We live in Omaha, and were suposed to be at the mall when it got shot up, but my 3 year old was fussing so we turned around and went home. She probably saved our lives. Well, my five year olds friends have been talking about it at school and my daughter is now coming home asking questions, like why is the flag half way up the pole, who died, what were there names. Why did this guy do this. and more.
I don't know how to explain it to her. We have been telling her we will discuss after your baby sister goes to bed. And forgetting to do it, or hoping she forgets, but she is not and I am not sure how to talk to her about it, but my husband said this morning we have to sit down tonight and talk about it with her.
How would you explain it.
2007-12-10 03:32:36 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I'd say sit her down and calmly talk to her. Just answer the questions she has. It'll be hard to explain how bad things can happen in this world to a 5 year old, with out scaring her. She might be scared for awhile after you talk to her, but just remind her that you love her, and that you guy's will always protect her.
2007-12-10 03:42:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh my....I would keep it as simple as possible, and make sure you only answer exactly what she asks.
A very sick man killed some people and we really don't know why. We don't know why some people do the things they do. Everyone is very sad about this, and that's why the flag is halfway up the pole.
It's possible that that will be enough. If there are follow-up questions, keep it straightforward and simple. The more you try to avoid her questions, the scarier it will be for her.
I wouldn't include the part about how if it hadn't been for your 3 year old that you would have been there....She may figure that out, but if you can avoid telling her that she would have been at that mall, you'll save her some nightmares. If she already knows this, then emphasize that you were *not* there.
Anyway, I hope this helps.
2007-12-10 03:59:03 · answer #2 · answered by Liza 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
First of all, what an act of God to have your three year old fuss and save your lives on that day. God works in mysterious ways!! :]
I live in Council Bluffs, right next to Omaha, and was shocked at what I had heard about and seen happen at Westroads, especially since my boyfriend works at Westroads mall but just by chance that day happened to be working at Oakview instead.
My advice on how to explain this to your child is to just tell her what you know she can handle. Only you and your husband truly know what your child is able to handle and not to handle. I find it's best to answer young children's questions with only as much information necessary to answer the question. Then if they ask more questions, you give them a little more information. No need to confuse a little 3 year old child with complicated explanations about death. Just explain everything in a manner that is appropriate for her to handle and understand, and only tell her what is necessary.
Hope this helps!
2007-12-10 03:47:36 · answer #3 · answered by Kelsette 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You MUST explain it to her!
Putting it off like this is doing more harm to her then the truth ever would have. A child has a great imagination, and when you take a group of children, imaginations go wild.
What she is imagining is far more horrific than the truth. The truth is that there are some people that are bad out there and Mom's and Dad's do everything they can to protect their children from them. Mom and Dad also have help though from many different people including the police all the way up to the Army.
She needs to know the truth.
2007-12-10 04:24:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Tell her the truth and try and explain it in words she would understand. It's better for her to get an explanation from you than other kids in school. Explain about a bad man hurt good people for no reason. That he had a kind of sickness in is head (depression, she wo'n know what that is though) that the doctor's didn't know about, or that he stopped taking his medicine so he got sick again. Then you will probably have to explain to her there are different medicines for different sicknesses (if she asks). Good luck.
2007-12-10 03:41:32 · answer #5 · answered by koda 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to give them the truth and your beliefs in what happened and what to do when it happens and after it happens. Child know more sooner than parents are aware of. You need to explain the wrong in what happened. I would leave out the gory details but the overall needs to be discussed. You do not want to run away from answering tough questions; you want your child to come to you for the answers not someone else. Best of luck.
2007-12-10 03:49:08 · answer #6 · answered by L A 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cut the drama and just use words. No need to make it a formal setting. Answer most of her questions with questions, "what do you think happen?"
2007-12-10 05:16:12 · answer #7 · answered by Level 7 is Best 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just like if I were to tell you what happend. You don't need to cherry coat it, also your not going to be able to answer all of her questions about it because something people just don't know the answer to, make her aware.
2007-12-10 03:41:24 · answer #8 · answered by krennao 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just be honest and tell her it was a very mean man that did something wrong. And he will be punished for it because when people do bad things they get punished.
2007-12-10 04:10:53 · answer #9 · answered by ☆ღWifey Wifeyღ☆ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be honest to your child, but use simple words you don't want her learning too fast at this rate. Find a way to occupy your child, like change the subject , because you don't want your kid thinking about death at 5 yrs old. Or ask your teacher to tell the children to not talk about killing. Remember this is about your child's future.
2007-12-10 03:42:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋