Please,any Opinions or Advice will help so much, Iam in so much pain?

Question

So this past friday things where abruptly broken up between us because she said she just lost feelings, and was very confused, and didnt know who she was, I was in shock, now on saturday she calls me and we talk and at the end of the call she says "I love you". Sunday in the morning, same thing as saturday we talk and everything seems like it might be ok, she doesnt call me later but I see her online and shes deleting all of are pics off photobucket/myspace, and says her "friends" are what she needs, these are the same friends who caused her to drink and hate life before. So I call her and shes says its over get it through your head and also says some very hurtful things. Later that night she calls me and says shes sorry for saying those hurtful things and that shes just very cofused, and says she loves me. Now this is killing me inside, because i love her more then anything so everytime she calls it gives me hope. but i think thats hurting more then just cutting it right now, help????

and on sunday night, i find that she was on the phone talking to guy "friends", what is she doing please, help

shouldnt her parents talk to her or somthing, because these "friends" are telling her to drop me, but there bums who drink and party all the time

Iam feeling so much pain right now, Iam shaking and sick

why does she keep on calling me, PLEASE help me understand

when you love some one, and know this isnt the real them, shes not like this and its sad

Answer 1

1) i think thats hurting more then just cutting it right now, help????
Stop taking her calls, block her number; don't contact her at all.


2) shouldn't her parents talk to her or something,
Yes but that probably won't change what's happening between you 2.


3) Iam feeling so much pain right now, Iam shaking and sick
Go to a psychiatrist asap.


4) why does she keep on calling me, PLEASE help me understand.
She's stringing you along, playing with your emotions, using you as a Yo-Yo on her pinky finger just to amuse herself. She doesn't love you or care about you, she's just playing games.

♪♫Tweedle Dee...Tweedle Dum♪♫

Answer 2

Honey, you're obviously in shock - and in pain. We've all been there. It sucks bigtime.

BUT she broke up with you - as you put it - lost feelings for you.

Worse yet, she seems to want to have her cake and eat it too. She wants the familiarity of having you around because she knows you love her dearly (to your credit) but she also wants to play the field and go and come whenever she pleases.

It can't be both ways honey.

So what you will have to do - and I'm sorry to have to tell you this - is to tell her that she hurt you terribly and that you simply don't want to have anything to do with her for the time being. It's ok - I mean, it's not ok that she hurt you - but you're a big boy and you're ok that she needs her space. However, she can't have it both ways - that's selfish and unfair and cruel to you.

You must not return her phone calls, texts or email. If she comes knocking at your door - tell her to go away, that you really don't have anything to say to her and she has already said enough. Even if she cries - tell her to go away. Even if she begs - go away. Even if she apologizes - go away.

What she's going to have to learn is - you can't have it both ways and she chose not to be with you - she can't come back and think that nothing happened.

You're not angry - just realistic - and the reality is - she isn't ready for the kind of love and relationship a nice guy like you wanted to give her.

It's her loss. AND she will indeed beg, cry, sob, whatever.

That's going to be hard to resist - but please do so. she'll only drag you through the mud again. You don't deserve that.

Cutting it off right now - and sticking to it - is really difficult - but what is worse - the festering wounds and the re-tearing of your heart? the mistrust she's sown? The degrading nausiating feeling that she's only using you (which she is)? The feeling of being made a sap and a fool?

Honey, she left you. Live with that and move on. Your relationship is history and history is about dead things. This is dead. Let the dead stay dead.

I'm sorry. But you will survive this - and eventually find a great girl who deserves a nice guy like you.

Answer 3

Going for the shock factor by 'snogging' some guy in front of your mum was never going to be a good idea. Whether gay or straight, no parent is going to enjoy that. You seem to be trying to come out for the wrong reasons - it sounds like you intentionally cause heartache and hurt to your family. I'm sorry to say it that way, but from what you said, it's what I believe. Bear in mind that Christmas is a) an annual event and b) at it's core, a religious one. Greeting them Christmas morning wearing nothing but a rainbow sock is going to ruin Christmas for years to come. Not just for the adults, potentially for any children in the family too. Don't do it Christmas Day, either before, or after, but not on Christmas. Do it privately. Tell your parents first, and hey, it's gets you out of one more 'go' when then tell the rest of your family for you! Do it in an adult, respectful manor. The way you tell them is just as important as what you're telling them. Have you given them a Christmas card yet? Perhaps write it in a card, honestly and with no 'spice', leave it some place your parents will find it, and let them come to you. If they don't, they aren't ready to hear it anyway. Forget about it for now. There are bigger things in life than fighting among your family.

Answer 4

You need to step away. I wouldn't give up yet, but she clearly has a lot going on in her head. She's confused, give her some space & time, if she goes in the wrong direction, there's nothing you can do, though talking to her parents if it's serious isn't a bad idea. Tell her to stop calling like that, tell her you want to be there for her, but it's causing you too much pain. If she keeps calling, don't answer. I hope she comes around, but all you can do it wait & see. Good luck. I'm sorry you're in pain

Answer 5

She is obviously in a mess at the moment and you are letting her use you as a punch bag. Back off, next time she phones tell her you love her but cannot take any more c***. Just let her know when she has made her mind up you may be around but in the mean time get on with your life. This is the only way to ease the pain, go out with friends and try to carry on.

Answer 6

I myself am having similar relationship problems right now. It sounds like she needs some space right now. I am guessing that while you were together she didn't go out with friends much and you were both together a lot of the time, this is how most relationships are, including mine. if this is the case, she may need some time to find herself, find out who SHE really is, what makes her happy. See in order for anyone to love and be happy with another person you must first learn how to love yourself and learn how to be happy with yourself and not depend on someone else in life for love and happiness. I have discovered this recently. I have always felt that if I make sure my boyfriend is happy then i will be happy too, this is a bad way to think and feel because in the end, all you've got is yourself. You have to think about yourself and care for yourself before you can be with other people and try to make them happy.
The reason things might have seemed ok and she was saying she loved is possibly because she is lost and confused but she knows that she does love you but she just needs some space but doesn't know how to tell you and doesn't want to hurt you and i'm sure she is having a rough time with this too and hurting and she probably just wants it all to be over with but its hard, it takes time.
If she does end up wanting space and time to find herself and be with friends then thats something you might have to give her in order for things to eventually be better for the both of you. maybe you should do the same while she is out finding herself, go be with friends, make new friends, make yourself happy. obviously if you both do this and give each other time and space and take a break then theres a risk that you might not end up back together. This is a risk you will both have to take to improve your own lives and hopefully in the end when you are both happy, you can be happy together and make things work. This whole process should help you both in the end but during the process it will be painful, especially in the beginning, its hard, it sux but you have to stay focused and remember you have to live for you and not someone else.
you guys could stay in touch and meet up like twice a month or something as friends or whatever you'd like. i think this would help keep you focused on yourself, help keep u motivated and remind yourselves why you are doing what you're doing, to better yourselves so in the future you can be happy together. This would also give you a chance to have fun with someone you care about deeply and see them again, because without that other person there for you, without any motivation or love, this whole thing can be too painful alone.
you have to be strong for yourself. love yourself. be happy because each day is a new day that God has given you.
I hope this advice helps for both of you and makes sense. If you have any other questions or problems I'd be glad to help if I can.

Answer 7

She's playing love games. Some chicks are hooked on the trauma and drama. Personally, I'd tell her you both need some space to figure out where you are going with this. I wouldn't necessarly sever all ties, but I certainly would loosen them a bit.

Answer 8

Dude she is doing you such a big favor. Let her drop you and don't look back. This woman is way too much drama. Don't take her calls and move on. Surely you can do better than this. Look under a rock. Behind a barn. Better is pretty much where ever you look.

Answer 9

ohhhhh boy... okay breath.. look if you feel that she is going the wrong route then you need to help her as a friend first dont go to her rents she will really hate you then... and maybe she is confused but you need to unconfuse her.. be her friend first cuz thats what she is wanting.. i know it might hurt but like give her back her own medicine tell her that friends is what yall should be and then you will see how it shocks her and she will start acting different.. stand you ground..

Answer 10

She doesnt know what she wants and if you did get back togther than it prob wouldnt last by the sounds of things. Ask her outright - do you want/love me? If not or she is not sure then leave her well alone! When your in love you dont see what is really happening, trust me! Stay away!