lately our relationship has been hard to cope with. I cry almost every day, we argue constantly over pointless things,we have almost completely lost our love life, we lash out at eachother in anger and sometimes it becomes physical.But I feel like after 5 years of being toghether,having an 18 month old son, and currently planning our wedding.Splitting isn't an option. Im always depressed. I want love. I need love.but i can't get it from him.I have a friend whom i've known just as long, but lately i haven't been as social with him because im always upset and i dont want him to see me like this. but ive been talking to him and thinking about how much i really care about him and i know he feels the same for me.but hes moved on and is dating someone and has been for a while. he knew i would stay with who im with no matter what.but im realizing my feelings for him more and more each day. i see him with her and it tears my heart out to see how happy they are.I want him, but should I.
2007-12-10 04:48:15 · 85 answers · asked by Brittany W 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Before you cheat, just cut off the relationship for the best. At LEAST give yourselves a break. You'll only add more fuel to the fire if you cheat on him first.
2007-12-10 04:51:03 · answer #1 · answered by Diana 3 · 9⤊ 0⤋
Life is way TOO short for all that drama, besides you have a son to worry about, which should be a more enough reason to make right choices. But you should NOT stay in a relationship like that and you shouldn't go trying to make it worst by cheating on him. Try consouling and if you strong enough seperate for awhile, that way you can really think about what you want. And you both can relax your nerves before the wedding. Ask you self these question. Do you really want to live the rest of your life with that person? What is more important to you? What do you really need in a husband/boy-friend? It is sometimes best to let go of people. You need someone that will make you and your son happy. Good luck
2007-12-10 05:04:48 · answer #2 · answered by ruthie p 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
keep the faith sister,ur arguement's are likely he cann't relate to u and vise versa.doing this relating thing will take more time and effort than a quickie withother guy.get everything out of ur bedrm or spare room make it (the room) u and his personal brothal.u both loose sight of what ur fighting for
work hard and entice him to do the same @ what attracted u to eachother in the first place u have skills he doesn't possess but wants and vise versa commonly what attracted u to him will be what breaks the relationship if ur patient these things can make u both ahead of the game u both need @least one date night a wk. and u need one night for just u to get away from it all why u because he's not stuck in the same environment all day he gives u that then u can do things he's into and ur not go into it with the attitude that if nothing else u'll know a little more about him and that can't be all bad
2007-12-10 05:08:34 · answer #3 · answered by Susan V 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No, don't cheat. I know from experience, I cheated on my boyfriend of four years, and it was the worst experience of my life. Try talking to him, with a child and a wedding on the way I am sure you are very stressed. Try talking to him, spending alone time together, and remember the little things that attracted you to eachother in the first place. Maybe go to a councler. I guarentee if you cheat with your friend you will ruin your relationship and your friendship. Tell your friend how you have been feeling AFTER you smooth things over with your man. I'm sure it's just a little fantasy your mind has come up with, at least thats how it was for me. Good luck with everything.
2007-12-10 05:30:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why isn't splitting up an option? Staying together will only make both of you miserable. Your baby will end up emotionally scarred because of this dysfunctional relationship.
Cheating will not help anything and will probably make things much much worse. What you should do is get your boyfriend to go to couples counseling with you so you can learn how to communicate more effectively and to get at the root of the problem. If you don't deal with this, it will never go away and you'll end up being 40 years old, hating the world, with a son who is angry with his parents because he grew up in an unhealthy environment. Please get help! There are inexpensive options for people who don't have a lot of money. Good luck.
2007-12-10 04:54:10 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
call off the wedding.
end the hostile relationship and do each other a favour.
it is better for the child in the long run. you want a stable environment for the child, which you do not have......
Anything would look better than what you have....of course this guy looks good to you!!!
Do not jump from the frying pan to the fire...
get on your feet, clean house and move on in a positive direction with your life.
you are fooling yourself if you think this will get better.
splitting is the only option here my dear...
you are miserable now and you are planning a wedding!!!!!!!!!!
call the wedding off, and don't be a fool.
you are not ready to marry this guy ever.... don't waste your time and money here.
you do not want this, you do have an option, who cares what anyone else thinks.. this is your life, do not throw it away.....break up with the fiancee.....so you loose money... doesn't matter.......
you life , health and stability is at stake here....
2007-12-10 04:56:35 · answer #6 · answered by doclakewrite 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not at all. Cheating is never the answer, in fact, it will make your situation worse. Your current fiance could even leave you for it. Explain to him, your fiance, how you feel, in terms of wanting love.
Another thing; fighting is normal, but excessive fighting isn't.
If you love him and want to keep your relationship going, then communicate. Give your love that fighting chance.
Your mind may also be clouded with the happiness of your friend, but if you love him the same way as you do your fiance, then you really need to make a decision.
Keep in mind the interests of your son as well.
2007-12-10 04:53:59 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
In the end it is what you feel is best. However I can only tell you what I would do in hopes that it will help you to come to a decision. I have realized that I need to be content with my life and the people around me. I know that if I leave my fiancé for something shinier then I’m no better then the men who left his family for the nanny.
There is always going to be someone hotter, sexier, more understanding, more outgoing, more affectionate, and less a ***. Just remember no ones perfect well expect me. Good luck
2007-12-10 05:11:56 · answer #8 · answered by Rid E 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Absolutely not. But I do understand your point completely. You're unhappy so you're going to try to find love somewhere else. Maybe the grass will be greener on the other side..but maybe not. And if you want to make the decision you need to first split with your current boyfriend. You two have been together for 5 years and share a beautiful gift from God together, just try to remember what brought you together in the first place. I am always here to talk, dreamhands06@yahoo.com. Please email me, I'd love to give you some more advice personally. God Bless!
2007-12-10 04:53:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
So how is cheating on him going to improve your relationship? IT will just make everything worse. Yes you have a kid, so do lots of divorced or single people. You need to tell him what you need and what you want. If he does not deliver soon, cancel the wedding and move on. Why would you get married if you are not happy dating? Marriage is HARD. You need to reassess your life. If this marriage does happen and you are still miserable--how do you think that will affect your son? Negatively, he will see the fighting and misery and he will develop problems over it.
2007-12-10 04:53:37 · answer #10 · answered by pupgirl 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
NO. If your planning on getting married that will ruin everything. You either leave your bf or stay and make it work but DO NOT cheat. Maybe your both under a lot of stress. Get a sitter and go out or go away for the weekend somewhere nice and quiet (NH, even the Cape is romantic in the winter). Leave or FIX IT- those are your only decent options.
2007-12-10 04:53:09 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋