I have been dating a guy for about a year. He calls me his girlfriend, so I guess we are gf/bf. He is a perfect companion. He is respectful, honest, motivated, stable, friendly, handsome, helpful, just all around a perfect catch. One problem. I feel no chemistry twords him. I did in the first month we dated, everything was new and exciting. But for the past 10 months I feel nothing. I dislike kissing him and being intamate with him (many times a week) is something that I simply and respectfully put- dislike. He is head over heels for me and would and does anything for me. He is with me 6 days a week. I enjoy his company and feel that we would make a super partnership in life, however I am saddened because I feel there is no passion on my behalf. I have no desire for him at all. I told him I am missing chemistry but feel we are a great team, he only tries to come on stronger- :( . My friends and rents love him. Could I see a therapist or would they laugh at me?
2007-12-10 06:03:28 · 10 answers · asked by sentfromheaven 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
TMI but- I am a good girlfriend and satisfy him many times a week, I do not like it but I do it for him to show him I care about him and to keep him happy.
I was never physically attracted to him. But heis a super guy and we would live a GREAT life (minus any passion in my heart/body).
2007-12-10 06:22:22 · update #1
if you guys arent married/dont have kids, then why are you forcing it? why are YOU forcing yourself to stay? Life on this little planet is way to short not to be happy... so dont waste too much of your life on him, obviously he is not right for you.
The longer you wait, the harder it becomes to leave.. but you've got to for your own happiness.
Therapists cant MAKE you love someone, or turn your feelings into other happier feelings, they are more of an outlet for these feelings... but they cant change your feelings.
Your mind seems made up, youd be happier with someone else or along.. so again, life is too short not to have chemistry and total happiness with your partner. Get a new one, or be single.. either way you need to leave him.
2007-12-10 08:33:31 · answer #1 · answered by Peter Griffin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you felt passion for a man in the past? Do you truly feel it is a chemistry thing or is it something deeper in you? If it's just that you are not attracted to him in a sexual way, then the relationship is doomed in the romance department. It doesn't matter if your folks like him. You are the one who has to live with him. Denying yourself passion in life is worse than being alone. Try some therapy. That way you know where the problem is exactly. If it is the chemistry, then let him go. You will do him more harm than good by trapping him in a situation where he is not desired. Passion runs on different levels. You are passionate about someones presence, about their well being, about their happiness, about their body. You have to have all the ingredients or it will eventually make you hate him or vice versa. Switch places with him. How would you feel?
2007-12-10 15:45:07 · answer #2 · answered by Amy J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go See a therapist....
Sometimes there might be more to it than just lack of chemistry...
he sounds like a good guy and if you say that life partnership with him is possible than I say dont just leave the relationship.
do whatever you can do and if at the end the best option is to break up than at least you will know that you tried
2007-12-10 14:09:16 · answer #3 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
it sounds like you guys would be better off as just friends. i have had the same thing happen to me before. i tried to make it work but i just wasnt attracted to the guy in that way. he was really hurt at first but he got over it and now we are friends. you can usually tell who you should be with and it seems your body and your heart are saying no. you should just try to talk to him and tell him exactly how you feel. let him know you think it would be better to be friends. you will be a lot happier in the end.
2007-12-10 18:47:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if a therapist laughs are you report then to the board certification or medical bored. That would be completely unprofessional.
Maybe you just dont feel you have a future with him. You have no sparks. Seeing a therapist isnt a bad idea
2007-12-10 14:19:20 · answer #5 · answered by Scott 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you are just supposed to be best friends. I'm sure he would want to be with a woman that has the same desire for him, as he does for her... don't you think that's fair? If you plan on marrying him, then yes get therapy or your just going to be miserable your whole life... and he will be to.
2007-12-10 14:14:08 · answer #6 · answered by 221 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Therapists don't laugh at people when they come to their offices for help! Don't think you're ever going to shock any of them. Plus, they go thru therapy themselves. Sounds to me like he is just not the one and there is nothing wrong with you. If you're open to therapy, go for it. It's something you will never regret!
2007-12-10 14:08:14 · answer #7 · answered by nonameblonde 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sometimes at ur age chemistry may not be strong nothing wrong init. but y u dont like him despite he is very kind 2 u is integruing
2007-12-10 14:09:59 · answer #8 · answered by sandeep j 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmmm, i think my ex wife had the same thing.
i ended up having wild sex with my co worker, right on my office desk.
in a long run, it ain't gonna work.
cuz the first time he feels desired by a hot woman, he's gonna have hard time saying 'no'.
i did... i mean, i didn't say 'no'.
and thing is, i don't think i regret it.
2007-12-10 14:09:39 · answer #9 · answered by KJ 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
why are you with this guy?
please leave him so that the both of you can find a real mate.
oh, and just because he calls you his gf does not mean you hafta be. you are the one choosing to be w/him and sleep w/him, so stop!!
hope it works out...
2007-12-10 14:07:53 · answer #10 · answered by divamom 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋