My family hates me. What should I do?

Question

I was supposed to get a car when I was 16. They basically promised to me that I would get my dads car cause he was getting a new one. When I turned 16 they sold it.
I got 2 jobs at 17 over the summer and ever since then I had to pay my parents $50 every month. (rent?) I started paying for stuff myself, like for school and stuff. I had a savings account and by the end of the summer I had about $1000. I lost one of my jobs because my mom wouldnt want to take me to work. I t was like 5 minutes away! ( the other job was seasonal) My parents wouldnt let me get a job during the school year b/c they said school was more important. I was still paying the $50. My money slowly slipped away over the schoolyear. In march of my senior year, I finally reached a breaking point of all the stress about money and gettng a car. My sister found my "diaries" in my room and decided to read them. She actually had to find them because I KNOW i hid them. Some of the pages were about me being depressed and

I got really mad that my sister was reading my personal thoughts. I always get mad at her so there were also pages about me being mad at her. She was about to give them to my parents to read. I was SO PO'd that I charged at her to get them back so my parents couldnt read them. My dad threw me to the ground and called the cops. They came and took me to a mental therapy place along with my little rants on paper. I was there for 3 days and me and my parents had therapy. We talked about why everything happened. I explained to the therapist about what my sister did with the diaries. My mom interrupted saying "she only did that because she cares about you" that is a bunch of bullshi*! She likes me getting in trouble. She enjoys it. Another thing my parents do is say that everything is always my fault. the counselor was like "so, tell me the last time she was actually right about something" they couldnt think of anything! my mom said "well thats because shes never right about anything"

After therapy things got better, I got my job again over the summer, and I got my $1000 saved up again. I paid for college, but then found out at the last minute that my mom wouldnt take me. First she said I would have to pay every time she drove me, but it ended up as never. I thought it would be a waste of money to rarely be able to go to classes and fail, so I dropped them and got most of my money back. When they found out that I quit school, they kicked me out. I live with my bf now. Its been 4 months. Over these 4 months, my mom lied to my entire family about what had happened. I talked to my aunt, cousin, and grandma, and they all thought that I willingly left the house. they were shocked when I told them the truth. Then my grandma got sick (like, seriously ill), and they didnt have the guts to call me. They made my sister email me. And I think they blocked me from emailing them. When I went to go get all my things from my house, my dad lied about what he packed. He said he packe

d everything but there were lots of things missing. My sister tried to take Guitar Hero and the guitar (she hid them somewhere because my dad couldnt find it) he asked her where it was and she "didnt know". She also took my calvin and hobbes books and sonic the hedgehog comic books. I know this becase shes the only sibling that can read. They sort of have sentimental value so i was super mad. I never got that stuff back. I dont know if I should contact them or not, I feel like they dont deserve it. I miss my dog and my brothers though..

Answer 1

Your family doesn't hate you. Teen years can suck, but it'll be over soon.

Answer 2

The first part of your question sounds like your parents are trying to teach you responsibility by having you contribute toward household expenses while you were working. That's something you have to learn in order to be able to live in the real world and many parents implement such a policy as a teaching tool for their kids. If your job was only 5 minutes away, why did you lose it because your Mom wouldn't drive you there? It may have taken you 15 minutes to walk there. If you wanted to keep the job you would have figured out a way to get there. So take responsibility for that. The fact that you started paying for your own stuff and you were able to save up money in a bank account says you are pretty responsible. Just be careful about blaming things on other people when those things are the result of your own choices.

The second part of your question is a little more interesting. First, your sister had no right to read your diary regardless of her motive. And she had no right to show it to anyone else. What your Mom said to the therapist makes it sound like there are some communication issues within the family that need to be resolved. What was the outcome of your 3 day stay? Are you currently in therapy? If not, you may want to consider it. You need to learn how to communicate more effectively with your parents instead of harboring resentments over things that bother you. They also need to learn a more effective communication style. A good counselor can help you all learn how to relate to each other better.

EDIT
I answered before you added additional details about moving out. Since you're out on your own, concentrate on living your life. The things that were missing are material things that can be replaced. What's more important is that you move forward with your life and live for you. If you focus on the past, it will only hold you back. Think about how you want your life to be and take steps to make it that way. If you miss your brothers, stay in touch with them. Try not to talk about negative things when you do talk to them. Remember what you learned in therapy and if necessary, don't be afraid to go back for a refresher.

Answer 3

Well you made grown up decisions, like dropping out of college, and these are the consequences of your actions. All through your question you give excuses for why you can't do something, like losing your first job because your mom wouldn't take you and it was 5mins away. Did you consider walking? People do that you know.

I'm sorry you had such a bad experience in your teen years, but until you acknowledge that some of that was your fault and grow up enough to stop blaming things on everyone else, things aren't going to get much different.

If you were a smart girl, you would think about this and have a meeting with your parents. My guess is that they love you enough to let you fall on your face, but they are scared to death about your future. When you can really mean it, tell them you are sorry and you love them and you want to come back home. Then work your butt off to make it up to them, and get into college and make something of yourself.

Its on you, hon, its your life and you are responsible for it. Stop making excuses and do the right thing for yourself.

Answer 4

At first you sounded like you were just whining, but reading on, you do have a legitimate reason why you feel your family hates you.
The car thing you can't help, they might have needed the money, or they felt you weren't responsible enough to have a car. Paying your parents rent is a good lesson for teens before they go out on their own, but to have continued charging your rent when they didn't let you get a job, was plain stupid and selfish. Your sister invaded your privacy, it is understandable that you got upset and reacted the way you did, when she threatened to show your parents. I don't know how old you are now, it sounds like you are 18, but you need to find a way to get out of that house, and be on your own.

Answer 5

i would work towards getting stuff for myself if they dont want to help, it will benefit you in the long run because you will learn to be very independent !!!!