What's the deal with being Wiccan?

Question

I personally don't follow any organized religion anymore but isn't Wicca just about control. Everyone I've ever known to be Wiccan is deeply depressed, cuts or self-injures, and feels the need to control things. Is that what that "religion" is supposed be about or do these people have it wrong? My stepdaughter thinks she the greatest because when she takes a candle flame between her thumb and forefinger she can move the flame....well who can't do that. She honestly believes she's in control of the fire. And the spells and potions. someone please help me try to understand this.....

Answer 1

I'm sorry, that's hysterical.

Most of the Wiccans I know are over 35, and their biggest problems are things like being overweight, paying the mortgage on time, keeping the kids out of trouble....

stuff like that.

I don't even have any tattoos. I have hypoglycemia and when I test my blood sugar I have to have my wife poke my finger... I can't imagine I'd make a good cutter.

Actual labgrrl line: "Hey, the cat stratched my finger open, I guess I should test now!"

Answer 2

Definitely not the best picture of true Wicca. While there does seem to be the trend of the "depressed emo high school chick" being into Wicca, saying that all Wiccan embody this image is a gross overstatement and stereotype! Other Wiccans and Witches often call these folks "Fluff Bunnies". I know many Wiccans and my personal beliefs are very similar. I nor any of the Wiccans I know fit that profile. I am a very happy and bubbly person and far from depressed and my friends are perfectly happy and some are married and have kids. Most Wiccans are gentle, happy, nature loving people who follow "In in harm none do what thou will" (which even applies to harming ones self. So Wicca in no way promotes but is in fact against self mutilation of any kind). Your stepdaughter may be dealing with some issues that go beyond her choice of religion. I would sit down and talk to her and find out why she feels the need to control things. I also think that both you and her do some real research into what Wicca is. She may also need to read a book by someone other than Silver Ravenwolf! I hope I was able to answer your question! These people definitely have it wrong and probably need a good ol fashion reality check. I also thought I should meantion that while magic does require control over your energies and of the energies around you, it's not what magic is about. One should never use magic because they enjoy controll....eaisy way to mess up your karma!

Edited for misspelling lol! And added a bit.

Blessed Be!
Kayla

http://witchvox.com
http://www.religioustolerance.org/
Both good sites I highly recomend!

Answer 3

Not everyone who is deeply depressed, cuts or self-injures, and feels the need to control things is Wiccan anymore than everyone who is Wiccan is deeply depressed, cuts or self-injures, and feels the need to control things. Many people seem to use "religion" as a control mechanism. They would use anything that way.

Part of the problem is what you mean by "Wicca", many use the word in reference to any of the "new age" spiritual paths, it is becoming a catch-all word almost as much as "Pagan".


For me studying Wicca was a freeing experience, I was depressed and it helped me expand my thinking and find links with something more than mySelf.
I don't see Wicca as a truly "organized" religion, unless you happen to be a member of a group and then it it just because you have to get the members to agree on something, even if it just the time of month or day to meet..

A friend of mine was atheist and when her daughter came to her and said she was interested in Wicca my friend looked into it as she was a responsible mother who didn't want her daughter involved in something "dangerous". Concerning her research on Wicca she said, "The books all talked about love and nature. I didn't see anything wrong with that."
I do not know how old your stepdaughter is but there are times when they just need to see themselves as "the greatest". As to the the spells, I do not know what spells she is researching or using, but a responsible Wiccan wouldn't use spells on others or for harm. Potions, well if you really look at what the word is about when you use something like a tea or a cough syrup you are using a potion. The only difference I can see is a potion is usually prayed or meditated over to empower it to work toward healing, relaxation, energy, protection, etc.
For spells and potions intent is the most important part.
I would hope her intent is positive.

Blessings

Answer 4

As a Wiccan, I can honestly say that your stepdaughter is not the brightest person to call themselves a Wiccan. Unfortunately, she's by no means the dumbest either.

I'd suggest that you read a few books about Wicca by Wiccan authors. There are a lot of immature people that try to use magic as a way of getting control over their lives, the same way that others use Christianity, Judaism, or any other religion to make themselves feel more "powerful" by having something bigger than themselves on their side. This may or may not be a phase, but either way, it sounds like she isn't feeling like she's in control of her life.

Wicca is about control of every aspect of the self and aligning yourself with nature. If she's just throwing spells around, then what she's doing isn't Wicca, but trying to gain control of her own life by controlling the world around her.

Also, brava for taking an active interest in your stepdaughter.

Answer 5

As the other answerer's (the ones that actually seem to know what the heck they are talking about) have told you those are the fluff bunnies. The ones that saw Buffy and said "oh oh I wanna be like willow" or the ones that saw The Craft and thought it was awesome. The real followers of Wicca are not like that and most do not cast "spells" as you would see in the movies. The religion is not really about control per say because none can control nature. And in all honesty I used to be one of those whiney kids that cut himself and tried to commit suicide. But that was when I was a Christian. Since I found the Pagan paths I have become much more adjusted and happy. I know a lot of Pagans of all different types that are very well adjusted members of society. These people are happily married, hold down some great jobs, and give back to society as much as possible. You have had the unfortunate mishap of running into the Idiots that make the religion look bad. Of course there are those in every religion. The Catholics had Hitler, Islam had Osama Bin Laden, Etc.

Answer 6

You should meet more Wiccans. The ones you know sound disturbed or just immature. I'm a Witch. I do not cut myself, or feel the need to control. I no doormat either. I am the change I want to see in the world. I do feel responsible for my actions. I feel I am a part of nature and just as rare and marvelous as a star, a delicate flower or a waterfall. I believe you are too. We all are. I'm not a sad sack either and I am not silly enough to think playing around with a candle flame is high magic. As far as the spells and potions go, remember that the trappings of ALL religions seem strange to outsiders. Are you washed in the blood of the lamb? That freaks me right out. It sounds weird, gory and gross. But, some people find it sweet and uplifting. What can I say? It takes different strikes for different folks.

Answer 7

Oh wow, these are pretty bad stereotypes, and false. Sure, some Wiccans suffer from depression, which is a disease, but no more or less than people of other religions. Same with the cutting and control. The actual Wiccans I know are responsible, happy, and healthy adults. We like to have control over our own lives, but Wicca is not about controlling the elements, nature, or other people.
You don't say how old your step-daughter is, but I bet she's pretty young. Get here to a doctor ASAP because she sounds clinically depressed and possibly delusional. When those issues are addressed, the religion thing will fall into place.

Answer 8

I actually became happier and more peaceful after becoming Wiccan. Those you describe are probably not Wiccans, but emos and goths using the term "witch" for shock value. A Wiccan who follows the Rede would not be a cutter or self-injurer because the Rede states that so long as it doesn't harm anyone, you can do what you wish. This also includes doing no harm to yourself. The only thing I feel compelled to control is my own life.

Perhaps your stepdaughter thinks it is interesting to move the flame because she has never seen anyone else do it before or yet? Have you tried to explain to her the physical/scientific reasoning on why she isn't actually controlling the flame? Or do you rather just sit there and call her crazy?

Answer 9

In my experience, the study of the Craft is best applied to personal empowerment while keeping yourself deeply humble. Interesting experience you relate. Pretty much everyone I've ever known who was into Wicca, Witchcraft, Neo-Paganism, Recon, whatever - are the silliest people on Earth who love to laugh their heads off, tease each other, be a smartass, listen to Monty Python, put silly hats on the dog, tell fart jokes, and find great joy in the simple things of life. Let's see a show of hands! *raise hand* Guess we run in different circles. Some might say the Universe brings you the people who will teach you the next lessons. Maybe the lesson is black eyeliner. Or maybe it's looking more deeply into people and not just looking at the surface. The study of magick is sacred. Spells, potions, amulets, energies of the plant, animal and mineral worlds - can be powerful allies. But only foolish people call these allies for superficial reasons. If someone came to our group deeply depressed and self-injuring, if they were seeking health we'd help them find it. If they hung around us long enough, we'd tease and kid them out of it eventually, even if they didn't want some energy work. Your stepdaughter sounds like a teenager. Unlike many who responded here, I wouldn't give her a label and be snotty about her or put her down. I love encouraging and empowering kids! I'd say get her into a class, or buy her something more fun to play with, like a Tarot deck or some runes or dowsing rods. Play play play! Life is love! Hugs all!

Answer 10

Unfortunately you seem to have found the fringe element that believe they are Wiccan (sometimes referred to as fluff bunnies). Wicca is not about control per say, but it is about being in control of your life. True Wicca is about living in harmony with Nature and the Universe. It is about realizing that we are all connected. It is about doing what we can to help heal Mother Earth and others.

Wicca has but one law, the Wiccan Rede, which states "An it harm none, do what ye will". Self injuries harm yourself and therefore are not about Wicca. Some people look upon this law of ours and feel that we are without rules because of the "Do what ye will", but when you really think about the "An it harm none" you realize that this incorporates pretty much everything that any other religion tells you is wrong; killing, theft, rape, torture, all these things harm others which is why true Wiccans do not commit these things. Even trying to force your beliefs on others is harm to them which is why we don't go door to door recruiting others to our ways.

If you really want a good view of what Wicca is truly about I would suggest reading a copy of "The Truth About Witchcraft Today" by Scott Cunningham.

Blessed Be )O(

Answer 11

Wow! You got some amazing answers! I am not Wiccan, I am a witch of over 40 years. You must not know very many genuine Wiccans. How many of them are over 18? Please, I need to know. What tradition does she follow? My guess is NONE! Because she is an Emo Fluffy Bunny type. I can't even bring myself to call her Wiccan. Since she is so powerful ask her to make it rain in Georgia!
The only thing Wiccans (or witches) are in control of is their own life and destiny. And none of the Wiccans or witches I am familiar with are depressed or are into self mutilation. That goes against the rede big time!
With any kind of luck she will grow disillusioned with it and will stop playing, OR she may become serious, do some more research and really get into a peaceful, loving religion. And get her head out of her ***. People like her give true Wiccans (and subsequently witches) a bad name.
BB
)O(