This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for
years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke.
The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.
Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop
and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a
doctor. She was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.
The years went by and he continued to rip them out! Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her.
She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled
back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.
Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and
the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom.
The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor
laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.
About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his
bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face.
She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter. He said, "Honey, you were right. All these years you have warned me
and I didn't listen to you.
"What do you mean?" asked his wife.
"Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and these two fingers, I think I got most of them back in.
2007-12-10 03:37:43 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
LOOOOOOOOL...... OMG....
Un expected end.....
Soooooooooo......Beautiful.....
U R the best story teller .....
Will definitely have myself as a BIG FAN of yours...
2007-12-10 04:29:30 · answer #1 · answered by FOREVER AUTUMN 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Funny! 100!
2007-12-10 04:05:27 · answer #2 · answered by cats 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i wonder if he'll notice them in a few hours, when he uses the toilet for a #2 - will he scoop them out and run them to the E.R.? the guy is an idiot, the guts were completely detached, and he's how old and has never seen raw turkey guts?
2016-04-08 05:52:57 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a good one just in time for the holidays
2007-12-10 04:14:09 · answer #4 · answered by Wakatah 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ewwww, gross. That was a great joke. Kudos to the wife.. Star for you
2007-12-10 03:42:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'll never be able to look at Christmas dinner the same way again!!!
2007-12-10 03:43:00 · answer #6 · answered by Firefox 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutetly bloomin brilliant. Sounds like something MY wife would do !!!! lol
2007-12-10 05:59:46 · answer #7 · answered by george d 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
finger licking good have a star and a peg for the nose.
2007-12-10 04:23:08 · answer #8 · answered by country bumpkin [sheep nurse] 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is absolutley the funniest thing!!!!!!! You get a star!
2007-12-10 03:43:02 · answer #9 · answered by Crazy_Blonde <3 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well worth a star,,ha ha ah
2007-12-10 06:01:11 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋