for you as a couple. Once they know you have set a date and are serious then people back off. I guess it's just something people do from fear of the engagement being broken off or just nervous curiosity.
Set a date or range of dates early and because it will show you have thought about it - you will be right
2007-12-10 10:35:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do whatever is the best for you. Don't let people act like you're weird or making a bad decision. I was engaged for a year, but because we were both ready to be married. We planned well, bought a house right before the wedding, and got married. For some that works, and for others they wait. This is your life, no one else's. Do what makes you happy!
2007-12-10 07:37:16 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think a long engagement is great, if you both agree on it. You get the time to "practice" being married. The commitment is in place, but you have a chance to get used to your new roles. Take this time to work on the hard issues: planning for kids (or no kids, if that is what you both want), working out financial goals, figuring out the politics of the respective families -- counseling would be great, but you can do it yourselves. Going through this process will make you better partners, and BONUS! It will help you make decisions about the wedding. (For example, once you know how much you need to save to buy a house, it's pretty easy to figure out how much your wedding/honeymoon should cost.)
Not weird at all -- very thoughtful and mature, actually. Congrats to you and your honey!
2007-12-10 07:26:48 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can wait as long as you want to. I have been engaged for 2 years... my wedding is in August 2008. The wedding itself takes about a year to or more to plan. Enjoy being engaged... you can always start talking about what kind of wedding you want and not set a date...
2007-12-10 07:24:01 · answer #4 · answered by jlstrysick 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ah, I think that it is pointless getting engaged and then not setting a date. Becomming engaged means he has asked you to marry him so it is time to make the date. Sorry.
Engaged is not limbo. It is not where you sit and bide your time until you are ready to commit to the wedding. YOu should not get engaged until you are ready to be married.
If you dont want to rush it, then just stay girfriend and boyfriend longer.
After 4 years together in which we moved from a distance relationship, to spending weekends at each others houses, to building our own home, to moving in together. We fineally got engaged on our 4 year anniversary, and are planning our wedding in 7 months time.
If I were you, I would be setting a date. Even if it is 18 months to 2 years away. Engagements any longer than 2 years are not good tho.
2007-12-10 07:55:45 · answer #5 · answered by bluegirl6 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Actually, you are doing the best thing that you can do. I am in the same situation. We are in no hurry. We both know where we are going, and we know that we are both set for life. Why be in such a hurry if you do not have to be? We are as happy as either of us have ever been in our lives, and we are enjoying every minute of our lives together. When they say things like that to you, just tell them that you are happy with the way things are with the two of you, and you will set a date when you get ready, that you are in no hurry bc you know where you are going, and a sheet of paper is not going to make that big of a difference. If you are looking for what is normal, it is said that most people remain engaged at least a year before getting married. I wish you the best!
2007-12-10 07:24:37 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do what is best for you! Why rush into the marriage if your not comfortable doing so. I knew a couple that were engaged for 5 years. It's not weird to wait a couple of years. Besides, that will give you time to get everything ready for your dream wedding. Enjoy your engagement and best of luck to you!
2007-12-10 07:24:07 · answer #7 · answered by Lenora2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think its weird. If you are not planning on getting married for a few years, then why get engaged so soon. IMHO you have to have a ring AND a date to be officially engaged. I'd hate to see women fall into the trap of being engaged and the guy never wanting to set a date because he is comfortable with things that way they are.
But you have to do what's good for you just be prepared to have people question why.
2007-12-10 08:39:32 · answer #8 · answered by tohumanity 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, to be perfectly honest, what's the point in being engaged if you're going to "spread everything out a bit"? I can understand having a long engagement for perhaps financial reasons or something like that, but like I said, I don't really see a point in being "engaged" for a long period of time just to do it. That's what the whole dating period is for. If the two of you already know each other and what-not, I say what are you waiting for?
2007-12-10 08:52:15 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
i say wait as long as you want. If you wanna wait for a little bit then wait. Hopefully this is the first and last time you'll be engaged so live it up.
And as for the people asking questions...just tell them you don't have a date yet but you plan on having a longer engangment then most couples. And they'll surely ask why. Just say "its gonig to be the first and last weedding of my life and we want to enjoy the planning and getting the wedding of our dreams" that should hush them up
2007-12-10 08:28:42 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋