so my brother has been with this girl for a little over 2 years but she has created all sorts of hell in the family so we all made the decision to not have her in our lives but we still want contact with my bro but she answers his phone deletes his messages checks his e-mail and the deletes them she has full control over his life and is making him pick her over his family how do we get through to him that she is controlling and manipulative how can we get through to him and let him know he deserves so much better??
any advise????
2007-12-10 05:36:31 · 11 answers · asked by Babygurl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Yes, my advice is to leave it alone. Your brother knows what she is like and when he's fed up he will leave...
Some people are manipulative and controlling because they have problems, and i'm sure your brother's girlfriend needs some sort of help...
You know your brother deserves better, and someday he will realize it on his own. By trying to tell him how to run his life, you may shove him away.
take care and i hope it works out.
2007-12-10 05:42:39 · answer #1 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
From personal experience I say leave it alone. Either way you've already lost him. By making a move it can get worse.
My Husband and I had some issues with my brother's GF, instead of her confronting us, my brother came up to me and start yelling at me instead. The GF didn't have the decency to talk it out with me or my Husband, she choose to cry to my brother and told him that we were bad mouthing her when it was only a small issue that could have been resolved but she chose to make it into something bigger. In the end, my brother try to make me choose between my Husband and him. Which I don't get why he would bring it up? It's not about choosing anyone it was about resolving the issue. To him it was like I was on my Husband's side, so therefore I've already chosen him. From there my brother said that we are no longer, "brother/sister" because I chose to be on my Husband side and not his. First of all it wasn't his issue to begin with his mind is just totally whacked and it sucks that it happen but it did.
We haven't talked for months as much as I hurts all I can do right now is leave it as it is. He'll have to live with his decisions.
2007-12-10 06:20:21 · answer #2 · answered by Flower 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is his choice but you guys all have the right to your views as well. My brother hooked up with an ex gf (from HS) after getting divorced. Her cousin and I are good friends so I know everything she has done since and she has said very rude things to me and about him over the years- he didnt hear them whereas I did (from her mouth). I am not prepared to forget about it at this time. My parents and grandparents think questionably of her but have decided to live with it and get mad because I wont. We do not have family get togethers with both of us there which bothers my mother but beyond that, life goes on. I dont like her, we all think she is sucking his money out of him like a leach but everyone else decided it was his life to ruin- I just wont be a participant
2007-12-10 05:48:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is over 18 there is nothing that you can do except remain your wonderful selves. Hopefully he will see the light someday. This is quite a common story unfortunately. Trying to fight it only makes it worse. Important that you do not blame HER for the entire thing as he is a big boy
2007-12-10 05:43:46 · answer #4 · answered by barthebear 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't call him or email him, go talk to him, tell him how you and your family has been trying to contact him but because what she's doing you can't.
Tell him that your family will always be there for him, that it's his choice (obviously) to stay with that girl but your family can't, that you did your best. Tell him everybody loves him regardless of what she might be saying and he knows where he can find you.
2007-12-10 05:46:04 · answer #5 · answered by Lulu 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
im in the same boat as you. my bro has a g/f that everyone in our family hates. she has made him pick her over his father, mother, sister, brother and his own children. we have all helped him when he needed money and he never repays and gives us the coldshoulder. its to the point now we dont even bother. its terrible cause we were all very close until this g/f came in picture. now none call him. if he wants us he knows how to reach us. we cant accept her cause we know who she is. shes shown her true colors more then once. i myself told my bro you want me you know where i am. and left it at that. he knows shes not welcome at our homes. luckly we all still talk to the mother of his children so we see them still. good luck
2007-12-10 05:59:29 · answer #6 · answered by kitttkat2001 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She does all that because he allows it. There is nothing you can do except accept his decision.
Either he is going to get fed up and get rid of her or this might end up being a sister-in-law from HELL!!!
2007-12-10 05:44:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It relies upon on your loved ones challenge. in case you have a reliable family contributors - %. them. they're going to continually be there for you. Boyfriends/girlfriends come and bypass. in case you're in a challenge the place they're making you choose between them and your loved ones then you definately should not be with them. they could understand your loved ones. And if its vice versa - you're family contributors making you choose, clarify to them which you like them yet its your existence. If issues get to the place you're able to choose..evaluate the relationships with the two your pal and your lover. i could choose my family contributors, yet it somewhat is in basic terms me.
2016-10-02 08:07:11 · answer #8 · answered by te 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dub her as the "jealous wife." He has no more sense than she does.
2007-12-10 05:43:15 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Cut him loose.
2007-12-10 05:40:53 · answer #10 · answered by john c 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋