Question for adults only?

Question

I have been with my partner for two and a half years now and i love him with all my heart. He is a truly wonderful man, i honestly couldnt ask for more in a man. He respects me, he cares what i think and he never stops thnking of me. We have a great relationship, he's my best friend aswell as a great lover but just lately i have gone completely off sex. He does not complain and respects me enough not to push for it but i can see it is affecting him. Just the other night he asked me if i still find him attractive (which i do), he really is worried that i've gone off him. I dont know whats wrong with me, i just dont feel like having sex, please help im worried about losing him.

Answer 1

Talk to your Dr. There are medications that can help you.

Answer 2

This is a vital issue to your relationship. You would be very upset if he stopped showing any emotions for you. Women generally don't understand it, but sex is one important way you show your man that you love him. I'm not talking some cold impersonal wham-bam. That we can get from any hooker. But, you must show it if you love him. Fail to do so and he will eventually decide you don't love him (regardless of what you say) and move on.

How to solve the problem?
1. See you doctor. Could be something physical wrong.
2. Decide you're going to do it and then do it.
a. Decide in advance how which nights each week you're going to do it. Make it at least once, but 3 to 4 times a week is more likely what he is looking for.
b. On the nights you going to do it, take a shower, get all dressed up, put on perfume, and maybe even light some candles. You can guess the rest.

More than likely, you will get into it once you start. If not, remember that you're taking care of your man and relationship and act like your into it.

Answer 3

Well, this is a tough situation, I think it is great that he has been this accepting of your issues with this, but at some point it is going to drive a wedge in this relationship.

Some things you can try to get the blood flowing:

1. Try flying solo every once in awhile, it can really help remind you about the fun you are missing without some of the issues with performance and your own self image getting in the way.

2. Try some role playing situations, maybe he is deathly ill and you are the hot nurse who wants to give him "one last night of fun". Or you are the foreign maid who will do "anything" to keep her job after getting caught stealing. Role playing can add some spice and get you in the mood in a hurry.

3. You can ask him what fantasies he may have that he has not been able to fulfill. Working to provide those may improve your own feeling of sexiness and get you feeling better as well.

4. Just do it. It may be if you put yourself in a mindset to just go ahead and do it anyway, maybe set a goal of being with him 2 times this week and making sure you do it. Maybe haivng him show you how he feels about you will help you through this.

If some of these personal things don't help you get through it, then maybe you should talk to your doctor about what might be interfering with your sex drive. Maybe it is medication you are on that is causing issues, or maybe there is medication you should be on. However, I would first try to "work through" the rut yourself, who knows, you may end up having more fun than you were before the rut :)

Answer 4

You don't state how old you are. Unfortunately, this happens. You need to try new ways to get yourself in the mood. Try thinking more about how great sex is with you man, through out the day. Text him through out the day as well, little sexy things like how you can't wait to meet him at home. It won't be easy but you have to try and make yourself get in the mood. You don't have to do it all the time, but once a week would be helpful. Have you started any new medication that may have decreased your limbido? You should go see you family physician and your gyno. There maybe other underlining problems. Your man seems to be very understanding and a wonderful person. As long as you keep good communication explaining to him that you don't understand why this is happening and showing him that you are taking measures to try and resolve the problem (seeing your doctors and trying hard to get yourself in the mood).

Answer 5

If you love him and found him still attractive, there's no such reason that you won't have sex with him. How old are you? As we grow old our hormones changes that may affect our sex drive. If you are a working woman, stress and tension in work will also affect the sex appetite. Tell and be open to your husband/partner about your feelings inorder for him not to worry. Ask him to caress and prolong the foreplay to awaken your sleeping libido. If still doesn't work, try to consult a marriage counselor or a doctor. Good luck.

Answer 6

Have you seen your physician to check all the physical issues to begin with?
Have you cold feet of getting serious and ending up with someone you really deep inside don't want to end up with?
Do you fantasize about sex at all? Sometimes somethings trigger reactions like yours based on past experiences. These are some questions that you can ask yourself and possibly find an answer. If you don't then maybe you need some counseling. I would write to the Playboy adviser and get their opinion. Most of the time they have good advise. Good luck

Answer 7

Sex is an interesting activity kind of like exercise. You can go without it, but the more you do it the better you feel. You never hear someone say "I wish I didn't exercise this yesterday." The same goes for sex.

If men waited until they felt they "wanted" to give flowers the whole flower industry would be destroyed. Some times we express our love by bring pleasure to our partners.

Answer 8

i once read in a magazine that many people go through this problem, they said that the rhemedy is to just start up with foreplay even if your not into it, by the time he gets into it you'll be ready to go as well, i've been in the situation and i did it, it works most of the time. good luck, your lucky to have an understanding man, maybe if he thinks you dont think he is good looking, give him small compliments throughout the day, like what he is wearing or tell him its so nice to have a man around, guys like to hear about how they are strong and manly.

Answer 9

COMPLETELY NORMAL!!!!
I have been with my husband for 7 years now. Every relationship goes through stages like this. The whole make out 24/7 stage, the have sex 24/7 stage and now you two are just at the point where you are so comptrable together you don't have to have sex all the time and flat out don't want it.
Don't worry, you will have your wild moments out of nowhere so I wouldn't worry about it too much.
It's kinda hard to explane but trust me, its not because you don't find him attractive anymore or anything, it might be because your body just wants a break for awhile or you could possibly be bored at the moment with sex that you want to do something simple like the classic dinner and movie or just relax for an evening. Just talk to him about it and hopefully he stops feeling so neglected because I know that is not your intention. Good luck!

Answer 10

It could be hormonal because sometime with hormonal changes a woman's libido and sexual drive seem to go down or away. There is a prescription that you can get from the doctor after he carefully examines you so that you can get the desire back. Also, there are things that if there is no spice in your sexual life - it if is a job and monotous that you may be turned off - try different positions, and you doing strip tease for him or wearing sexy lingerie. Go out some where and have sex somewhere beside home or the bedroom - just spice it up and see if the desire comes back.

Answer 11

Ive been w/ mine for 7 years, we havent been having sex much for the past year. Try mixing it up, my problem is it just got into a rut, but we kind of became better friends out of the deal, so sometimes a little break is a good thing. Now he's so used to me not wanting to he doesnt even try, but its fixable. Just dont pressure yourself to want to, it makes it worse.


Edit: Sheesh do people really run to the doctor for every single little problem? No wonder the pharmaceutical companies own us.

Its a normal phase. It wil come back around, give it time.