Expecting way too much? (girlfriend situation)?

Question

I'm currently 18, with a girlfriend who is 16. We've been going out for a year (in 2 more days.) Now before her there was nobody, so i was 17, with no girlfriend;and never even kissed a girl or anything like it.That's not the only reason i'm with her though, and i try to do everything for her.

However, although we're both young, some physical stuff does happen[no actual intercourse].But last night I found out that her old boyfriend who she had when she was 14-15, and in her freshman year already did stuff

Although nobody likes to think of their girlfriend doing stuff with other guys, i found out that every day after school they'd go to this one room, and make out for 5mins. She was never given a sex talk, ever, and has always been clueless about this stuff, and thought thats what a boyfriend was. The biggest shock was finding out that he actually 'fingered' her a bit, but apparantly she cried afterwards and it never happened again.I dont know what i was, all i can say is dissapoin

disappointed*, but I'm not sure why; maybe it's because i expected my first time, when it happens, to be with someone else who hasn't done anything. Or maybe just the fact that this has been done to her in the past. Is this right?

Answer 1

your gf is probably telling you lies because of your virtue.
Most people have had sex by your age.
Get over it.
Do you think women are gonna be chaste at all the stages of your life.
Doesn't matter what she has or hasn't done.
All that matters is that she is with you right..?
It doesn't even matter if she is not a virgin.
Just because you are chaste doesn't mean any body is less if they are not.
In 10 years you will probably barely remember this girl unless you have intercourse together then it won't matter at all as you will find out as you grow up.
Sounds to me like you are too judgemental over something that is really none of your business.
It is her experience not yours and if you carry on about something so small you will achieve nothing but to push her away.
Do you really love this girl..?
if you do then nothing she has done will matter, but if it does and it really bothers you then you are a jealous fool who will not have a relationship soon because of a small matter that bothers you so much.
She has probably fingerd herself like you have masturbated, just like we all have.
You are 18 so be a man and don't forget that something so small should not bother you.
As I said if it does then ask yourself, do you really love her..?
If your answer maybe or no then you should not sleep with her as you would just be using her like her last boyfriend.
Respect the girl and tell her that it doesn't matter and that all that does matter is that she loves you...

Answer 2

She is hardly "used goods" is she? OK, so he touched her and he was taking things too far - why is that her fault? 16 is pretty young, but some experience is common at that age nowadays - I am assuming you are not in Pakistan or Saudi Arabia, where such things are quite scandalous - including whatever the two of you might be up to now?
So you wanted someone pure - she is pure. Maybe she is not pure as the driven snow, but she is still a virgin and I am wondering if you are good enough for her. Should a young girl like that be handled by someone two years older who does not appreciate her? You are very judgemental and I think her self esteem is too tender a thing to be trusted to someone as coarse as you seem to be. Besides - did she tell you this or did her ex-boyfriend? Because guys like to overplay their sexual involvement with young girls - especially if they think the new boyfriend will hear it.
I think your standards are a little too high considering your motives. I think you should leave that girl alone - if she is not pure enough for you, you do not deserve to take up her time like you are.

Answer 3

Totally Normay..Its Not So Muh Jealosy As Wishing U HA\ad Been The 1st 2 Do These Things With Her....I Had A BF, And Even Though I Was A Virgin Myself, It Drove Me Nuts 2 Know He Wasnt, And He Only Told Me After I HAD gIVEN iT uP 2 Him...So Yes Its Normal, And Good Luck ;D

Answer 4

One, she hasnt really done much. But what you need to ask yourself is, do you care about her enough to forget about her past?

She went farther than she was ready to with her last b/f, and realized that and stopped. From the sounds of it, she was very nieve at the time, and had a boyfriend that was taking advantage of the situation. The fact that she put an end to it cause she wasnt ready shows a great deal of intelligence on her part. As far as you being her first at everything, that is somewhat understandable, but look at it this way, you could possibly be the first at alot more things, and more important things.

But part of loving someone is coming to terms with their past, you have to either accept it and move on, or let it bother you so much that the relationship fails. Thats pretty much the only two outcomes. Hope you can accept it and it works out for you.

Answer 5

Maybe you feel bad because of what happened to her; it sounded like it was a traumatic experience for her, especially since she didn't know what was happening.

Ten years from now, you're going to have a hard time finding a girl who's never done anything with a guy. If you feel bad that you're not with an innocent girl, you'll need to get over that because it's not going to be easy finding one. It's natural to want to be the only one who's ever pleased your partner, but it's not really practical.

Don't worry about what happened to her before. Focus on what's happening now. Don't do anything to rush her or make her feel bad like she did back then. Depending on what physical things you're doing, focus on her pleasure so she knows that it's supposed to feel good, not something that she should cry about later. Be gentle and loving.

Answer 6

She was immature when she was with the ex-boyfriend, and she still hasn't had intercourse so that is an experience she can still SHARE with someone. She is also still to young to have sex..... so you especially had better not have intercourse with her because unfortunately being that you are 18, if she agrees to something and then later decides that it wasn't ok and she feels bad and upset about it then you could be possibly turned in for statutory rape and wind up in jail.

I can understand that it is disappointing because I too was disappointed to find out that despite the fact that I was a virgin (at 19), my b/f (now hubby) had lost his virginity 3yrs previous (he was 21 when we were dating). I too had the hope of both my mate and I sharing that together, but it just was not meant to be. However there are some things that we HAVE shared together, that neither one of us have experienced before.

That is all things for older people/adults. She is not an adult yet, and if I were you I would wait till marriage because it is almost impossible to find someone who hasn't done "something" and it will take maturity to deal with that. The things that you experience together in marriage are better together instead of being jealous.

Answer 7

umm...you're a very sweet boyfriend huh..and inexperienced but thats OK.
I dont really see the problem. Your first time will be her first time too and what she's done in the past doesnt really define your relationship. You can't 'punish' her for her past with your disappointment. Whats the big deal anyway if she's done some stuff before you and you havent? If anything your ego is just in the way.

Answer 8

dude she is 16 u are 18 u do the same, I really think she too young 4 u ,move on remember u gonna have a lot of woman in your life do not ge depress it is just the begginning just relax time cure anything good luck.

Answer 9

You do relize your relationahip w/her is illegal. u are 18 shes 16. So if i were dont ever do anything. Because you could be charged with rape. even though you guys are together. I do respect you that your a guy and you would like to wait. maybe you should wait till marriage or who knows when it happens it happens.

Answer 10

i think you just have some jealousy issues to deal with , if you can't come to terms with it, then just try to block it out of your mind until you can deal with it.

Everyone has to deal with the fact that someone they're with has baggage, you just have to figure out how *you* personally have to do it. If you can't, then youre going to have a trying life, because as you get older, the new girlfriends you ahve are only going to have even more baggage that you'll have to deal with.