My boyfreind and I have a joint account, we are planning on getting married. His ex called and asked for money to buy Dylon christmas gifts, She has been remarried and divorced she has another son with anonther man and this boy is physcally handycapped my boyfreind told me that she can't get a job because this boy is handycapped. But I have come to find out that the boy is always at her freinds house, which is my boyfreinds sister. While she goes out and does whatever and not working. My boyfreinds son doen't even live with her he lives with her mother in another city. So she is getting Child support for both boys and disabilty for the one boy and doesn't work. I myself can say No or Yes to this Question, So what do I do? The thing that upset me the most is we were out the other night and we ran into his ex, so it is hard to say yes when she was out partying. But I can't say no because Dustin owes he a little of back child support. So what do I Do?
2007-12-10 03:02:54 · 14 answers · asked by Gillian F 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I wouldn't give money for christmas presents per say. However, I would pay the child support up to date.
2007-12-10 03:09:29 · answer #1 · answered by LLTTF 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
The answer to this is an easy one, send the grandmother the money to buy Christmas presents for Dylan! Make sure you send a check or a money order!
Why should you send the money to her if he is NOT even with her????
The other thing that I think should be addressed is this, if I were you guys, I would contact the child support agency and let them know that the child is NOT living with his mother, but with his grandmother and tell them that you would like the child support sent to the grandmother to pay for Dylan's upkeep.
Calling a local child agency can also get everything looked into and if girlfriend is raising the other child, she would get the support money for that child as well.
My husband's ex is exactly like this, and I am telling you now, either get custody of the boy or get the authorities involved to get grandma custody or this woman will haunt you for a good many years to come!
2007-12-10 03:11:39 · answer #2 · answered by mrsmommaid 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are choosing to marry a man who isn't raising his own child and who isn't owning up to his responsibility as a father by supporting his child. That's on you and you may want to keep that in the back of your mind, you aren't any different than his ex who probably didn't think she would be in this position either.
I suggest you get a list from the grandmother of what the boy needs and wants, and your b/f buys the gifts and takes them to the grandmother for the child. Include any back child support and give that to the grandmother too.
I also advise, even though you didn't ask about it, that you take a good hard look at this situation. There but for the grace of God go you, and you might not even be able to say that if you stay with this dishonorable boy. A man doesn't treat his son this way.
2007-12-10 03:33:03 · answer #3 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 3⤋
She is never going to go away, if that's what you want, and she will probaly always try to sabbatoge his relationships. She is the mother of his daughter. I think the best thing for you to do would be to learn to live with her. Be nice to her when you see her..offer to go to dinner with her. You might be suprised. Tom and her have history..they will ALWAYS have history and you will never be able to change that. And she will always use their daughter to have leverage over him. So, next time you feel the urge to text her something terrible ..think of something nice. Why don't you offer to give her the 32 dollars. You know what they always say..keep your friends close but your enemies closer. If you really love Tom being nice to his ex shouldn't be a problem..and if you insist you have no insecurities then why did you respond to her text in the first place? Step back an reevalutate your place in Tom's life. Tell him you're sorry and that you never meant for his daughter to be drug in the middle like this, which you should be.
2016-05-22 11:40:10 · answer #4 · answered by amada 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pass on the Christmas presents but give her money that the state knows is for child support to get him back up to date. I would have a hard time giving someone money for presents if they acted this way.
2007-12-10 03:12:13 · answer #5 · answered by sanzoe 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would not give her money for Christmas presents. She seems to find money to go and party. Since his son lives with the grandmother, he needs to call her and see what the child needs. It also seems like the grandmother should be receiving the child support.
2007-12-10 03:35:02 · answer #6 · answered by Viking Fan 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I was in a similar situation over 10 years ago.
My (then) boyfriend and I gave his ex $900 for Christmas presents. It was a big mistake. We have regretted it. (We are now married)
What we should have done is buy the children presents ourselves (including any half-siblings as equally). Buy your step-son's brother presents and show him love as if he were yours too because your step son loves his brother. And children can only understand love.
Don't leave the brother out.
But absolutely DO NOT give that woman any money under any circumstances outside of what is court ordered or you will regret it.
2007-12-10 03:21:39 · answer #7 · answered by kjay_39 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say NO! Then offer to purchase the child a christmas gift.
2007-12-10 04:45:19 · answer #8 · answered by Beauty1529 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest that if he gives money it is considered part of the back support owed. She'd have money for gifts and he's have paid off money owing. Then he can buy his child something from himself and she can solve her own financial problems.
2007-12-10 03:15:14 · answer #9 · answered by Choqs 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't give any money as gifts, especially when he owes back pay, every penny should be accounted for. What she wants to give her son for Christmas is her own problem, you guys get him whatever you want to, as long as it isn't cash.
2007-12-10 03:10:43 · answer #10 · answered by Lovebug123 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋