my husband seems to have no sex drive... every once in a wile he will say he is horny but thats it.i always seem to be the aggressor wich kinda sucks because it almost makes you feel unwanted ive talked to him about it before but it never gets us anywhere.what should i do we have been married a couple months.i know its not the way i look or anything im an attractive woman (no i am not conceited im just giving you all the facts).i am 23 and he is 25...whats the deal?i dont know what i should do...
2007-12-10 03:35:13 · 12 answers · asked by lisa l 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well, I certainly know how you feel :)
Most likely the two of you need to look at the rest of your relationship, what are the stress factors he is dealing with, how are your finances, have you been having any other troubles in your early marriage. Just like you, we have outside influences that can affect our sex drive and stress can be a huge factor. If you think that is the case then help him with whatever it is that is causing the stress.
The other possibility is that this has less to do with his sex drive and more to do with the two of you just being out of sync sexually. It is very possible you have cut off his advances in the past without realizing that is where he was going with it when he was trying to be intimate. It is also possible that the two of you are just on different cycles. He may be more "ready" in the morning and you are looking for more in th evening.
All of these are things you can work on, I would not bring them up to him as that will likely make things worse, but things you can keep an eye out for yourself. A big part of any relationship is understanding your partner, and looking for these signals will help you understand what is going on so you can work with him on it (without him knowing that is what you are doing).
I think the discussions you have had about it before have probably only made him more self-aware about it and as you can probably see by many of the men's posts to this thread it is something that he will think is "wrong" with him which unfortunately will only make it worse. I think you should make an extra effort to be there for him and an extra effort to "reward" him for the things he is doing. That seems like the best place to start to me.
If that doesn't work and he doesn't get out of this "phase" then you two can discuss bringing in help of some sort to work on this. Either medical or psychological help can be very useful here, but I think it is best to try to work it out yourself first and see where that takes you.
2007-12-10 03:52:53 · answer #1 · answered by JA in SC 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a weird situation. At 25, maybe he's focused on career or something, but it's important that you communicate with him. Also maybe think outside the box, ask about some of the other things that could turn him on. Role play, etc.
I'm no expert, you should try to ask this in the Married section. the couples might have better advice.
Just be confident in yourself, and remember what drew you 2 together.
2007-12-10 11:47:27 · answer #2 · answered by mundawgs 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
At this age and given the fact that you are newly married, you should at least do it 4-5 times a day. Moreover, you should spent considerable time foreplaying and having fun with your organs. Take a shower together and try to make him horny by teasing him or touching his sensitive area by your hands or your FEET. Let him suck your toes and lick your feet. Put a finger or your big toe in his anus. Talk to him in a sexy way. Use sexy clothing. Put nice perfume.
Ask him about his fantasies and try to make them come true.
2007-12-10 11:50:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
To give him some drive do some kinky stuff like tie him to a bed and do what ever you want to do with him, use sex toys on yourself in front of him(he'll love it), buy cute under-garments and stuff turn him on. Do a strip tease show for him. GOOD LUCK!!!!!!
2007-12-10 11:47:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get used to it. I have a friend in the exact same position. Nothing to do but either TCB for yourself or find something he can take to help.
2007-12-10 11:39:34 · answer #5 · answered by chaoss13 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is very strange
he should go get a testosterone check at the uroligist
me personally its getting higher than ever and im 27
2007-12-10 11:38:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Low testosterone could be the cause, but it could be other factors too, is he stressed? or maybe even depression, that one can really put a damper on someones libido.
2007-12-10 11:40:54 · answer #7 · answered by The Seal 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it may be him i am 36 and have a huge sex drive talk to him
2007-12-10 12:25:59 · answer #8 · answered by irish_matt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So guys can be really aggressive, others are just not horney all the time. he is one of those guys that is not into having alot of sexy time.
2007-12-10 11:40:58 · answer #9 · answered by Mike L 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
R u sure that he is not getting the sex from somewhere else?
2007-12-10 11:39:49 · answer #10 · answered by Niel 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋