im not being a jerk when i tell her she can't go to parties where i know there will be drinking?
2007-12-10 02:41:34 · 39 answers · asked by jacks_insanity 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Toughy...
For the ages of like 13-17 there is no way to convince her. Just show her that you love her and stand firm as her parent, not her friend. By the time she hits 18 she will love you for it and you two will be close again. It is a tough time for any parent . Just remind her that when she has kids she will understand.
2007-12-10 02:46:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
If she's a teen, there is nothing you can do to convince her differently. My parents were super strict on me when I was a teen, and the more my parents wouldnt let me do something, the more I would sneak around and actually do it. When she gets older, she will understand. Who says she's actually going to drink if she does go to the party? She may just want to go to socialize with her friends. If you think peer pressure is going to be an issue then talk to her and tell her the importance of not drinking underage and the concenquences she will face if caught.
2007-12-10 02:58:43 · answer #2 · answered by Riley's Mommy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you afraid of letting your daughter make her own decisions? If you've advised her about the the dangers of alcohol then you shouldn't be worrying. Just because you assume there will be drinking doesn't actually mean their is drinking. Also, it's a fact that if you have taught her about the dangers of alochol then they're not going to drink anyways. I mean how do you really know there is drinking? Maybe if you let her go to one and she finds out that partying with people who drink isn't as fun as it seems when she can't do it maybe she won't go again.
2007-12-10 11:01:06 · answer #3 · answered by Steven R 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depending on how old your daughter is???
I would just sit down with her and explain to her that the parties will have drinking going on ...regardless if she drinks or not...it could turn into something bad....like being in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Personally, this is something I never had to struggle with...first party I went to I was drugged because I wasn't a drinker. Had a pop can and someone put drugs in it...nearly died.. Therefor after that I never went or wanted to go to another party again!
2007-12-10 02:49:12 · answer #4 · answered by smiliechicka22 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At some point you do have to let your daughter have some freedom. You have to trust her judgement b/c I'm afraid if you never let her go to these parties then she will lie and find a way to get to them and generally drink b/c you don't know she is there. Make a compromise with her. If you know there will be drinking , You drop her off and you come pick her up. Let her know you will be doing field sobriety test and breathalizer. She will be to scared to drink and sometimes she needs to see that it ain't all fun to be around a bunch of drunks. Let her have a cellphone just in case of emergency and trust your daughter. Chances are she will not want to go back to one once she sees how people act all drunk.
2007-12-10 03:29:07 · answer #5 · answered by Bilinda G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to convince her you aren't a jerk...you are the parent she is the child, its your responsibility to keep her safe and not letting her go to parties that involve drinking is what you are supposed to do. She doesn't like it tough, she can let her children go when she has them if she wants to, but until then she's under your roof and lives by your rules.
2007-12-10 02:58:45 · answer #6 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's all a matter of how you see things. She see's you as a jerk, but you KNOW you're doing the right thing and seeing how she's the kid and youre the parent, who cares? What kind of dad would you be to let her go? Does she know that child services could take her away and put her in a 3rd rate foster home if you let her go?
2007-12-10 09:54:26 · answer #7 · answered by Valkyrie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that's part of being a parent sometimes. Someday she will understand. Stay strong and as long as you are looking after her best interests, don't worry. And she may like this, that there are rules and boundaries even though she would never admit it probably. She'll get over it too because kids are very resilient. But talk to her and let her know why. That might help her to understand and at least she will feel respected.
2007-12-10 02:45:36 · answer #8 · answered by Unsub29 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her you'll go with her to check it out. It is your right as a parent. If the party was to be on the "up and up", there would be no reason for her to be aprehensive abouting inviting you. If she balks at that, make a deal that you will only go to one party to inspect. (You can always sneak after her if you don't trust her.)
If that doesn't work, sit her down with a steak and a bottle of gin at the dinner table. (I hated alcohol after that experience.)
My parents were innovators in their torture techniques.
Why doesn't she trust your judgement and why don't you trust her that she won't drink? Is it too late to change this?
2007-12-10 02:52:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Explain to her the things that happen at parties like that and tell her it's not her you don't trust it's others (mostly the guys no offense) Then let her have a party at your house with the condition someone you trust can check on it whenever they feel the need. Good Luck
2007-12-10 02:47:23 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋