Me and my boyfriend love each other very much..i would pretty much die without him..but we fight a lot...and sometimes we both say horrible things to eachother..but in the end we always love eachother...is it normal to be like that?..i know its not me...we don't fight unless he gives me attitude...and he usually gets mad over the stupidest things...is he insecure maybe? Help?
2007-12-10 07:01:03 · 26 answers · asked by lisa 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Sounds like my relationship. We have been together for three years and we still fight everyday. I guess it's normal but if it gets to the point where you aren't happy then leave. If you don't want to leave try talking about your problems, and try not to get him so worked up. Men are so hard headed I know. .
2007-12-10 07:05:16 · answer #1 · answered by Sammi 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When it comes to arguments, you have to pick and choose your battles. It's not necessarily a bad thing to fight, but if it happens continually for a variety of reasons, I think that's when it becomes a problem. If the two of you really love each so much, small things shouldn't become such a problem that the two of you start saying demeaning things to each other. It would probably be a good idea if you sat down and talked with him about why the two of you get into fights. After that, make a real effort on both of your parts to avoid fighting. There's nothing wrong with having a debate or discussion over something the two of you disagree on, but it shouldn't escalate to the point where someone's feelings get hurt.
2007-12-10 15:09:22 · answer #2 · answered by vgfreak77 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Fighting is a natural thing in a healthy relationship. My boyfriend and I have been the same way, and have been questioning it also. You need to be able to learn to speak to each other on a mature level if you want things to work. There shouldn't be any "saying horrible things to each other" because that, and sarcasm, can only lead to bigger fights. Do you know why he gives you attitude? There has to be something that sets him off. Learn these things, figure out what hurts him; tell him what hurts you. You both need to sit down and realize what you need to work on together and independently. I think that's a key to making it work, as long as you both want to make it work (as I assume you do or else you wouldn't be asking this). Good luck!
2007-12-10 15:06:50 · answer #3 · answered by Crazygirl9 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe it's insecurity, maybe it's he's a jerk, but if you're fighting and saying horrible things to each other now, how do you think it will be 5 or 10 years down the road when you get married? I mean, things are supposed to start off swimmingly, then it all goes downhill from there. Why start out at the bottom of the hill, you'll never be happy!
2007-12-10 15:04:41 · answer #4 · answered by chickpea 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may be normal for you but that doesn't make it best for you. People that love each other may fight, but they do not say horrible things to each other. Fighting should be reserved for the really important matters like respect and fidelity, not stupid things.
Sounds like you both need to learn to fight fair or move on down the road. Fighting fair means only fighting about things that REALLY matter. And then, attacking the action not the person. If you think you might regret saying something, then you should not ay it.
Life is short and fighting is not a good use of your time and eventually will kill your love. I say, stop the fighting - one way or the other.
2007-12-10 15:12:16 · answer #5 · answered by Linda F 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No it's not normal, and it takes two to tangle. If you both fight and later make up eventually the relationship will go sour and it will end by both going in seperate ways. The best thing to do is get a new perspective on what or how a relationship is suppose to be. Anger leads to hate and hate is the brother of death. Good luck
2007-12-10 15:17:50 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all you have to admit that it's both of you. Second I think that this is very normal, my boyfriend of 6 years and I fight all the time as well and we still love each other.
2007-12-10 15:04:40 · answer #7 · answered by Jami W 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all...you should say" my boyfriend and I," instead of "me and my boyfriend..." you're never too old to speak properly...
Your relationship sounds abusive, I think if you say horrible things to each other that is probably an indication that either or both of you are looking for a way out. You both need a good therapist. In fact, if you insist on remaining together, try couple's therapy. I'm glad I dont live next door to either of you.
I doubt if either of you really knows what love is...what you're doing right now doesn't sound like love to me. Good luck.
2007-12-10 15:10:26 · answer #8 · answered by Jeff B 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Assuming that it's not you, is a step in the wrong direction. If you notice he's irritated, don't enguage in an argument, instead, be kinder, and ask what is REALLY bothering him. It seems that you like to fight just as much as he does, because you're probably good at it. It is normal to argue a little.....but if you're doing it as a form of communication, there is something wrong, instead of yeliing it out....talk it over.
2007-12-10 15:06:57 · answer #9 · answered by Chris 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that as long as you both know you love eachother, you should be fine.
Try and talk about the things that you fight about and why you fight about them.
It could solve a lot of problems.
x
2007-12-10 15:04:19 · answer #10 · answered by Hannah x 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋