Please help me I'm losing my mind?

Question

my 3 year old little girl became a devil child. About a year ago I stopped working to be at home with her and in aug I went back to work. She has been staying with my sister in law while I work. Lately she has been trying to hit me spit at me and she yells at me. She won't listen at all. I don't want to keep yelling at her and punishing her but I don't know what else to do to get her to be my little girl again. She use to be so polite and fun now she is a terror so is this just how a 3 year old acts or do I need to find a toddler boot camp? Please help me on what to do with her

Thank you all for your great advice I will try all of that just not the hitting part. I don't believe in hitting your child. Oh and the toddler boot camp was a joke I know that therre is no such thing.

The enviroment at my sister in laws is that her cousins don't really get disciplined and its seems that my daughter is always the one in trouble. I see your point with that but I can't afford daycare so I need her to watch my daughter.

Ok whoever is 2honest well you know what jerk I'm a single mom I have no help what so ever so I needed to go back to work to support my daughter so before you open your mouth know the whole story!!!! I'm not looking here for a quick fix I'm asking for advise. Thats what this is here for not for people like you to bad mouth someone you don't even know!

2 honest... I teach my daughter to stand up for herself because of people like you. You don't know my situation so keep your mouth shut. I spend all my time with my daughter other then when I am at work I'm all she has so your damn right I lose my mind. Do you know what its like not having your childs dad in the pic or anyone to help you no you prob don't. Her dad died and she never got a chance to meet him so I don't want to hear anything else about me shutting my mouth and listening to my daughter because I listen very hard and pay every amount of attention to her. I

2 honest... I teach my daughter to stand up for herself because of people like you. You don't know my situation so keep your mouth shut. I spend all my time with my daughter other then when I am at work I'm all she has so your damn right I lose my mind. Do you know what its like not having your childs dad in the pic or anyone to help you no you prob don't. Her dad died and she never got a chance to meet him so I don't want to hear anything else about me shutting my mouth and listening to my daughter because I listen very hard and pay every amount of attention to her.

Answer 1

what you need to do is look for a small mark somwhere on the child. it should be appear as a birthmark resembling the number 6 no more or less than 3 times in a circular pattern. if she has these, kill her immediately

Answer 2

She is confused on the change from you going back to work. Does she act out for your sister in law or is this just for you? If it is just for you ask yourself... 1. how rushed you are when picking her up 2. do you then need to stop at the store or run a quick errand on the way home 3. then how long does it take you once you come in the door at home to when you can actually spend time with her?

If in the rush at the end of the day to get her, get dinner, get home and then make dinner and clean up....she is not your center of attention, she is trying her 3 year old best to make you notice her.

My advice is to do all shopping and errands over the weekend, try to prepare a few meals that can go in the crock -pot or freezer for easy preparing during the week. Then when you pick her up take time to really focus on her, go straight home and sit down and play for awhile. Any behavior that is not acceptable, get her attention, look her in the eye and use your best deep "I'm the mommy voice" and say "you can not hit mommy" or kick or bite...then give her a 3 min time-out. Be very consistent and firm, but do not argue or yell or loose your temper. You might want to start that over the weekend, not during the week....

I wish you the best of luck, kids take a lot of Patience!!

Answer 3

Young kids tend to act out whenever they're affected by a major change. Your little girl was used to being with you all the time and now she's suddenly with someone else. She's probably displacing her frustration onto you. Of course, that doesn't mean she should be allowed to do that. You have to keep enforcing a consistent consequence for her bad behavior.

Try to make some time to spend with her, either on the weekends or in the evenings... sometime when it's just you and your daughter and she has your undivided attention. Always ask her what she did during the day and be interested in what she says. She might back off if she feels like she's still important to you. Good luck.

Answer 4

What is the enviroment at your SIL house? I know that even a few hours of my sweet little angle being around her poorly behaved coisen can cause my daughter to turn into an absolute monster for a week. You might want to consider a pre school or a daycare if you think that is the problem.

We use the 1-2-3 Magic Discpline book. It was on the reccomended reading list for parents of 2 year olds from my doctor. Whne my SIL starting asking about how I disciplined my child, I gave her a copy. I guess that her daughter is now behaving much better. (we moved cross country so we haven't seen them in 9 peaceful months)

Answer 5

She doesn't need a toddler boot camp, but YOU need a lot of Mommy training. What do you now think of your choice to go back to work?

Don't transfer blame to your child. This is your issue to fix. Get smart, get educated on how to raise your child. Stop looking on Yahoo Answers for quick fixes.

Edit
You don't like my answer, so you call me a jerk and start yelling and lecturing me? Is this how you're raising your daughter? We've just gotten to the root cause of your problem; no wonder she kicks you! Your daughter is talking to you...shut your mouth, open your ears and listen.

In fact, read your own question, you're "losing your mind". I believe it.

Answer 6

Sounds like she is confused with the sudden change of having you there with her and then you going back to work. Once she gets use to this routine I'm sure she will stop acting so violently towards you, she is just confused and needs your love and understanding right now more than anything else.

Answer 7

DON'T hit...ALL the research shows it only "works" in the short-term but in the long-term it makes things so much worse. You can't teach anything to anyone through fear and intimidation. They also lose respect for their parents because they themselves are not being respected. The hypocrisy of hitting a child to 'teach' them not to hit is not lost on children. DO NOT SPANK. and YES like the other answerer said, the "Magic 123" is great and I highly recommend it.

Answer 8

OK try this it works! If she wants the remote, but isn't allowed to have it, she'll throw a tantrum. With the same intensity as she is screaming, scream back at her "Amy want remote! Amy want remooooooooooote!!!!!!" and she'll stop and look at you -because you UNDERSTOOD her. Well, she still can't have what she wants, but you have to let her know you got her message, but she still can't have the remote, and show her something he CAN have. She is frustrated because she can't communicate very well. If you show her you understand, she still might not be happy, but at least the tantrum duration will be shorter.

Answer 9

Consistent firm discipline for her behavior is what she needs but I'm thinking most of all, she's confused at why she got to spend time with you and now you are working again. She just needs you I'm sure.

Answer 10

The Kindness, attention and keenness- here is that you necessary.