So we are at the bar the other night and she starts asking me how many people I've been with. I tell her she has to go first. After another drink and some hesitation, she admits i "might be" number 30!!! I am 22 and have been with 10 girls. I knew she was a hornball before but I never expected that! Then she goes on to tell me that she started at age 14 and was "really bad because she did a lot of ecstacy" until age 17. She started saying something about "her and a girlfriend one time at the beach when she was 17" but then she wouldnt finish the story once she saw the look on my face. She claims in the past 7 years she has only been with 6 people. Do I need to walk away from this relationship now. I love her, but COME ON!
2007-12-10 05:47:02 · 37 answers · asked by skyguy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You've got yourself a little problem there dontcha...
2007-12-10 05:50:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
Ummm...that is a pretty high number but you def have to consider the age that she started. She has about 11 years experience. Think of it this way...if you spread it out evenly she has technically had sex with an average of 3 guys a year. We will say 1 guy every four months. That doesn't sound as bad. lol Anyway, she explained that she went through a troubled adolescence which explains when she racked up her biggest numbers. What you have to decide is if you think she is just some skank that sleeps around NOW or if she has changed her ways and is a reformed "bad girl". If it bothers you then move on but make sure it is worth it. Use people's past as guidance but not as the all and final word in who a person currently is. Good luck.
2007-12-10 05:56:38 · answer #2 · answered by ALeoStar 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's funny how the number of people someone has been with bothers so many people. I don't know why since it seems to bother so many people. Would it be better if you had been with more girls then she has guys? Perhaps you are a bit intimidated by this number and it makes you feel like you are an inexperienced lover? I would not even consider numbers as important. They are in the past now and there is nothing anyone can do about it except not dwell on it. See is with you and that is all that matters.
2007-12-10 05:59:27 · answer #3 · answered by FinallySmiling 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, I don't blame you for being upset. Your number is about right while her's is little high for 25 years old. Doing drugs and then being with both guys and girls at such a young age is concerning. When she spoke of it, was there regret? If not, and she was boasting about it, then I'd maybe worry a bit. But if she was regretting some of those experiences, then you really can't judge her if she's different now. Good luck! That's why this discussion is never a good thing in the first place but yet we all seem to have it!
2007-12-10 06:02:41 · answer #4 · answered by nonameblonde 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow! That is a lot of people that she has been with. The scariest thing about this is, no one really tells the truth about this. She may have been with 30 or she may have been with 60. Regardless, I think she should get tested and if you have done anything with her, you need to get tested as well. Has she ever cheated on you?
Now it is a good thing that she is upfront and she has told you the truth. Once you both have been tested and your test results come back fine and you know she hasn't also cheated on you, honestly, I would give her a try after all, you do love her and I am sure she loves you as well.
Honesty is always the best policy and she was very truthful with you. I hope this helps you. Good luck!
2007-12-10 05:53:56 · answer #5 · answered by mikyon 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There is a difference between being a hornball and a sllut. And I'm sorry, but she is rather slutty. If the number of people she has been with doesn't bother you that much, and she is staying faithful to you, then don't worry about it..let it go. It's her past..and we all make mistakes. I would get checked for std's and all of that, both of you, just incase.
As odd as it may sound..there IS a plus side to this. You know that she is honest and not a liar. She could have told you she's been with three people, or five. But she didn't..she was honest..and that is definitely a good thing.
2007-12-10 05:51:36 · answer #6 · answered by Odette 1 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Hello,
I'm just like your girlfriend.
I'm 26 and my husband is 25.
I have to admit that it's not easy for us sometimes, cause I have more experience than him.
But, what I can advice you is to mantain your self esteem.
Because her or any other girl will like you if you have a hight self esteem.
She might have been with lots of guys, but probably, no one could give her love and attenttion. This is what everybody is looking for.
(I apologyse my English writting, I'm from Yahoo Brasil)
So, what I'm saying is....
Don't feel like going away just because you are frightened.
I'll tell you a secret: You can be much more than those guys in her life if you be able to touch in her hart. Love her. These is what any guy has done before, cause they weren't brave enought.
2007-12-10 06:05:42 · answer #7 · answered by YOW 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
How can you judge her for her behaviors--you are obviously not a virgin. This is a conversation you never should have had. I am married--not a clue how many girls he was with before me. Knew he was disease free and that was enough for me. There is no need for this info to be exchanged--all it does it plant doubt and give you ammunition for later arguments. You have dated her up until now, if you like her-who cares? If you were a virgin, you could throw stones, but you are not--so you cant. You said it yourself--you love her. This means you love all of her, good and bad. Accept her for what she is and what she was. "come on", you come on and let it go.
2007-12-10 05:54:18 · answer #8 · answered by pupgirl 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Everyone has a past. Don't ever ask or answer that question again. The next time it could be you saying 10 and she'll freak out because she's only had 2.
She is who she is because of where she's been. Do you like who she is? If so then let this go and have fun dating her.
2007-12-10 05:52:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Don't be an ass. If you love her, if she's being faithful, stay where you are. She opened up to you with personal information, unless she's cheating it's cold of you to hold that against her. Maybe I'm a little biased because I was a bit of a **** in my teens, but people do change. I've been with two men in the last ten years. Give her a chance.
2007-12-10 05:55:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can't control her past, and shouldn't judge her because of it. If she exhibits behavior that makes you think she has not changed, then get rid of her. But, she was open about it, and that usually means one of two things: she was bragging, or has changed and wants you to know that. I wouldn't walk away from it because it's her history, and she can't do anything about it. But if it makes you uncomfortable, then I don't think she's for you. My only question is if you didn't know this, would you want to be with her? If the answer is yes, then maybe you should give her the benefit of the doubt. Good Luck!
2007-12-10 05:53:05 · answer #11 · answered by Lisa M 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋