I usually make Italian food for Christmas - chicken parm etc... She also says I shouldn't put any anti-pasta out (just POTATO CHIPS!!!) because everyone will be full and not eat. What should I do? Make the ham with everything else or not make anything else just the ham? Or some other suggestion?
2007-12-10 05:46:48 · 13 answers · asked by Amy K 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
BTW, I don't have a problem with her paying for a ham (she wants it from Sam's), however, she has refused to do any holidays herself. I've never ever just put out potato chips for an appetizer - it is a holiday and I do more for football on Sundays than potato chips! She only does potato chips. Also, I did the ham once and I had tons of it left over and it got thrown away (yes it was Honey-Baked).
2007-12-10 06:02:38 · update #1
TB - yes, she usually tries to tell me what to do.
2007-12-10 06:12:02 · update #2
Also, I would never go to her house for a meal and tell her what to make (for example -some appetizers)!
2007-12-10 06:14:27 · update #3
Make the ham and make what ever else makes you happy. That way you and her are happy eating what you both like and you won't have a problem with her on Christmas. Just do it for the holiday.
2007-12-10 15:18:55 · answer #1 · answered by butterflyz129 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she feels bad that she never cooks for the holidays and wants to contribute by purchasing a ham. If that doesn't work for you tell her to pick up desert or what ever beverage your family drinks. I would cook what you had already planed what is the point in doing a ham if it ends up in the garbarge? I would just ignore her complaining about the food and buy her a bag of chips. Also the anti-pasta are a big hit just don't make so much of it. I come from an Italian family and potato chips would not work in my house. Good Luck.
2007-12-11 01:11:58 · answer #2 · answered by Kat G 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You really need to tell us about your usual relationship with your mother-in-law. Does she usually try to tell you what to do? Do you have a good relationship with her otherwise?
As a first reaction, I would not say that she is being rude. Maybe she really doesn't understand why you would have Italian food at Christmas. I know that I don't really understand it. Maybe she knows that other people will be looking for the ham. Maybe she thinks that the reason you are avoiding the ham is because of the cost.
If she is willing to pay for the ham so that there will be something there that she wants to eat, I don't see the problem. You should probably talk to your husband. He probably has a better idea of what is going on. If you have a good relationship with your mother-in-law, she may have already talked to him about her feelings. Or, she may have talked to him about the situation but he never really thought to say anything to you about it.
Don't get offended until you have all the information.
2007-12-10 06:00:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
No she is not being rude.
Sounds like she enjoys having ham instead
of Italian food and does not want to be rude
about it. Still make everything else that you
normally do. Offer chips as well as anti-pasta.
Maybe you can make just a little less of every-
thing so that you do not have so much left over.
2007-12-10 06:07:30 · answer #4 · answered by EMT-207 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
NO,honey it isn't rude matter of fact my ex-mother in law use to give me the money all the time for the turkey or the ham and I'd go get it,and then I 'd cook it and have everyone else bring a covered dish from their house and we called it dinner.
Don't put anything out to eat before and you'll be fine.
2007-12-10 05:58:08 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she is trying to tell you that she appreciates ham for Christmas. That is not rude. Maybe make her a nice ham and still bake what you like too. A little variety never hurt anyone. Remember, we all have our sentimental attachments. When we start trying harder to observe the feelings of everyone, people are given a great opportunity for improvement.
2007-12-10 05:54:28 · answer #6 · answered by Perry the Bear 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
My mother-in-law would offer to buy the ham or turkey. She's not being rude, but she wants to help out with what can be an expensive meal.
You can either tell her you are sticking with your Italian menu at your home, or you can choose to honor her desire for a more traditional Christmas dinner. Neither one is wrong or right as long as you communicate clearly and politely.
2007-12-10 05:52:48 · answer #7 · answered by detailgirl 4 · 5⤊ 0⤋
I'd make the ham and everything else. Maybe it is her way of hinting that she doesn't like Italian food, maybe too spicy or something? Heck, if she is paying get a Honeybaked Ham from the store, they taste awesome and are so easy.
2007-12-10 05:51:20 · answer #8 · answered by beaners1229 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Take the money and buy her damned ham. And make your (I'm sure, delicious) Italian dish. Wrap up the extra ham and hand it to her as she's headed towards to door to go home. It's your dinner party!!!!!
2007-12-10 06:38:42 · answer #9 · answered by zen 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Make the ham as well as what you usually do.
2007-12-10 06:44:32 · answer #10 · answered by Terri 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋