EXTREME lack of self-confidence?

Question

Why do i have guiltiness for one thing most of the time?
Is believing that you'll get punished ocd?
i feel that for the unwanted thought, i'll get punished by being unable to do thing properly in every aspect of life, such as my thought, movement, and everything will be of curse because of what i did
i feel this way anytime i convince myself of being guilty
i feel that i need to ask for forgiveness for what i said or else i'll get punished
i also kind of curse on myself that i'll be doing weird things like suddenly i'll think that i'll be thinking of my movement and im going to look weird, i know that but people are not likely to notice
there's nothing like this system of punishment, right?
the only difference and ultimate decision is between heaven and hell?
i having a hard time right now, kind of depressed about the blasphemy thing that i did a few years ago, can't let it go because it's such a big deal, but i can't remember if i said the blasphemy or not, i got frustrated saying it in my mind, so i let it out
i know it's time to move on, but..
1 hour ago - 3 days left to answer.
Additional Details
1 hour ago

answer this on clearly please, do you think whatever/anything you do, you have the right and the chance to move on and enjoy yourself?
23 minutes ago - 3 days left to answer.
Additional Details
21 minutes ago

the only thing i can do now is ask for forgiveness, but i don't want to, i feel like im getting dragged everywhere when i list all the reasons why i shouldn't be guilty and about other things
should i just not do it because it's my ocd?
everytime when i feel depressed or feel that i need to do something, should i ignore it and move on to fix this?
i want to fix it by myself but im ok for a few days, but it comes back, and i have to fight with it again or am i doing wrong?
20 minutes ago

hope you answer my questions instead of telling me to go because i've heard that over 100 times from just this section
13 minutes ago

if it's something that needs to be fixed, it everything that i do would be on my mind, but constantly have at mostly or more than one thing on my mind to think about all the time unless i convince myself that im free of it because of this reason
i always have to have a reason to have freedom, but there's too many category and factors to think about
14 hours ago - 3 days left to answer.
Additional Details
14 hours ago

i just think that the thing i did is a really big deal and it's going to make my life stationary
it's extremely bad
is this the most extreme thing to feel guilty about?
if i said f***ing jesus out loud, i don't even remember if i said his name or if i said it in my mind after the f word
what am i going through, extreme lack of self confidence?
14 hours ago

im not getting frustrated, im just worried and anxious and depressed

im really motivated and im a perfectionist maybe
i want to become a surgeon, so im really into studying and i love to be the best in everything, especially studies and sports
im really confident at times, but when i think about this or when it doesn't pass smoothly throught my mind, i fail to achieve my full potential

Answer 1

Therapy AND meds-get a psychiatrist

Answer 2

You might want to talk to a counselor, either at a church or at a clinic to discuss your issues.

That way, you can get help building up your self-confidence.