Akward situation with sister in law.?

Question

Last Christmas I gave my sister in law some very nice things from Bath and Body Works. It was until just recently I saw the same items that I gave her in my other sister in laws house when I went to visit one day. Turns out she regifted my gift and gave it to her sister (my other sister in law). I'm extremely hurt and am offended she didn't tell me she didn't like the gift. I'm hesistant about getting her a gift this year and would really like to know how to handle the situation. Do I confront her or not? Please help! Thanks.

Answer 1

Don't get offended. Last year, I gave my SIL a pannetone (which is a traditional european cake) as a thank-u for the christmas dinner she prepared. She did'nt know what it was & did'nt let me explain either. She just took 1 look @ it and said,
"We don't eat sugar, you'll have to take this back home with you."
Then 30 min later, she was eating chocolates & cheesecake. It was very disrespectful & I was really angry, but let it go, it wasn't worth the fight, especially on Christmas. She's just an ignorant person. That's just how she is, and I can't change her.
Over the years, my husband & I have received so many "regifts" from my SIL it's hilarious! Gifts she received from her wedding 3 years ago are given to us as christmas presents. We laugh about it now.
I would suggest getting her a restaurant gift card so she & her husband can have a nice dinner, relax, and talk about which items in their home they are going to regift this year.
Don't stress yourself out! It's not worth it! Merry Christmas!

Answer 2

Seems to me that not only do you feel hurt and offended, but betrayed as well.
While what she did was probably not the most tactful or smart thing to do, I'm certain she appreciated the thought and consideration you displayed by giving her a gift that you thought she would appreciate. It could have been that the gifts just didn't suit her taste, and by "regifting" to her sister, who seems to appreciate the items more than she did, she was honoring you by giving the gift to someone else who would be even more appreciative.
As they say, the gift is actually in the giving. I don't know her, so I certainly can't judge her motives, but I would doubt she did it with malicious intent to hurt you. I think this is one of those times where you should take a deep breath, swallow your feelings, and move on.
Not giving her a gift this Christmas seems a bit vindictive and extreme given the situation as it has been presented here. I don't sense that there has been an underlying current of problems in your relationship with her, and that gifting during Christmas is simply a masking-over of that resentment. I would certainly hope this is not the case, but if it is, or if it will be, there is no need to present her with a gift.
If it is not, I would suggest a gift certificate where she would be able to purchase something that she would proudly display as something she purchased with the gift her sister-in-law gave her.
P.S. I'm confused with the term "regifting". Did she regift or did she give these items to her sister? If she did regift, it was tacky and inconsiderate, and you should approach her about it. If she simply gave the items to her, it is a totally different situation, and you should drop it and move on.

Answer 3

She could have just thrown it away. Don't say anything, once you give a gift, its gone and you don't control it any longer.

In the future, ask everyone to write a short list of what they want, or give gift cards. Fragrance is very personal, never give it unless you know that is the scent and the brand they life. I love Bath and Body work stuff, but I cannot use it because of a skin condition. I would never embarrass a giver by telling them I don't like or can't use it. It is the thought that counts, but really put some thought into it and make sure you aren't buying something you like.

Answer 4

There is nothing wrong with re-gifting. Besides, you don't know that she re-gifted. Maybe she liked your gift so much that she went to Bath & Body Works and bought the same for her sister. Either way, it doesn't matter. You don't know the situation. Maybe she didn't have the money to buy her sister a nice gift so unselfishly she passed along the nice gift you gave her. Don't be mad about it and certainly don't confront her. Just let it go because you don't know anything about it, you are just guessing.

Answer 5

Do NOT confront her. What would that achieve?

Just think about what she might like, and give her that.

Try to pretend you never saw evidence of regifting.

Actually, you don't KNOW she regifted. Maybe she liked it so much she bought it for the other SiL.

Personal grooming products are funny things.

We each have our preferences and prejudices, likes and dislikes.

If she has certain scents she prefers, then she just doesn't want others. Rejecting the gift is NOT the same as rejecting you.

Besides, you don't know that that's what she did.

Whether it's true or not, you don't want to start a battle between you.

If you know what products she DOES like, get them, otherwise get something completely different that you think she'd like.

Answer 6

You absolutely do not do anything. It's not polite to tell someone you don't like their gift and it was actually nice of her to give it away. I think she made a poor choice in people as it would be so easy for you to see it at your other sister in laws house. But I'm sure she wanted to save your feelings.

Sometimes things with a scent are a personal preference situation. I, for example, can't stand spicy or flowery soaps and lotions. I love the citrus fruity smells. So I prefer people to not give me candles, or anything with a scent.

She might not like those kinds of things, but would never want to hurt your feelings. It's rude to tell someone you don't care for their gift and best to keep your mouth shut and not let the gift go to waste.

So don't be hurt. She did nothing wrong. Unless this is a habit of hers and there's more to the story, continue to feel a kind, generous, Christmas spirit and gift her again this year kindly. But this time, really think about what kind of items you have seen in her home. What would she personally care for? If she likes wine, give her a nicely wrapped bottle of a fine wine, etc.

Don't harbor those bad thoughts anymore. No reason to ruin your Christmas.

Feliz Navidad!

Answer 7

Continue to give her gifts. Don't hold a grudge. Maybe there is a good explanation/reason why she re-gifted your gift. I am sure it has nothing to do with how she feels about you or your generosity.
Look on the bright side: Your other sister in law obviously likes the gift you picked out (even though she doesn't know you did).
Just shrug it off and try to buy your "re-gifting" sister in law a present that she will not want to let go of. :-)

Answer 8

I would let it go. It's funny that you brought this up. One year I gave my sister in law movie tickets in her stocking, for my birthday that year I recieved some from her. I turned them over and there was the christmas tag to Heather from Santa. I wanted to say something but my husband told me to let it go. We now have a good laugh over it! You don't know why she regifted it maybe she didn't care for the scent or she doesn't use the product but your other sister in law loves it. It's best to not say anything and find out what things interest her and buy something that goes with that. I know it's hard I really wanted to point it out but what good would it have done?

Answer 9

She probably have too many of Bath and Body works. It is pretty common items to give as gifts.
Why don't you try to be more creative?
Alternative, buy a voucher and add a little gift as token for the Christmas spirit. She could buy what she wanted.
If your relationship is good with her, you should understand what she wants.
Christmas season is always stressful.
I always shop all year round, i.e. buy whenever I see something special. Have it at home, ready for birthdays, anniversary.... you name it.

Answer 10

If you confront her you will open up a can of worms.. let it roll off your shoulder. I think you should still get her something if you always have... just dont spend as much and maybe opt for a gift card.

But from experience... dont tell her anything... you never know... maybe she didnt regift... maybe she liked your gift so much she bought one for her sister... probably not but you never know. =)
good luck.